Assumption of dating pool for divorced 40s women with kids

[Anonymous]

I used to believe women in their 30s had a hard time dating. That thinking and social pressure is what made me get married at 32. Stupid.

Now all I hear is no one wants to date a woman in her 40s with kids. I am early 40s now with kids. I have had no problems at all. In fact, with dating apps it is easier than in my 20s! I wish people would stop saying these things to women. I am not looking to remarry ever.

Are other women my are having the same experience? It is like I want to yell at people to stop with the outdated thinking. I never would have entered the wrong marriage to begin with if I knew how it would actually be.

[Anonymous]

The issue is not that "no one wants to date a woman in her 40s with kids". The issue is who wants to date a woman in her 40s with kids. Is it hot childless guys in their 30s? Is it divorced dads in their 50s? And the second issue is what the men who date women in their 40s with kids want from the relationship - Short-term hookup? FWB? Monogamous LTR? Remarriage?

I have had no problems at all.

Getting what? Hookups? FWB? Monogamous relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is not that "no one wants to date a woman in her 40s with kids". The issue is who wants to date a woman in her 40s with kids. Is it hot childless guys in their 30s? Is it divorced dads in their 50s? And the second issue is what the men who date women in their 40s with kids want from the relationship - Short-term hookup? FWB? Monogamous LTR? Remarriage?

I have had no problems at all.

Getting what? Hookups? FWB? Monogamous relationships?

OP here: It is hot childless guys in their 30s. Dating. No problems at all. More options than I know what to do with.

[Anonymous]

I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

It's because you're not looking to remarry. You're looking to have a good time.

Very different than women in your situation who are looking for a long-term life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's because you're not looking to remarry. You're looking to have a good time.

Very different than women in your situation who are looking for a long-term life partner.

I'd agree with this. I have a number of male friends in their 40s who are never-married or divorced, and that's similar to what they tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's because you're not looking to remarry. You're looking to have a good time.

Very different than women in your situation who are looking for a long-term life partner.

I'd agree with this. I have a number of male friends in their 40s who are never-married or divorced, and that's similar to what they tell me.

+2. Very few men will say “no” to having a good time. No problem finding hot guys (all ages) for women in their 40s and 50s with kids if you are not looking for marriage.

[Anonymous]

You are yeah

[Anonymous]

No problems here, either. Engaged now. My kids are in high school and will be off to college in no time at all. My fiancee is three years older than me with older kids.

I would say half of my divorced friends are remarried or engaged. All have kids except one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's because you're not looking to remarry. You're looking to have a good time.

Very different than women in your situation who are looking for a long-term life partner.

OP here: I do not think it is different at all. I am looking for long term—that does not have to include living together or marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No problems here, either. Engaged now. My kids are in high school and will be off to college in no time at all. My fiancee is three years older than me with older kids.

When both your kids and his want to boomerang back home after college, that's going to be the Best Time Ever for all concerned...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

[Anonymous]

Black woman in her 40s (divorced, no children) and not having much luck at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No problems here, either. Engaged now. My kids are in high school and will be off to college in no time at all. My fiancee is three years older than me with older kids.

When both your kids and his want to boomerang back home after college, that's going to be the Best Time Ever for all concerned...

His kids are already off in the world and will not be boomeranging home. My kids love him and consider him a member of the family. They can come home at any time. So we're all good.

More importantly, OP, my friends and I did not have trouble with the dating pool. I would suggest telling people you know that you're divorced and looking to date again. I think many of the best relationships form from set-ups, rather than online dating. And of course there's the obvious stuff: take the time to work on yourself and heal after divorce, be fit and active, find a good job that's satisfying, etc. etc. These are for you and your future happiness, but they also help when you are looking for a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's because you're not looking to remarry. You're looking to have a good time.

Very different than women in your situation who are looking for a long-term life partner.

I know a lot of older women that have re-married or are living with their new partner and in a LTR.

I also know a couple that have remained single however that has been their choice. They don't actively date and refuse the dates their family and friends try to set them up with.