Here we have the "older men" dating "younger woman" issue. Again.

I think we can end it by saying:

1) If you are a 45 year-old man (or insert any age here) and have (or are) dating 30 year-old woman, please do not post to tell us so. I am sure you are great and can get tons of women at any and every age.
2) If you are 30 year-old woman (insert any age here) and would not date (and have female friends who would not date) a 45 year-old man, please do not post to tell us so. I am sure you are great and can tons of men at any every age, even if you only want them to be of a certain age.

I am disappointed when I read post/counter-post regarding the issue since most do not move the thread along at all.

Thank you for your thoughtful analysis of this post.

I'm looking for the same thing - love and sex, in that order. I want someone to love me, and yes, I still believe it's possible at any age. I'm 53, and I know there is someone out there who will love me.

You are braver than I am.

I was married for 25 years and I am not sure I am actually looking for love this time around. I am looking for good sex (by good I mean adventurous, uninhibited, and plentiful) and excellent companionship (by that I mean a lady that likes to have fun traveling, going to dinner, talking) and I am happy when I find someone one who is looking for the same thing. An evening like going to dinner, coming home and having sex on the back deck or in the backyard (when it is dark enough that no one will call the cops) and then watching a movie is, to me, a great evening (and a true benefit from not having kids in the house anymore)

And I believe that, yes, there is likely someone out there who will love you.

Companionship is a word meaning “you pick up my underwear and wash it” to most men.

No, thanks. Just the sex thanks.

Wow. The last person who picked up my underwear and washed it was my mom and I started having to put my dirty clothes (inclulding underwear) in the laundry room around the time I started school. Started helping with the wash when I got older. Mom worked and did not have time for sons who did not pull their own weight. Now, I have a cleaning crew that comes in once a week and they do a great job with the laundry (I still put my dirty clothes in the laundry room.)

Sounds like you have been hanging around the wrong "most men." I love sex and I also love the companionship of a bright, courteous lady at dinner, on vacation, at a party, and many other places. I think I can have sex with her and still enjoy her companionship afterward.

Specifically, they are happy with a lover and do want him for anything more.

I agree. Recently divorced 49 year old. I have no desire to take care of a man

.

Speaking as a 55 year old man, I do not need anyone to take care of me other than sex and companionship.

They separated offically 5 months ago

And Larla is now in love. The safe bet is that Larla was doing the bone dance with the new guy while the XDH was still in the picture.

Grandpa, you be so butt hurt!

Time to grow up and act the age you look. You never replied to the questions about your plastic surgery spending and helping to undo a lifetime's damage to your body.

Without some work there, most men could fit their balls (taut or saggy) inside you as well.

Why are you implying that being older, or much older, is an insult? I am much older than a 40 year old poster.

But I am not too stupid under the difference between saying something is true is far from the same as proving it is true.

However, you are.

It's an insult only if you are a person who likes to bore others with his own health stats. This kind of obsessive monitoring of health is more typical for hypochondriacs or elderly in poor health. It's not attractive. And it's definitely not a sign of vivacious, youthful approach to life.

You need to reread your post (the second one quoted above) and edit it so that it makes sense. The health stats were provided to show the difference between boasting with nothing to support the boast (e.g., I have a great body) and making a statement using facts

However, I think you would understand it better if I used a different example. The statement "I have great body" is an opinion. The fact that I am six feet tall is not because it can be measured and verified. Your approach to life is uninformed and you appear very poorly read. Again, these are opinions but every time you write a reply you make them appear more factual.

I yet have to meet a woman who claimed to be in great shape and she wasn't. And that's because most women are extremely self critical. If the lady says she has a nice body, she probably does. We still don't know if she can compete with you as an athlete but that's objectively irrelevant. You should compete with other men instead.

Your posts are getting weirder and weirder. Again, you failed to understand any of the major points. Narcissists often claim to possess attributes that most other people find that they do not. Not only did this poster claim to have great body (as the partial result of plastic surgery) she also claimed to be wealthy, driven, etc. You are correct that, unfortunately, women are often unnecessarily critical of their appearance. However, this does mean that the narcissistic poster with the "great body" is as attractive as she is so desperately believes she is.

Why would I want to compete with her or other men about anything posted here? My goal was to call her on making narcissistic post, which I did. Sadly, everything you have written is response is mindless word drool. Except the point about using a 36" waist as an example. You were right that that is not realistic and a better example would have been "and is 5'5" tall, has brown eyes, etc." since these are facts as well and much more commonly found.

It's true. My sister's ILs are rich AF, very old money. They live on Saltines and gin.

I would love to meet them. I love gin but prefer Ritz to Saltines. However, I think I could make the switch if I could marry up. Sadly, I am only UMC now and I have to shop for the Ritz and the gin on sale.

Send him this: https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm and tell him you need to talk to him ASAP.

He will lose your number quickly.

OP - have you really looked at what you contribute to the marrige?

Thanks for the words of wisdom! Just was feeling afraid that men wouldn’t be interested in women over 39. I have plenty else to work on in the meantime, but helpful to feel like there might be hope of loving again.

I am a divorced 55 year old man and I normally date no younger than 45 (and like to stay within the 50-55 year old age range.) I have been blessed to meet some truly wonderful women and enjoy dating more now than when I was young.

This is DCUM so you will hear from some (read: those who are batshit crazy and you pray that they do not live near you after reading their posts) that: 1) older men only want women who are younger than 40; 2) women who are older than 40 will not date older men because they do not want to be someone's date to "Orientation for New Resident's Day" at Sunrise Senior Living; and 3) while it might be okay for others, they are so smoking hot they either only date much younger women or only date the top 1% of the top 1% of single men over 40.

OP - you seem sane and should be able to meet a number of nice men.

If you did not cheat during marriage how has it been for you in the dating world? Are you dating? What do you want out of a more mature relationship? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How is your libido?

I am a 54 year old divorced man and the dating world has been good so far. I want a relationship where we can share time together (e.g., dinner, travel, etc.) and see where it goes from there.

My libido is great, thanks for asking. As I result, I want sex to be a material part of any equation.

The biggest problem I have experienced is that you can’t really go on a date or have your profile with picture posted on the web because of the fear of getting caught by coworkers, neighbors, relatives etc. how do you overcome this?

Do not post a profile that includes your face or any feature (or background) that would out you. Then, because you are on the system (e.g., Tinder) you can contact men you like and let them know you are interested.

Once you find someone and establish they are cool with your situtation, you can send a photo or meet up.

I am a 55 year old divorced man with adult children and I think the OP's idea sounds great.


Uppost someone wrote great summary (e.g., I am looking for ____ and love to spend one night a week enjoying someone's company for dinner, etc.) My children are adults now (well, they think they are adults); however, I understand what it takes in terms of time to be a single parent. I also understand that having someone there for social fun time (including sex) make life much better.

I work fairly long hours (tax work for an international accounting firm) and dating someone in this type of arrangement would be great in that I could plan to be free on my night with her and not worry on the nights when I need to work late or travel.

In addition, a single woman in her early 50s with kids would definitely show up in my search results and I would not worry too much about men my age who want to date much younger. OP - my final thought is to suggest that you reach out to men you find interesting. I feel the most comfortable contacting women who have contacted me first since I know I will not be wasting my time.

Best of luck.