Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:59 here and still not married. Thank. you. god.

what I am tired of is all the former boyfriends -- now married/divorced -- who call and want to reminisce and say "Why didn't we get married?" and I reply "Because I am leaving for Paris again next week and I want to be free to render-vous with Frenchmen."

I want to be you when I grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

+1

I would strongly disagree after reading posts from men on here, for years. All my guys friends who are single are as happy as can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men who let their wives do all the heavy lifting for running a household are happier than single men. Do the math.

FTFY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

+1

I would strongly disagree after reading posts from men on here, for years. All my guys friends who are single are as happy as can be.

Facts are facts even when you disagree.

[Anonymous]

I think getting married at 27 (the summer before my last year of law school) to my boyfriend who was 30 at the time and was long done with grad school and had spent many years doing things like climbing Kilimanjaro was perfect. We both “knew ourselves” and spent the next few years traveling, going out, etc. I had a fun and carefree early to late 20s and don’t feel like I missed out on any of the fun dating scene - did lots of that

It’s so odd that DCUM always makes it out to be that the choices are you got married at 22 with barely a GED or waiting until you are 38 with a PhD and zero eggs remaining. There is middle ground!

But I do agree they by early 30s, if you aren’t married or in a committed relationship there is generally something going on with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think getting married at 27 (the summer before my last year of law school) to my boyfriend who was 30 at the time and was long done with grad school and had spent many years doing things like climbing Kilimanjaro was perfect. We both “knew ourselves” and spent the next few years traveling, going out, etc. I had a fun and carefree early to late 20s and don’t feel like I missed out on any of the fun dating scene - did lots of that

It’s so odd that DCUM always makes it out to be that the choices are you got married at 22 with barely a GED or waiting until you are 38 with a PhD and zero eggs remaining. There is middle ground!

But I do agree they by early 30s, if you aren’t married or in a committed relationship there is generally something going on with you.

[Anonymous]

The truly undesirable settle for what they can get. There are a lot of unattractive and unpleasant people in marriages and long-term relationships. There is a subset of people who are single by circumstance and not because of any personal dealbreaker flaws, and they probably would have lots of options in a different city or among a different social group. People who remain single by choice are some of the best catches out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truly undesirable settle for what they can get. There are a lot of unattractive and unpleasant people in marriages and long-term relationships. There is a subset of people who are single by circumstance and not because of any personal dealbreaker flaws, and they probably would have lots of options in a different city or among a different social group. People who remain single by choice are some of the best catches out there.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think getting married at 27 (the summer before my last year of law school) to my boyfriend who was 30 at the time and was long done with grad school and had spent many years doing things like climbing Kilimanjaro was perfect. We both “knew ourselves” and spent the next few years traveling, going out, etc. I had a fun and carefree early to late 20s and don’t feel like I missed out on any of the fun dating scene - did lots of that

It’s so odd that DCUM always makes it out to be that the choices are you got married at 22 with barely a GED or waiting until you are 38 with a PhD and zero eggs remaining. There is middle ground!

But I do agree they by early 30s, if you aren’t married or in a committed relationship there is generally something going on with you.

No one here is advocating for getting married at 22 with a GED. Your "middle ground" position already is the position that people who are saying you don't need to spend your 20s single in order to enjoy or know yourself are taking. (By contrast, there *are* people who are saying that you shouldn't make any relationship/career/etc. decisions with fertility in mind, that your late 30s are a great time to get married, and that anyone who says otherwise must be a guy in his parent's basement.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think getting married at 27 (the summer before my last year of law school) to my boyfriend who was 30 at the time and was long done with grad school and had spent many years doing things like climbing Kilimanjaro was perfect. We both “knew ourselves” and spent the next few years traveling, going out, etc. I had a fun and carefree early to late 20s and don’t feel like I missed out on any of the fun dating scene - did lots of that

It’s so odd that DCUM always makes it out to be that the choices are you got married at 22 with barely a GED or waiting until you are 38 with a PhD and zero eggs remaining. There is middle ground!

But I do agree they by early 30s, if you aren’t married or in a committed relationship there is generally something going on with you.

You had to settle for a man over 30?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

+1

I would strongly disagree after reading posts from men on here, for years. All my guys friends who are single are as happy as can be.

Facts are facts even when you disagree.

I don’t agree that they are facts from what I’ve seen or heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truly undesirable settle for what they can get. There are a lot of unattractive and unpleasant people in marriages and long-term relationships. There is a subset of people who are single by circumstance and not because of any personal dealbreaker flaws, and they probably would have lots of options in a different city or among a different social group. People who remain single by choice are some of the best catches out there.

Thank you. Well said. It seems like people here get married to have kids. Some people don’t want kids, but according to people here, something is wrong with them because they aren’t married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

Single women are happier than married women. Married men are happier than single men. Do the math.

+1

I would strongly disagree after reading posts from men on here, for years. All my guys friends who are single are as happy as can be.

Facts are facts even when you disagree.

They aren’t facts until you back them up with proof.

Otherwise, you’re just blowing smoke out of your a**.