Do you still say please and thank you?

[Anonymous]

DH's requests always come in the form of demands- "go do ABC" or "why don't you XYZ". Sometimes it's a reasonable request, sometimes I'm in the middle of something else and he's capable of doing it himself. Even in those situations I'd be happy to do it if he would just ask nicely and say please. But he refuses to; I can't even remember the last time he said please and thank you. If I ask him to say please he gets very upset- "OH my GOD, it's JUST XYZ!!"

Do you still say please and thank you to your spouse or do you think it's unnecessary in marriage?

[Anonymous]

I certainly try to, and so does DH. Courtesy doesn't stop just 'cause you're legally hitched.

[Anonymous]

I always say please, thank you, and I'm sorry.

I'd like to think it's my Midwestern roots.

[Anonymous]

Of course! I spent years teaching my children to say please and thank you so it is deeply engrained. When you say please and thank you most people get a bit nicer. Your DH is an ass.

[Anonymous]

DH and I use please, thank you, I'm sorry, the whole lot. It's a small but important gesture.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. It's very important.

[Anonymous]

Another guy here. I too think it's very important.

[Anonymous]

My DH still thanks me for making dinner every night after we eat. He has no idea how much that means to me; it's one of the small, little ways I knows he cares for me. I thin these kindnesses are the things that help people fall in love with their spouse again and again.

[Anonymous]

yes we still say it .

[Anonymous]

Yeah, although to be honest I say it more than my husband does. But even when he doesn't, his tone is nice.

But when the issue has come up, I've told him I'm happy to do almost anything he asks, vs. how much I bristle at being "told." Delivery is so important.

It might help to have that conversation at a different time -- not right when he demands something of you.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Also a Midwesterner.

[Anonymous]

Of course, I do. He deserves to be treated with respect and our children deserve to see us treating one another with respect.

My pet peeve is my ILs, who don't say please to the waitstaff in restaurants.

(I am a DC native, so it's not just midwesterners.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another guy here. I too think it's very important.

+2

[Anonymous]

DW and I do, as do our 13 and 10-year old children. They also say ma'am and sir.

[Anonymous]

Always. I figure it makes up for not saying ma'm and sir, which sounds so Texas.