Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

+1

I would strongly disagree after reading posts from men on here, for years. All my guys friends who are single are as happy as can be.

Facts are facts even when you disagree.

They aren’t facts until you back them up with proof.

Otherwise, you’re just blowing smoke out of your a**.

Guess you all didn't "do the math." They're obviously saying the married men are sleeping with the single women. Geesh. Keep up, people!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went down the list of current posts in this forum. Page after page of dysfunctional marriages, unhappy parents, and selfish idiots. Yet it's the people who wisely opt out of settling for a hot mess who are undesirable. Okay.

Why Why WHY is the burden always on the mother?!
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920467.page

Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919989.page

If your spouse has mental health issues that are not fully controlled
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915424.page

I need a break
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920347.page

Anyone have a DH that’s just combative all the time?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920420.page

Husband insisted on having dinner at in-laws even though I was unwell
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920414.page

s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919372.page

Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919612.page

PP, you're clearly committed to this thread. It's a shame you can't transfer such focus and commitment toward something meaningful and productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One poster here seems really freaked out by brunches.

10 years of bottomless mimosas and bellinis, traveling, shoes, hookups with random men, and those $10K and $20K salary bumps from promotions*, were *so* worth it! Kids during peak fertility? What am I, some Bible-thumping hick? As if!

*spent on IVF

Ten years of shoes? I've been wearing shoes for 40 years now. I highly recommend.

[Anonymous]

Totally depends. There are weird people in their 30s not in relationships and their are total losers who married really young as it was VERY apparent they weren't going to have better options on the open market after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally depends. There are weird people in their 30s not in relationships and their are total losers who married really young as it was VERY apparent they weren't going to have better options on the open market after college.

*there

[Anonymous]

Dating in mid late 30s is difficult due to the high concentration of left overs and undateable singles, coupled with the inability to compromise. Dating in 40 and 50s is worse, due to divorced men in midlife crisis and serial womanizers, teenage kids and mental health issues.

Never married over 40 or divorced more than twice are a red flag. I have several never married over 40 relatives and all of them are weirdos.

[Anonymous]

Lots of married folks just cover each others weirdness but once you pull back the covers, lots of married people are f*cked up. I know several couples with serious drug addictions and serial cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but a lot of divorced moms in their 30s like to pretend they're somehow better off.

If only I had stayed with my alcoholic cheating spouse. Oh, woe is me.

That's on you, why did you get married to begin with

Are you on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of married folks just cover each others weirdness

This is definitely true for me. I've told my wife that if we ever got divorced she'd be fine, but I'm pretty much screwed. No one else is going to tolerate me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truly undesirable settle for what they can get. There are a lot of unattractive and unpleasant people in marriages and long-term relationships. There is a subset of people who are single by circumstance and not because of any personal dealbreaker flaws, and they probably would have lots of options in a different city or among a different social group. People who remain single by choice are some of the best catches out there.

This times 1000.

Y'all act like every married person on the planet is completely emotionally healthy and issue free. Hate to break it to you, but undesirables exist all over, married, single, whatever. Some of the most screwed up, emotionally challenged people I know are married. Like my friend who called me this weekend who told me she was seriously considering getting a divorce because her husband only make $175k a year and could be making more and she doesn't want to be tied to that long term. Or my engaged friend who was so hopelessly, miserably sad and lonely he proposed to the first girl that came around who was single and also liked dogs and is now cutting her off from all her friends and non-relationship activities because he wants them to do everything together ALL the time.

Some things just happen, and not because you are a bad person or have issues or anything. Life circumstances, timing, luck, not wanting to settle for meh just to be married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of married folks just cover each others weirdness

This is definitely true for me. I've told my wife that if we ever got divorced she'd be fine, but I'm pretty much screwed. No one else is going to tolerate me.

Do you share in the housework?

Do you stay in shape?

Do you have a reasonably active libido?

If the answer to the above is YES, you'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of married folks just cover each others weirdness

This is definitely true for me. I've told my wife that if we ever got divorced she'd be fine, but I'm pretty much screwed. No one else is going to tolerate me.

Do you share in the housework?

Do you stay in shape?

Do you have a reasonably active libido?

If the answer to the above is YES, you'll be fine.

Do you share in the housework? Yep

Do you stay in shape?Above average for my age

Do you have a reasonably active libido?Not to her level, but I'm good to go at least 2-3 times a week

I am just a quirky person. Not many women truly get me. I'd probably be able to manage snagging a woman here or there into short-term relationships, but no way I convince any of them to stick around. Then again I probably wouldn't want that. My wife is the only woman I've met that I ever thought about spending my life with and I knew that the minute I met her so I plan to keep her around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do all the heathy well adjusted attractive people really just find themselves in marriages by their late twenties? All that are left are the weird losers?

No, I consider them smart😀 I married at 25, now 40, and a totally different person than I was then. All things being equal, I would never marry this man today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think getting married at 27 (the summer before my last year of law school) to my boyfriend who was 30 at the time and was long done with grad school and had spent many years doing things like climbing Kilimanjaro was perfect. We both “knew ourselves” and spent the next few years traveling, going out, etc. I had a fun and carefree early to late 20s and don’t feel like I missed out on any of the fun dating scene - did lots of that

It’s so odd that DCUM always makes it out to be that the choices are you got married at 22 with barely a GED or waiting until you are 38 with a PhD and zero eggs remaining. There is middle ground!

But I do agree they by early 30s, if you aren’t married or in a committed relationship there is generally something going on with you.

You had to settle for a man over 30?

DP, but she was 27, so only 3 years younger than her now husband. It's not like she had to marry some much older guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went down the list of current posts in this forum. Page after page of dysfunctional marriages, unhappy parents, and selfish idiots. Yet it's the people who wisely opt out of settling for a hot mess who are undesirable. Okay.

Why Why WHY is the burden always on the mother?!
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920467.page

Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919989.page

If your spouse has mental health issues that are not fully controlled
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915424.page

I need a break
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920347.page

Anyone have a DH that’s just combative all the time?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920420.page

Husband insisted on having dinner at in-laws even though I was unwell
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920414.page

s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919372.page

Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919612.page

PP, you're clearly committed to this thread. It's a shame you can't transfer such focus and commitment toward something meaningful and productive.

PP, I make money while I sleep. That is meaningful and productive. You don’t know who I am or how I focus my time, so stop with the insults.