s/o Single Moms and Birthday Parties

[taketothebank]

It appears the post about meeting single moms (SMs) at kids' birthday parties is gone. Too bad.

The answer to that poster's question (should I try to pick up SMs at a kid's birthday party) is a resounding no. SMs are too busy at kid birthday parties (e.g., busy helping the hostess manage the horde of sugared-up third graders) to be bothered with weak pick-up attempts.

What you are looking for is the true lair for SMs - the neighborhood party.

At the neighborhood party, the SM feels safe with friends and neighbors, knows there is no pressure to bring a date to the event, and is close enough to home not worry too much about that 3rd (or 4th) glass of wine. Try to get yourself invited to as many neighborhood parties as possible.

Once you are in door, make sure you do the following:

1) Make a nice app or desert to bring to the event. This makes the other single dads look bad and you look like a caring, thoughtful person.
2) Once you have identified the saucy minx you want to spend time with, make sure that her glass is full of whatever she has been slurping that evening.
3) Determine if her XDH has the kids that night (Bingo) or if she hired a sitter (if so, get ready for fun in the Odyssey minivan.)
4) Try to work into the conversation that you got divorced because: a) your EDW found you too well-endowed; b) your EDW did not enjoy oral as much as you loved to give it; or c) both.
5) Give her an excuse she can use to leave the party and run home (e.g., I have a great baked brie at home. Let me pop over and get it.)

Once back her place, get ready for the fact that she will find any naughty suggestion you make way too tame.

To wit, I was enjoying the company of a pretty officer of her kids' PTA after a party and suggested that we make love in front of her mirror. She showed me how the master (or mistress) does it by suggesting we use her mobile phone to record the phone so that she can enjoy the playback after having to read "Goodnight Moon" to her son 10 times before he will go to sleep.

I welcome other posters' thoughts and suggestions regarding this important topic.