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Anonymous wrote:Have you told him you don't like it? Have you asked him to stop?
Do so, now. You'll find out how much he respects you and likes you by his actions.
+1
Man here.. IMO, that’s an unusual pet name for such, especially in a romantic/intimate setting...
L_S
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It always gives me pause how really, really important it is to some people to make women feel bad about themselves.
I can tell you I am absolutely certain that there are a lot of women much happier not having those individuals in their lives, so I guess it all works out.
Yes, and it is amazing that almost no one actually answered the question, which was where to meet men 45-55. I guess no one knows the answer, or it was just more important to make her feel bad when she formerly fe!t good.
Unfortunately the internet is increasingly a toilet, where everyone gets to dump...
OP - Perhaps you could share a bit about yourself (interests, hobbies, etc) as that would assist us with your dilemma...
L_S
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not a terrible problem to have, but I’ve always looked younger than my age. I’m 48 but the men who ask me out are usually mid thirties. I would like to be asked out by the 45-55 set but they aren’t the ones who ask me out. I’m in a profession where there are a lot of younger people so that’s who I tend to meet.
If older men aren't asking you out... it could be that you don't look as young as you think you do.
Your comment makes no sense. She must be reasonably attractive or she wouldn’t be getting asked out at all, especially if she doesn’t do online dating.
She could be attractive for 48, but the fact remains, men age 45 to 55 do not want 48. They probably just divorced 48, and now they want younger.
PP - I beg to differ as I’m 52, widowed and 45-50 y.o. ladies are in my “wheel-house”... Not all of us are looking really young types...
Goodtime wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just tried to take my husband’s pulse.
Send me a PM
Perhaps you should try being a bit more aggressive (Madonna syndrome)? Maybe try straddling his face? I agree it’s a bit extreme; however, what do you have to lose? Being widowed for the past five years, I remember vividly the times where I was awoken by my wife performing various acts on me. No better way to show love and affection, in my view....
L_S
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old are you? I feel like there are a lot of men like this out there. However, most are probably married if you are above the age of first marriage. If so, I'd look for widowers. Divorced guys often have a lot of baggage.
I'm in my early thirties. Divorced, and agree that divorced guys have baggage. Besides, due to my own divorce, I'd never be able to fully trust a divorced guy. My ex was abusive and awful and still is but would come across as an angel. Ruined my ability to trust in my own judgement.
+1 Widower here...
+1 Widower here as well, originally from the South...
Anonymous wrote:Me thinks too much make-up looks the worst. Like drama performance make-up every day or night. yuk.
+100
I’ve always been a fan of “less is best” when it comes to make-up and other plastic options. I was in love and attracted to my wife for her heart and the way she treated me, more so than anything. I was just fortunate that she was a “hottie”...
L_S
Anonymous wrote:I have two sons and found dating men with no kids to be much less complicated for obvious reasons (scheduling being primary among them).
After two years of screening for single dads, I took a chance on guy with no kids who looked great "on paper." He is fantastic - including being extremely kid friendly and understanding - flexible and available, and we've been happily together for three years. You never know.
We ARE less complicated and more understanding than many would like to think or give us credit for... Again, single moms and their kids come as a package. You have to be patient and learn balance as getting frustrated helps nothing... If you can’t work it out in the short-term, you have NO chance long-term...
L_S
Anonymous wrote:The right man doesn't care. My now husband knew my one night off a week and that was always our date night. [/quote
Completely agree... Widowed man (4+ years) sans kids here... Most of the ladies I've been out with have kids as is quite common in the DC area. My experience is if you enjoy each other and want to spend time together, you find a way to do it. I dated a lady for 9+ months and spent a lot of time with her and the kids (movies, ballgames, water parks, etc). She was a blast to be around and her kids were a pleasure to be around as well. I hated to end it on many fronts as she is a great lady... My goal is to find a partner/teammate and odds are she will have kids. BL- they're package and I am more than prepared to accept such, knowing full well that her kids are first and I'm second...
PS - The reason we broke up was over finances (hers)...
L_S
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm a 41 year old divorced woman, and I think I'm going to have a rude awakening when I jump back into dating. I'm used to getting busy after an exclusive monogamous relationship so after 3-4 months of about once a week or every other week dates.
There's a lid for every pot. Definitely you will find men who want to wait, there is even a thread on guy who doesn't want to have sex with his girl because too early
Completely agree... Early 50s MAN here, widowed for ~4 years and I'm not a fan of one-night stands. Granted, I was married for ~16 years and enjoy monogamy and looking for a LTR. Sure, I'm likely in the super minority and some posters will want me to hand over my "man card"; however, I'm looking for quality over quantity...
L_S
Approximately four months ago, I was working in the Pentagon one day (civilian) when my division received a tasking for volunteers needed to support existing military operations in Afghanistan. Being the only single guy in my office, I raised my hand. Having been in country for ~ three months, let me share I'm truly amazed at the level of support from strangers supporting the troops in country. My front office receives no less than 2-3 boxes a week from various people that have either lost loved ones in Afghanistan or had someone stationed here and still wants to show their support. One lady, in particular, sends 2 big boxes a month full of homemade cookies and other treats. Looking at what all she sends each month, I can't imagine the cost associated with such. My staff tells me she's been doing this for years as she lost her only son in Herat as this is how she copes. Since the DC/NoVA/MD area has a heavy MIL presence, I would ask if any of you know of someone that supports personnel in theater, just tell them "thank you" as their acts of kindness help tremendously. I see the looks in the eyes of my staff when they're calling home to talk to their kids or parents as you find yourself yearning for any normalcy as nothing here is normal.
One last comment - be thankful for you have as it could be gone in an instant. I know this all too well as I lost my wife of 16 years to cancer. You loved your spouse at some point; focus on each other's strengths and minimize each other's weaknesses. None of us are perfect and all of us are capable of forgiveness at some level...
Thank you and Merry Christmas to all,
L_S
PS - Before I get slammed and spammed, let me apologize as I'm sure there are better venues to share such; however, this is one of the few sites that I read with any degree of regularity. And no, I do not have a Facebook account for a variety of reasons.
One last comment - be thankful for you have as it could be gone in an instant. I know this all too well as I lost my wife of 16 years to cancer. You loved your spouse at some point; focus on each other's strengths and minimize each other's weaknesses. None of us are perfect and all of us are capable of forgiveness at some level...
Thank you and Merry Christmas to all,
L_S
PS - Before I get slammed and spammed, let me apologize as I'm sure there are better venues to share such; however, this is one of the few sites that I read with any degree of regularity. And no, I do not have a Facebook account for a variety of reasons.
OP - I never called my wife a name other than a term of endearment.... You don’t speak to or of someone negatively that you love.
L_S
L_S
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. DH had cancer. It was very quick, barely 10 months from diagnosis to his death. I think the first two years after was just me trying to wrap my brain around the fact that it happened at all.
I don't think I talk too much about DH socially, or with DD. Mostly I try to reference him to let others (especially DD) know that I'm OK with him being talked about, that he's not a subject they need to avoid in my presence. For example when DD and I went skiing recently I told her she took after her dad, not me, because her balance is so good. I try to only refer to happy things and good memories, not put any lingering sadness onto other people. I wore my wedding ring for about a year after, but not since. I occasionally think of getting it made into something else but I can't quite bring myself to alter it. Maybe that is a red flag...
I've never heard of Carole Radziwill's book so will look it up, thanks!
OP: Widowed male here; ~three years and counting... Your post rings with such familiarity that I had to respond. Let me digress a bit...
The very first trip that I took sans loving wife was on a week-long ski trip to Park City with a group of single guys. I'm a good skier and had an okay time; however, was far from ready for anything like that. Of course, I didn't realize such until it was too late as I just wasn't in the mindset for that type of "hard-partying" atmosphere; ~200+ single skiers in Park City for a week. You get the picture...
You mention the ring... I still have my wife's ring and to this day, I truly have no idea what I will do with it. We had no children together; however, she had a son from a previous marriage and of course, he asked for his mother's ring as he wants to get engaged and said that he didn't have enough money to purchase a ring himself. I politely said "no" as I would like that ring to stay in the family and I further stated, if he didn't have enough money for an engagement ring, then he had no business getting married. He's 30 y/o going on 22 y/o and didn't get my point(s). I really think he was just looking for an easy way out, which is rather common with that generation (IMO)...
For me, the most challenging thing thus far about the loss of my lovely bride is learning how to be a single person again, not easily done being married to your best friend for 16+ years. Keep your chin up as it does get easier. There are set-backs (too numerous to count) but you have to pick yourself up and move on.
LS
Anonymous wrote:Female attorneys, has being an attorney been a liability to getting dates? Has it been a big turn off to a particular demographic of men?
OP - Concur with others. Personally, I've dated a couple of attorneys in the DC area and I tend to like their "non-sense", no-BS approach. One of the ladies was certainly warmer and more congenial than the other. As a dissenting option, I think it's personality driven versus profession. Maybe I'm an anomaly;however, I like women with brains. If I'm wrong, I want to be told such.
LS
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DCUm, tell me how is the dating scene in NOVA for a 40yr old divorced mom? I'm separated, haven't dated in years (duh!) so I have no idea how it is to meet a nice man in this area.
Your personality will dictate about 70% of success, overall attitude and expectations about 15%, looks about 15%.
+1 Completely concur!! A great personality and attitude are #1 in my book. What goods are looks if you can't communicate or have little to no chemistry. Great advice from a PP on the approach to dating - "treat it as a marathon, not a sprint!!"
LS
Anonymous wrote:DH's requests always come in the form of demands- "go do ABC" or "why don't you XYZ". Sometimes it's a reasonable request, sometimes I'm in the middle of something else and he's capable of doing it himself. Even in those situations I'd be happy to do it if he would just ask nicely and say please. But he refuses to; I can't even remember the last time he said please and thank you. If I ask him to say please he gets very upset- "OH my GOD, it's JUST XYZ!!"
Do you still say please and thank you to your spouse or do you think it's unnecessary in marriage?
OP - We are all a "by-products of our environment". Further, our parents are most often our first role-models for relationships, good or bad. BL - your kids are watching and listening to the interaction of both of you and are taking notes. Do you not remember things like this from your parents when you were younger?
To answer your question, I was raised in the South where I was taught that basic courtesies were to be extended to everyone, all of the time. If your husband treats you like an indentured servant, he needs to wake up as it really just comes down to respect for your DH/DW...
LS