Message
She can call her former co-worker or whatever other man she was shtupping to fix the house. I am done.
Brother, I am sorry this happened to you. It will get better, just give it time.
You will look back and see that the day you told her goodbye may have been one the hardest, but it was also one of the best.
My ex ended up becoming an addict and his family all thought that was perfectly fine. They didn't get him help. It was ok he lost his job. "Things happen" is what I was told. Then he started cheating because "he was unhappy". Basically I found his family allowed him to fail whereas in an upper middle income family you are not really given the freedom to fail as often. You are given help to bring you back up in a middle income family and this isn't even money related. We sent our kids to public school and my ex went to private school even as a low income family. I spoke about this with the college example. He's left his family and refuses to pay for college because "the kids don't really need college or can pay their own way". I was told he didn't need to pay much even by his own family because my family would provide for them as if we make millions more when that isn't the case. It was a matter of maybe $70k a year my dad made compared to his. With the addiction. With the job changes and failures. It's all just allowed and respected as a choice. I really don't have anything more to say on it. This is my experience and that of my friends.
It's clear you disagree but for you to make your own point, I think it's best that you just talk about your own experiences. I don't see how you are adding to mine. In my experience the lower income family is often jealous of the other family's money and they just allow more reckless behavior. I don't have a lot of experience with the very rich or the very poor. This is strictly about upper middle income families wanting to hold onto their status and lower income families not being comfortable with the parameters of upper income living. This is just a comparison of people living in condominiums and old houses they own surrounded by working class people verses a typical four bedroom colonial surrounded by professional class people.
This post was interesting and well written.
It made sense and helped me understand why it might be a bad idea to marry someone from a different SES background. My wife and I both grew up MC and were lucky enough to make it to upper UMC (I am a tax attorney and, while not much fun, it pays well.)
BTW - I am sorry that your husband had these problems. Addiction is hard on the entire family.
I’ve learned my lesson.
Your ExDH sure learned his about marrying down.
And “take it to the bank” I’m done corresponding with you. Whatever your agenda is you will have to start your own topic to get it across. I feel like I’ve responded to you and stayed on topic. To OP don’t marry too far down from your own level of upbringing is my suggestion.
You are a coward. You know it and I know. You had a chance to make a point and knew you could not do so.
I don’t send them to poorer schools because I don’t agree with the parenting and behaviors and academic achievements of the kids at those schools now do I want to live in an unsafe neighborhood. Has nothing to do with the principal or the teacher.
The poster at 8:34 is right. These posts are derailing the thread.
I posted so that, if you have any guts, you can respond to this privately.
Finally, it is "nor" not "now."
It appears the post about meeting single moms (SMs) at kids' birthday parties is gone. Too bad.
The answer to that poster's question (should I try to pick up SMs at a kid's birthday party) is a resounding no. SMs are too busy at kid birthday parties (e.g., busy helping the hostess manage the horde of sugared-up third graders) to be bothered with weak pick-up attempts.
What you are looking for is the true lair for SMs - the neighborhood party.
At the neighborhood party, the SM feels safe with friends and neighbors, knows there is no pressure to bring a date to the event, and is close enough to home not worry too much about that 3rd (or 4th) glass of wine. Try to get yourself invited to as many neighborhood parties as possible.
Once you are in door, make sure you do the following:
1) Make a nice app or desert to bring to the event. This makes the other single dads look bad and you look like a caring, thoughtful person.
2) Once you have identified the saucy minx you want to spend time with, make sure that her glass is full of whatever she has been slurping that evening.
3) Determine if her XDH has the kids that night (Bingo) or if she hired a sitter (if so, get ready for fun in the Odyssey minivan.)
4) Try to work into the conversation that you got divorced because: a) your EDW found you too well-endowed; b) your EDW did not enjoy oral as much as you loved to give it; or c) both.
5) Give her an excuse she can use to leave the party and run home (e.g., I have a great baked brie at home. Let me pop over and get it.)
Once back her place, get ready for the fact that she will find any naughty suggestion you make way too tame.
To wit, I was enjoying the company of a pretty officer of her kids' PTA after a party and suggested that we make love in front of her mirror. She showed me how the master (or mistress) does it by suggesting we use her mobile phone to record the phone so that she can enjoy the playback after having to read "Goodnight Moon" to her son 10 times before he will go to sleep.
I welcome other posters' thoughts and suggestions regarding this important topic.
The answer to that poster's question (should I try to pick up SMs at a kid's birthday party) is a resounding no. SMs are too busy at kid birthday parties (e.g., busy helping the hostess manage the horde of sugared-up third graders) to be bothered with weak pick-up attempts.
What you are looking for is the true lair for SMs - the neighborhood party.
At the neighborhood party, the SM feels safe with friends and neighbors, knows there is no pressure to bring a date to the event, and is close enough to home not worry too much about that 3rd (or 4th) glass of wine. Try to get yourself invited to as many neighborhood parties as possible.
Once you are in door, make sure you do the following:
1) Make a nice app or desert to bring to the event. This makes the other single dads look bad and you look like a caring, thoughtful person.
2) Once you have identified the saucy minx you want to spend time with, make sure that her glass is full of whatever she has been slurping that evening.
3) Determine if her XDH has the kids that night (Bingo) or if she hired a sitter (if so, get ready for fun in the Odyssey minivan.)
4) Try to work into the conversation that you got divorced because: a) your EDW found you too well-endowed; b) your EDW did not enjoy oral as much as you loved to give it; or c) both.
5) Give her an excuse she can use to leave the party and run home (e.g., I have a great baked brie at home. Let me pop over and get it.)
Once back her place, get ready for the fact that she will find any naughty suggestion you make way too tame.
To wit, I was enjoying the company of a pretty officer of her kids' PTA after a party and suggested that we make love in front of her mirror. She showed me how the master (or mistress) does it by suggesting we use her mobile phone to record the phone so that she can enjoy the playback after having to read "Goodnight Moon" to her son 10 times before he will go to sleep.
I welcome other posters' thoughts and suggestions regarding this important topic.
I posted this response on the "Divorced Moms dating in their 40s" thread as well.
I am a 55 YO divorced father and have enjoyed dating single moms in their late 40s and early 50s.
They are usually in one of two groups:
Only looking to date - Most women in this group had younger children (e.g., kids from 7th to 10th grade) and were not looking for an LTR. Instead, they wanted a steady guy for the days when they did not have physical custody. They were tremendous fun and, by far and away, the most adventurous lovers since they wanted to make the most of the time they had when their kids were not around.
Looking for an LTR - Most women in this group and older children (e.g., kids who could drive or were in college). They had fewer restrictions on their time since, even when the kids were with them, the kids could drive themselves to their events.
I think that the women who were only looking to date would be open to LTRs once their kids were out of the house, but they did not want to add the complexity of a step-parent when their kids were close (i.e., less than five years) to leaving for college.
I am a 55 YO divorced father and have enjoyed dating single moms in their late 40s and early 50s.
They are usually in one of two groups:
Only looking to date - Most women in this group had younger children (e.g., kids from 7th to 10th grade) and were not looking for an LTR. Instead, they wanted a steady guy for the days when they did not have physical custody. They were tremendous fun and, by far and away, the most adventurous lovers since they wanted to make the most of the time they had when their kids were not around.
Looking for an LTR - Most women in this group and older children (e.g., kids who could drive or were in college). They had fewer restrictions on their time since, even when the kids were with them, the kids could drive themselves to their events.
I think that the women who were only looking to date would be open to LTRs once their kids were out of the house, but they did not want to add the complexity of a step-parent when their kids were close (i.e., less than five years) to leaving for college.
I am a 55 YO divorced father and have enjoyed dating single moms in their late 40s and early 50s.
They are usually in one of two groups:
Only looking to date - Most women in this group had younger children (e.g., kids from 7th to 10th grade) and were not looking for an LTR. Instead, they wanted a steady guy for the days when they did not have physical custody. They were tremendous fun and, by far and away, the most adventurous lovers since they wanted to make the most of the time they had when their kids were not around.
Looking for an LTR - Most women in this group and older children (e.g., kids who could drive or were in college). They had fewer restrictions on their time since, even when the kids were with them, the kids could drive themselves to their events.
I think that the women who were only looking to date would be open to LTRs once their kids were out of the house, but they did not want to add the complexity of a step-parent when their kids were close (i.e., less than five years) to leaving for college.
They are usually in one of two groups:
Only looking to date - Most women in this group had younger children (e.g., kids from 7th to 10th grade) and were not looking for an LTR. Instead, they wanted a steady guy for the days when they did not have physical custody. They were tremendous fun and, by far and away, the most adventurous lovers since they wanted to make the most of the time they had when their kids were not around.
Looking for an LTR - Most women in this group and older children (e.g., kids who could drive or were in college). They had fewer restrictions on their time since, even when the kids were with them, the kids could drive themselves to their events.
I think that the women who were only looking to date would be open to LTRs once their kids were out of the house, but they did not want to add the complexity of a step-parent when their kids were close (i.e., less than five years) to leaving for college.
That’s right. Knock the bottom out of it and GTFO.
This response has made the hours I wasted on DCUM worth it.
The first time I heard "You should go so I can catch up on GoT before the kids are back" I could not believe it. I made it worse by trying to be "considerate" instead of putting on my clothes and heading out the door.
Now, I offer to help make the bed (if she is getting up) and hit the highway. The message: put your effort into the sex and save the cuddling for my dogs.
I am 55-year-old single dad (empty nester).
Single moms (SM) are by far the best to date if you are looking for: great sex and a beautiful evening out (good conversation + fun to be around). A relationship where you can see her for these things seems to work quite well for most single moms older than 45 years old (the age range I most enjoy dating.)
Typically, the SM will write something in her online profile like "looking for that special someone to become part of our family" if they are looking for an LTR that would lead to marriage. This is not for me and, based on what is posted above, not for a number of SMs.
The majority of the SMs I have met (that are not looking for an LTR) are nice women looking for someone to treat them well during your time together (which often as easy as just listening to them and showing an interest in things they are interested in.) SMs often say their biggest complaint is that their XDH did not show that he cared about them (often, just taking the time to make sure they enjoy the sex is way more attention than they received post-divorce.) Providing oral sex, for example, can show a level of care they infrequently received while married.
Single moms (SM) are by far the best to date if you are looking for: great sex and a beautiful evening out (good conversation + fun to be around). A relationship where you can see her for these things seems to work quite well for most single moms older than 45 years old (the age range I most enjoy dating.)
Typically, the SM will write something in her online profile like "looking for that special someone to become part of our family" if they are looking for an LTR that would lead to marriage. This is not for me and, based on what is posted above, not for a number of SMs.
The majority of the SMs I have met (that are not looking for an LTR) are nice women looking for someone to treat them well during your time together (which often as easy as just listening to them and showing an interest in things they are interested in.) SMs often say their biggest complaint is that their XDH did not show that he cared about them (often, just taking the time to make sure they enjoy the sex is way more attention than they received post-divorce.) Providing oral sex, for example, can show a level of care they infrequently received while married.
my career
a third child. he only wanted 2.
where we live. stuck in DC, thanks to him.
no sex
Hi. I can help you with your second and final point AT THE SAME TIME.
You would not need to worry about fertility issues with me. My boys will land on your egg like the Rangers did on Pointe du Hoc on D-Day.
This guy is on OKC. Note the neckbeard.
There could be a world where "here's me sitting on a throne of machine guns" is attractive to women, but I am glad I don't live in that world.
Please take my photo down. Thank you.
Signed,
Bubba
Of House Nextbeard
Tenth of His Name
Lord of the Seven Kingdoms
Protector of the Realm
King of the of the Andals and the First Men
What was your experience? Asking for a friend.
You would have a flighting chance finding someone to fit the bill on DCUM if you create a username and are willing to weed through all the men who will contact you.
But most of the time he either passes out on the couch when we're watching TV or soon as we go to the bedroom, he's asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
I realize this is off-topic but..have you looked into medical issues? When I started sleeping while on the couch or falling asleep as soon as I went to bed I went to my GP.
The result: Got a sleep study and a C-PAP. I then had the energy to workout, lose weight and become interested in activities other than sleeping.
.After all that, I think you are bound to fall in love with that person. It's given
Really? The female posters at 1/17 6:40 and 1/17 8:06 says all they want is sex. It seems like I could have a number of evenings like the one I described and my partner would leave the next day without a need for anymore contact. Do you mean that I would fall in love and they would "hit it and quit it"?