Anonymous wrote:You still haven’t said what term you’d prefer he used.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every definition you see, no matter where you look it up says:
Female genitals
Some definitions stop there. Others mention vulgarity and negative connotations. I don't understand why it is much more offensive than c**k, d**k, PR**k, c***sucker, motherf***er, etc

To use the above example, prick (and d**k) have mostly negative connotations other than their association to the male genitals. I find neither offensive. If a woman asked my to show her my prick so she could taste it, I wouldn't hesitate. I'd be grateful, not offended. So when her boyfriend tells her how great her female genitals taste, he's complimenting her and not using the word in a negative manner. Aren't we grown enough to understand the two meanings and differentiate between them?

Language is not always clear cut. The way it evolves is not necessarily entirely logical. Why is f-g a terrible pajorative while 'qu--r' became a rallying cry and mostly acceptable? There is no logical reason behind that. Why is the n word unspeakable but 'ghetto' still semi on the table? Words evolve to have subtext over generations and different levels of acceptability.

People form opinions to words based on how they encounter them over the course of their life. In America, the c word is a BAD word. It is worse than b--ch. You know that because people aren't throwing the c word around in movies. And generally we accept that just like f-g has a different meaning in the UK, the c word does to. A nuance of language.

It doesn't matter if it makes sense to you because if you start walking around calling women c-words you're going to face some pretty dramatic social consequences. And clearly you would probably turn off american sexual partners. Do with that what you will.

OP as others have said, tell him about it. See what he says, determine your course of action based on his reaction.

Anonymous wrote:C@#! has a more sinister/hateful connotation in the U.S.

I don't personally have an issue with it's use, and have been known to say it when the occasion calls for it (though not in reference to genitalia! More to describe a truly horrible person.)

I think that is the issue, even as a woman, I admit I use this term to speak ill of other women. It is reserved for the worst of the worst, and people use it as ammo to hurt or shock someone. So unfortunately there is a bit of a Misogynist vibe when using the term in the U.S.- we use it to really gut someone .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every definition you see, no matter where you look it up says:
Female genitals
Some definitions stop there. Others mention vulgarity and negative connotations. I don't understand why it is much more offensive than c**k, d**k, PR**k, c***sucker, motherf***er, etc

To use the above example, prick (and d**k) have mostly negative connotations other than their association to the male genitals. I find neither offensive. If a woman asked my to show her my prick so she could taste it, I wouldn't hesitate. I'd be grateful, not offended. So when her boyfriend tells her how great her female genitals taste, he's complimenting her and not using the word in a negative manner. Aren't we grown enough to understand the two meanings and differentiate between them?

Language is not always clear cut. The way it evolves is not necessarily entirely logical. Why is f-g a terrible pajorative while 'qu--r' became a rallying cry and mostly acceptable? There is no logical reason behind that. Why is the n word unspeakable but 'ghetto' still semi on the table? Words evolve to have subtext over generations and different levels of acceptability.

People form opinions to words based on how they encounter them over the course of their life. In America, the c word is a BAD word. It is worse than b--ch. You know that because people aren't throwing the c word around in movies. And generally we accept that just like f-g has a different meaning in the UK, the c word does to. A nuance of language.

It doesn't matter if it makes sense to you because if you start walking around calling women c-words you're going to face some pretty dramatic social consequences. And clearly you would probably turn off american sexual partners. Do with that what you will.

OP as others have said, tell him about it. See what he says, determine your course of action based on his reaction.

Thank you for the thoughtful, reasoned reply. I think I'm reacting to some of what you discussed in your reply. Society has become far less tolerant and far too judgmental. It seems no one can speak without someone getting offended. Some people are reacting strongly to this. I believe it's what burdened us with the embarrassment that currently resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Av. Something as simple as wishing someone a Merry Christmas is offensive to some. Why? Because they don't celebrate Christmas? So what? This person was trying to be kind and wish you well, not offend you. If you sneeze and someone says "god bless you", is that offensive? Should we not say it to a stranger for fear someone doesn't believe in god? I don't believe in god, yet I say it all the time.
For the record, I understand how the "c" word is viewed by women and I respect it because that is how I was raised. What I'm trying to understand is the thought behind why it is so offensive. Personally, I would never use terms like gash or slit because I think they are crass and degrading. I know the "c" word is viewed that way and has been for some time. I just don't understand when it occurred or why.

Anonymous wrote:Have you told him you don't like it? Have you asked him to stop?

Do so, now. You'll find out how much he respects you and likes you by his actions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every definition you see, no matter where you look it up says:
Female genitals
Some definitions stop there. Others mention vulgarity and negative connotations. I don't understand why it is much more offensive than c**k, d**k, PR**k, c***sucker, motherf***er, etc

To use the above example, prick (and d**k) have mostly negative connotations other than their association to the male genitals. I find neither offensive. If a woman asked my to show her my prick so she could taste it, I wouldn't hesitate. I'd be grateful, not offended. So when her boyfriend tells her how great her female genitals taste, he's complimenting her and not using the word in a negative manner. Aren't we grown enough to understand the two meanings and differentiate between them?

Language is not always clear cut. The way it evolves is not necessarily entirely logical. Why is f-g a terrible pajorative while 'qu--r' became a rallying cry and mostly acceptable? There is no logical reason behind that. Why is the n word unspeakable but 'ghetto' still semi on the table? Words evolve to have subtext over generations and different levels of acceptability.

People form opinions to words based on how they encounter them over the course of their life. In America, the c word is a BAD word. It is worse than b--ch. You know that because people aren't throwing the c word around in movies. And generally we accept that just like f-g has a different meaning in the UK, the c word does to. A nuance of language.

It doesn't matter if it makes sense to you because if you start walking around calling women c-words you're going to face some pretty dramatic social consequences. And clearly you would probably turn off american sexual partners. Do with that what you will.

OP as others have said, tell him about it. See what he says, determine your course of action based on his reaction.

Thank you for the thoughtful, reasoned reply. I think I'm reacting to some of what you discussed in your reply. Society has become far less tolerant and far too judgmental. It seems no one can speak without someone getting offended. Some people are reacting strongly to this. I believe it's what burdened us with the embarrassment that currently resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Av. Something as simple as wishing someone a Merry Christmas is offensive to some. Why? Because they don't celebrate Christmas? So what? This person was trying to be kind and wish you well, not offend you. If you sneeze and someone says "god bless you", is that offensive? Should we not say it to a stranger for fear someone doesn't believe in god? I don't believe in god, yet I say it all the time.
For the record, I understand how the "c" word is viewed by women and I respect it because that is how I was raised. What I'm trying to understand is the thought behind why it is so offensive. Personally, I would never use terms like gash or slit because I think they are crass and degrading. I know the "c" word is viewed that way and has been for some time. I just don't understand when it occurred or why.

You're all on board for c you next Tuesday but are annoyed by happy holidays?? Hahaha that's a lot of cognitive dissonance. I would say that I've actually never met anyone in real life who was offended by Merry Christmas or God Bless you. Ever. And im a super lefty person with super lefty friends.

I have seen a lot of people disregard the thoughts and preferences of women in the last few years though. It seems strange to make c-nt your politically correct hill to die on.