Hi @OP having lots of fights in the first year of your marriage is not the best but that doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is doomed. I guess you need to find out what the root cause of the problem is with your relationship. I suggest you have a serious discussion with your husband and find out if he's committed to working at your marriage. Marriage counseling might be beneficial for both of you going forward. Hope things change for the better in your marriage. All the best.

Hi I do think that your counselor is right, quantity and quality time is beneficial for any relationship and even more so in marriage. I understand your concerns regarding your children but both of you having a healthy and happy marriage is a major benefit for the children. Finding a compromise that works for everyone might be necessary in moving forward. All the best mama, you can do this!

Hi @OP I do think that parenting should be a team work and understand where you are coming from. Communicating is also vital in any relationship and necessary to be able to understand each other, so telling him your concerns about the dynamics of your family is normal in my opinion. If you feel you might not be able to articulate how you are feeling, then family therapy/counselling might be an option to consider.

I don't think there is anything wrong in wanting your children to have a close relationship with their dad and for him to be more involved in creating opportunities to bond with them. Hope things work out for the best for you and your family. Stay strong.

I think consistency is key to helping you establishing a sleep time routine for your daughter. Of course making sure there is nothing external that might be causing her distress is also important. At that age, testing the boundaries is normal but once they understand you are going to stick to bed time rules, they should soon adjust. All the best.

@OP I think in most families, sibling rivalry is normal and common. However it doesn't mean it should be tolerated especially if it becomes constant and marked with meanness. It might be helpful to look for a good opportunity to hold a family conference, if possible when not much fighting has occurred to speak to them about your concerns at the disrespectful way they treat each other. You night have to help them realize that there are sometimes negative consequences for the way people behave and their actions and that means also the way family members treat each other. Here is a fantastic resource https://bit.ly/2N9qQlT about how to deal with sibling rivalry. I hope you're able to get some insight from it. All the best.

Hi @OP I do empathize with you and I can understand how frustrating it must be for you. Is there any way you can have a serious discussion with him as to how his inability to follow through on is gift giving is affecting you. It might be he doesn't think it's such a big deal. However letting him understand how it makes you really feel, might trigger his emotions and cause him to be more aware of how his actions or non action affect you. You do sound like quite a patient wife and I think you deserve a star in my opinion .

Hi @OP I think it will be beneficial to have a serious discussion with your DH about sharing the parenting tasks for your son. Good communication is vital for any relationship, so I suggest you keep talking and finding ways to work as a team. All the best.

Hi @OP it is sad and unfortunate what you are having to experience in your marriage. You have obviously endured a lot in the hope that your husband will change his ways but it doesn't seem like the situation is getting any better. As others have suggested, you do need to consider getting professional help for yourself and your children and also if possible for your husband as well.

Finding the help you need doesn't mean you have to give up on your marriage but it is to enable you to be in a stronger and safer place emotionally to make the right decisions for you and your children and to help support your husband in getting help for himself. Is there anyone in the family that both you and your husband trust and respect that you can talk to about this situation and who might be able to counsel your husband? Also can you look for a time that your husband is sober enough to have a serious discussion with him as to the damage he is doing to your family.

Alcoholism has been described as a debilitating condition for which there is treatment although it can be tough getting a loved one to seek help. I do want to encourage you to be strong and know that lots of people have been able to overcome alcohol addiction and go on to turn their lives around for the better.
There are some fantastic resources available on here https://bit.ly/2yiuHtf that will give you some insight on how to go forward. My hope is that you and your family can be part of the success stories of overcoming a very difficult situation. Wish you all the best.

Hi @OP, I can understand and empathize at how frustrating this situation is for you and your family. I used to say how I wished children came with an instruction manual tied to their wrist when they were born because sometimes it can be hard to know exactly what to do. I would suggest that you continue to be consistent with the necessary discipline you feel is required, coupled with lots of affirmation and loving hugs when he is not acting up. The other aspect that might be beneficial for you to consider is professional help to help you assess if there is something you are overlooking, sometimes it might be something as simple as changing his diet or on the other far side treatment for a behavior disorder. Either way, know that you are doing all you can to be the best mom you can be to these precious children. Praying for wisdom and strength for you as you navigate this parenting phase.

Hi @OP I don't think this is a feasible way to live long term. From what you've expressed, the chances that you could become quite resentful over time seems high and this will prove unhealthy for your relationship. Is it possible to find a way to seriously discuss with your DH how the current set up is negatively affecting you. Marriage does involve compromise however both spouses have to be willing to be considerate of each other and work together. I'm not sure if this situation is spilling to other parts of your relationship but if this starts to happen then maybe you should consider marriage counselling. It's sometimes easier to address a problem early on than let it fester and become a much bigger problem Hope things get better for you , all the best.

Hi @OP, I think as women we have an instinct when things are out of sync. Normal for someone else's marriage might not necessarily be healthy for your marriage and communicating your feelings to your husband and vice versa is part of a good marriage in my opinion. My husband and I decided we needed healthy safeguards and boundaries to protect our marriage and this included not having private conversations with the opposite sex especially someone that was unknown to the other person. This was a decision we made together after going for marriage counselling and dealing with some issues we had gone through in our marriage. I hope with time, you will feel more reassured of your husband's fidelity and he more understanding of any concerns you may have.

@OP I think you need to help your husband understand the importance of time spent with your DC. Children grow up so quickly and they become independent and the roles change with parents vying for their attention. Would he consider an hour free time for himself so he can spend the other hour with DC or maybe have his extra free time in the evening like you do. Either way, communication is key to helping both of you come to a favorable compromise. All the best.

Hi @OP I can empathize with you in your need to have some help from your husband when you are overwhelmed with house chores and looking after your three little ones. However may I suggest that you take some time to think deeply about your consideration of a divorce as an answer to this situation. I think an important question to consider is do you still love your husband? Marriages can go through a stressful phase especially when the children are little and they need a lot of attention but this phase doesn't last forever and children grow up and become more independent. Sometimes there is a need to find an outlet to de-stress and let your hair down but choosing an option that could have an adverse effect on your marriage is not ideal. I would also suggest your consider IC for yourself and MC for both of you to help you both process what is going on in your relationship and find a positive way forward for your family.

Marriage has it's ups and downs and sometimes it can feel like there is more downs than ups unfortunately. The reality is only the two people in the marriage know the full details of what is going on in their marriage, so it can be hard sometimes to give advice or insight. I'm always rooting for marriage to be restored but I know this can only happen if both spouses are committed.

Parenting is a wonderful and amazing role we have as moms, however sometimes we are presented with parenting challenges that we can find difficult to handle.

Thank goodness on some days for forums and parenting resources that have valuable information to help on this parenting journey. Here's one of my favorites - https://bit.ly/2GymIxq

Have a look and hope you find it useful too. Be encouraged. you are a good mum. All the best.