I need a break

[Anonymous]

My marriage is exploding and I’m overwhelmed. I’m going to therapy but do not want to discuss the situation with family and friends. My mother is pushy and calls/ reacts me frequently. Should I give her a heads up that I’m dealing with personal matters and need a break from communication so she doesn’t worry? Or do I just not answer my phone?

[Anonymous]

Are you safe? Why is it so dramatic?

It sounds like you need an outlet besides just therapy.

Do you have kids? Are they seeing all of this? Are you in the same house?

[Anonymous]

Yes. You need to tell your mom something.

If it’s headed towards divorce she is going to find out anyways.

[Anonymous]

Are you still in the same house?

[Anonymous]

Tell your mom that you love her, and appreciate her interest...but need some time to think/digest.

Very pointedly, make a request (such as I will call you again on Saturday and ask that you not expect to hear from me before then, unless there is a family emergency).

She will worry, but less than if she just could not reach you..with no explanation.

[Anonymous]

I think COVID gives you the perfect cover. Everyone is overwhelmed, whether from marriage issues, child care, health care, job issues, whatever. she doesn’t need the details. If you need space, just say “mom, I love you but I’m overwhelmed and what I need for me is space. I promise I’ll let you know if you can help.”

[Anonymous]

He found out?

[Anonymous]

Is this due to cheating? It wrecks and destroys and implodes marriages. It is socially isolating because you try to protect your children from the fact one parent is a deceitful, whore. Then, you are worried about your health and have to get an appointment for an STD panel, look up family law divorce lawyers, change your entire idea about how your life was going and realize a lot of the past was deception.

Yeah, mom, I can’t deal with talking right now.

I don’t know how people can do this. I just don’t. There is zero thought of the consequences and pain they inflict.

[Anonymous]

My husband’s mother keeps trying to check in with him after she found out he was cheating on me for 4 years. She was an awful mother. I cut off contact with her. I know she will text or call and act like everything is wonderful and not address the fact that he implored his life and family. She’s always been in denial her entire life. Just like now.

He has had very limited contact with her because he is realizing how f@ckec up his FOO was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s mother keeps trying to check in with him after she found out he was cheating on me for 4 years. She was an awful mother. I cut off contact with her. I know she will text or call and act like everything is wonderful and not address the fact that he implored his life and family. She’s always been in denial her entire life. Just like now.

He has had very limited contact with her because he is realizing how f@ckec up his FOO was.

*imploded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your mom that you love her, and appreciate her interest...but need some time to think/digest.

Very pointedly, make a request (such as I will call you again on Saturday and ask that you not expect to hear from me before then, unless there is a family emergency).

She will worry, but less than if she just could not reach you..with no explanation.

Yes, this.