Husband insisted on having dinner at in-laws even though I was unwell

[Anonymous]

I’m feeling unwell and my husband insisted we stay for dinner at in laws

SIL, her fiancé, MIL, FIL and I went to a winery this afternoon. It was a nice day but my wrist and arm have been hurting this week. Around 5 we all head back to MILs. SIL and fiancé say they’re heading back and take the stew MIL is making with them. Meanwhile MIL asks me if she can pack ours too. I say yes, thank you.

Meanwhile DH walks in and says wait we’r having dinner here. I say erm ok but my arm hurts and I’d rather go home and be comfortable. MIL says ok I’ll pack it up for you. DH insists that no we’re staying for dinner as MIL worked so hard and would be heart broken so we stay.

I’m hurt that he wouldn’t take my discomfort into consideration

[Anonymous]

Can lift a wine glass just fine all day but can't eat a meal.

[Anonymous]

Really? Suck it up. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Learn to be assertive and take action.

[Anonymous]

Is there a question here? What are you hoping to gain by posting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m feeling unwell and my husband insisted we stay for dinner at in laws

SIL, her fiancé, MIL, FIL and I went to a winery this afternoon. It was a nice day but my wrist and arm have been hurting this week. Around 5 we all head back to MILs. SIL and fiancé say they’re heading back and take the stew MIL is making with them. Meanwhile MIL asks me if she can pack ours too. I say yes, thank you.

Meanwhile DH walks in and says wait we’r having dinner here. I say erm ok but my arm hurts and I’d rather go home and be comfortable. MIL says ok I’ll pack it up for you. DH insists that no we’re staying for dinner as MIL worked so hard and would be heart broken so we stay.

I’m hurt that he wouldn’t take my discomfort into consideration

I agree with your husband actually. Your MIL prepared a meal, one couple already left with the meal instead of staying, your husband didn’t want to then also leave. It would have been hurtful to your MIL even if she never said a word to convey her hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m feeling unwell and my husband insisted we stay for dinner at in laws

SIL, her fiancé, MIL, FIL and I went to a winery this afternoon. It was a nice day but my wrist and arm have been hurting this week. Around 5 we all head back to MILs. SIL and fiancé say they’re heading back and take the stew MIL is making with them. Meanwhile MIL asks me if she can pack ours too. I say yes, thank you.

Meanwhile DH walks in and says wait we’r having dinner here. I say erm ok but my arm hurts and I’d rather go home and be comfortable. MIL says ok I’ll pack it up for you. DH insists that no we’re staying for dinner as MIL worked so hard and would be heart broken so we stay.

I’m hurt that he wouldn’t take my discomfort into consideration

I agree with your husband actually. Your MIL prepared a meal, one couple already left with the meal instead of staying, your husband didn’t want to then also leave. It would have been hurtful to your MIL even if she never said a word to convey her hurt.

Not all MIL are emotionally immature as you.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP. You are rude. Grab an ice pack and stay.

[Anonymous]

You're the asshole, OP. Take an advil and enjoy a nice meal prepared by someone else for you.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like MIL wanted you out of the house.

You and your husband are both wrong for putting her on the spot like that . You should have decided earlier on if you were going or staying.

If you were in a lot of pain you should have said so, your statement was wishy washy.

If you don't want to obey your husband like a child stop acting like a little girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m feeling unwell and my husband insisted we stay for dinner at in laws

SIL, her fiancé, MIL, FIL and I went to a winery this afternoon. It was a nice day but my wrist and arm have been hurting this week. Around 5 we all head back to MILs. SIL and fiancé say they’re heading back and take the stew MIL is making with them. Meanwhile MIL asks me if she can pack ours too. I say yes, thank you.

Meanwhile DH walks in and says wait we’r having dinner here. I say erm ok but my arm hurts and I’d rather go home and be comfortable. MIL says ok I’ll pack it up for you. DH insists that no we’re staying for dinner as MIL worked so hard and would be heart broken so we stay.

I’m hurt that he wouldn’t take my discomfort into consideration

You are upset because he prioritized his mother's needs over those of yours his wife. Which is valid. However, you need to address that with him, and not DCUM.

[Anonymous]

You sound a lot like me - naturally timid/easy going, with an H that bowls you over every time.

You have to be assertive. Not “I’d rather go home” but “I need to get home”. If he refuses, get an Uber.

It sucks but some people are taught that they get their way all the time, and some (like us) are taught that you give up your own needs for others.

[Anonymous]

In a marriage, he should ask you first.

[Anonymous]

Well your arm hurt. It would have hurt at home too. It’s not like you had the flu and needed to be in bed. I would have just stayed to make MIL happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well your arm hurt. It would have hurt at home too. It’s not like you had the flu and needed to be in bed. I would have just stayed to make MIL happy.

Do you work? I assume you have requested FMLA until your wrist stops hurting.

It's not like you said you stumbled during the winery trip and fell on your wrist and ended up with a bad sprain and possible fracture. If you did, you should have said so. Although kinda sounds like your MIL had had a long day and really wanted to check out for the evening.