Self fulfilling prophecy?
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Anonymous
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DH overuses the b-word. He calls me it all the time
I realized that I'm starting to become one so now he's escalated it to mean b-word. I've tried to explain that he's making me into a mean b-word by calling me it. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. He says that's impossible. But I feel that's the reason. Has anyone heard of someone turning mean because their spouse calls them mean? If he just called me nice things, I'd become nicer. He says that's not true. Can someone back me up here? |
Anonymous
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Sure can.
Your husband is a disrespectful jerk who is so immature that he refuses to take any accountability for his horrible behavior toward you. He thinks nothing wrong of calling you derogatory monikers. Sure.... Sooner or later you will start being what he thinks you are. Who wouldn’t?? You might as well since that is what he thinks you are anyway. I know that I would. |
Anonymous
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Sure, people often live up, or down, to expectations.
Why are you with this pathetic loser again exactly? |
Lonely_Sojourner
Member Offline
Member Offline
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OP - I never called my wife a name other than a term of endearment.... You don’t speak to or of someone negatively that you love.
L_S |
Anonymous
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I honestly cannot imagine being with someone who'd routinely call me a bitch. The word should be taken off the table. You don't need to have this elaborate reasoning for it. It's just unacceptable. |
Anonymous
| How's the sex? |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
+1. This is verbal abuse. And emotional abuse, because he is dismissing your feelings about it. This is a classic cycle. And it escalates the conflict. He could be trying to make you out to look like a crazy person. Google "crazy maker." |
Anonymous
| The guy who calls you a b$&*h is the guy who will eventually punch you in the face. |
Anonymous
Why don't you start calling him a__hole? Hey a__hole, please take out the garbage? Hey a__hole, can you drop the kids off? See if he still thinks it's "impossible" for a spouse to be mean when he/she is disrespected. |
Anonymous
| You seem kind of bitchy. |
Anonymous
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DH is going to try a 2-month no b-word trial run and if I get nicer, he said he'll extend it so here's hoping that the reverse is true and I will become nicer when he stops calling me a b-word.
Everything else is fine but he is just an unemotional/immature guy who doesn't have a lot of empathy in general -- not even for our kids when they get hurt or have a bad day and just doesn't understand why I'm so upset over this word. I do think this willi lead to a better family life and I don't think I can leave him for calling me a b-word. I think I'd need a little more reason to break up our family altho I do wish I had the husband who only used terms of endearment. Where was he 7 years ago? |
Anonymous
Like I said, I'm totally becoming one! It's true! I'm the first to admit that 7 years of being called a b-word has totally made me into one. |
Anonymous
What the heck? He'll stop calling you it and if you're nice then he'll continue to not call you it? He just shouldn't call you a bitch in the first place. |
Anonymous
| Can’t imagine why you would stay with a verbally abusive, unkind man. Setting a bad example for children if they are in the picture. Get some self esteem, stop allowing him to denigrate you. Start making plans for a better life for yourself - have an escape plan if needed and sock some money away. Consult a counselor for yourself to figure out why you allow him to treat you so badly. |