Message
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.
+1
53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...
L_S
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are interested in a relationship, it might be more helpful if you relax your attitude about what men want when you are looking on the Internet.
OP here. I am not looking for a normal relationship. I'd like a part-time relationship but I am never getting married again. I don't want to waste time with people who really want kids because then I would be wasting their time. I have no problem spending time with younger men...I just don't want someone who wants kids, and it is confusing if younger men are being truthful or not.
OP: Just because you don't want to marry again or have kids doesn't mean that what you are seeking is all that unusual. There are many of us on this site looking for what you have described. Just communicate your desires and relationship goals and let the chips fall where they may...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Disagree. I've been divorced for about 4 years and have found my biggest problem is that no one wants to just date without a purpose. That is, I'm a single mom and would love to find a single dad who is down for a relationship where we spend our free time together but have no intention of combining our lives whole our kids are still at home. Exclusive, companionship, etc. But no need for marriage. Most men seem to either want just a ONS or they want to get married tomorrow. I'm 42. Btw.
I'm a divorced dad and that's exactly what I'm after. We're out there, keep trying!
I'm early 50's, widowed with no kids and completely agree with the PP. I have dated several ladies with kids and fully understand the commitments required and I'm not looking to get married. There is something to be said to just going out for a nice dinner over a glass of wine or two and going home, no pressure. The "Art of Conversation" is not lost. BL - We're here...
+1
Same, same as we are here. I'm early 50's, sans kids and not looking to combine households. Further, I also enjoy a nice dinner w/ no pressure. Being from the South and an extrovert (ENTJ), I also enjoy just talking and getting to know each other.
Anonymous wrote:What about a corset? Is that sexy or going too bdsm?
Perhaps not a corset; however, a classy bustie'? My wife would sometimes wear them when we would go out on the town with a short skirt/blazer... A rather sexy look and V.E.R.Y. easy to access on the way home... (miss those days...)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s not even a refusal to pay- it’s more that they actually can’t afford it. Then I’m faced the dilemma of paying for it or else not doing the things I want to do and can afford. That’s the pickle, as I have it, as a woman.
Of course, wealthy men have this pickle too. You'd rather be alone than share your resources. Funny, as women are supposed to be the more social / empathetic gender.
Anyways, your problems are easily solvable, so if you don't then that's on you.
No. But dating is a process and I don’t want to squander my resources on people who are temporary placeholders in my life. That’s one of the reasons I’ll always have money.
Funny that you’d cast me as lacking empathy. If I showered expensive trips on men you’d say I was insecure or foolish. That’s the pickle women face.
Again, I completely agree with you. I am as generous as they come; however, there are limits to my generosity. One-sided aspects in any relationship are always a source of strain be it: sex, housecleaning, finances, etc. Further, there is something to be said for reciprocity (in any form). The same lady I took to Thailand resented the fact that I have a housekeeper. She always held it against me that I was wasting my money. To me, it wasn't a waste of money as the housekeeper provides value in that she does things around the house that I do not care to do.
Anonymous wrote:It’s not even a refusal to pay- it’s more that they actually can’t afford it. Then I’m faced the dilemma of paying for it or else not doing the things I want to do and can afford. That’s the pickle, as I have it, as a woman.
I can totally relate... I took a two-week trip to Thailand last year and the lady I was dating at the time had limited resources, so I made her a deal as she was a blast to be with. The deal: she pay her own airfare (~$750) and I would pay for everything else (food, booze, entertainment, etc). Further, I stated that I'd take payments as this was 2-3 months away. We broke up three months after returning and I never got reimbursed. I never brought it up...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a ton of respect for men who can’t meet me as even a semi equal in terms of what options we have available to us.
So you have contempt for people who aren’t wealthy. Eww.
Not at all. Is it possible that over time I could have contempt for a man who doesn’t have the drive or intelligence I do? Sure. Is it likely that yet another weekend of me paying for everything would turn me off, over time? Yes. Is it likely my “things” intimidate and scare off good men- absolutely. It’s not a one way street.
I would never judge someone for not having family wealth or for not being a high earner. I also am not naive enough to believe that people with wildly different concepts of money/finances/culture will be equally matched. It’s not impossible but it is unlikely.
I agree with you as I tend to enjoy the finer things in life (2-3 intl trips a year, sailing, etc) and it does impact feelings when the person you're with refuses to pay simply because I have more, made better financial decisions, worked harder, etc. I did not come from a wealthy family; however, was fortunate that my wife and I worked as a team on all financial decisions. We're were both financial types, so it was rather easy. Being widowed for ~5 years, dating is tough as discussions surrounding finances have to be conducted in advance of various activities...
Anonymous wrote:For those who say you don't see the point.... do you not wear a bra and underwear most days? So instead of buying the plain nude bra, why not buy a pretty one? That's my mindset. Pretty much all of my bras and underwear are "pretty" at the least. Even my nude bras have lace or some see through mesh... something. Never a plain bra. It feels pretty good wearing something cute or sexy under my clothes everyday, even if no one sees it. And maybe your partner only sees it for a few seconds, but if you're wearing it anyway, why not make those few seconds a bit enjoyable?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a true winner! I loved catching glimpses of my wife as to what she was wearing underneath as it gave some insight as to what would perhaps transpire later...
Anonymous wrote:So I get looking elegant, classy, and sexy...
But aren't there times you also want to look like a porn star?
My preference is a classy/elegant look and "act" like a porn star (at times...)
Anonymous wrote:play tennis
I play tennis and it's not as popular for singles as you may think... In fairness, I live in the 'burbs (Burke). Skiiing is far better...
Anonymous wrote:Op here - I should add - his doctor told him to lose weight. ANd he has high cholesterol that he does not want to medicate. I understand not wanting to take statins, but if that is the case, you need to lose weight and exercise in order to get your cholestrol down. THis isnt just me being superficial.
OP - question... Are you using the weight gain as an excuse to "split the sheets"... Reading between the lines, it seems there could be other relationship factors at play that have been omitted from the original post...
Anonymous wrote:Man here. Let him know the weight is leading to less passion and desire for sex.
Give him a number, a target weight, and hold out the promise of something special if he reaches and maintains it.
Chances are he'll be motivated to hit it.
+100
Completely agree, he needs to know as it will only get worse if you don't hold him accountable now. Perhaps you could use various bedroom activities to incentivize him to shape up?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am returning to the dating scene after some years of marriage. Do men expect women to be wearing sexy lingerie if a good date leads to some intimacy?
Me again. I just ordered several sets of lingerie and other sexy accoutrements based on several of the recommendations here. Thank you for the suggestions previous posters. Now if only that attractive guy at the gym can work up the desire and/or courage to ask me out, I can put them to good use.
What did you get?
I will keep that a private surprise for the lucky man I form a connection with. He will not be disappointed.
A rather classy response. I wish you the best with your endeavor.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am returning to the dating scene after some years of marriage. Do men expect women to be wearing sexy lingerie if a good date leads to some intimacy?
Me again. I just ordered several sets of lingerie and other sexy accoutrements based on several of the recommendations here. Thank you for the suggestions previous posters. Now if only that attractive guy at the gym can work up the desire and/or courage to ask me out, I can put them to good use.
What did you get?
Yes, please share...
Anonymous wrote:I am recently divorced. I am not ready for a relationship, let alone sex. But I would like to meet people (my social circle pretty much collapsed in the last few years, and all my friends are still married) and enjoy some good company. I'm really out of the habit of being social and chatty. What's a good way to get back into that?
Yes, there's a part of me that's thinking of them as "practice dates". But I don't want them to be real dates.
Any success?