Have you or your S/O been diagnosed with prostate cancer when it was staged at T1C?

Based on what I have read, this stage is very low risk and I do not want a prostatectomy for any number of reason (not the least of which is I am only 54.)

Have you or your S/O been diagnosed with prostate cancer when it was staged at T1C? Based on what I have read, this stage is very low risk and I do not want a prostatectomy for any number of reason (not the least of which is I am only 54.)

Camping in a tent with intermittent nights in motels. Lots of meals in nice restaurants. Taking lots of cash out of ATMs. I think he's paying for BJs from men or women, I'm not sure which. I'm not sure it matters.

Hookers (male or female) makes the most sense here. Need cash to pay them and he is taking them to nice restaurants as part of the fee. It is half your money, OP.

You should be able to put a stop to this by moving money into another account when he leaves. However, this only works if you want it to.

Please teach me how to avoid becoming a powerless slave as a result of falling under the GAZE. Help us, might PP. You are our only hope.

Um, help. I have trying to use the GAZE all afternoon and the thugs from HR are on their way to see me. Must be a gender specific thing.

please teach me how to do this. I want to use it in job interviews so I can get a job I like. I also want to use it on my MIL so I get what I want from her.

Please teach me how to avoid becoming a powerless slave as a result of falling under the GAZE. Help us, might PP. You are our only hope.

I mostly reach out with an individualized message to guys I think would be of interest who live within driving distance but not in my city. Most answer back and ask for a picture. I then let them know I work at the college and am trying to keep work / life separate and ask if they are connected to the college. If they say no, I send pictures. I have a line in my profile saying pictures are available so they know I have them to share.

This is great advice.

One of my best friends has well written Match profile he keeps in "Private" mode. He reviews the women in his demographic, and sends a message to the ones with whom he would like to talk. If the email conversation goes well, then they exchange photos or meet in person. The real work is in really reviewing a person's profile and in asking meaningful questions during when contacting someone.

+1. More information would help a good deal.

OP - please ask your DH to share his paystub and show you where the money is going and how you can get to it.

I am a CPA and you would be suprised how many women, even in the year 2018, do not know where their DH has deposited money or other details about their finances. They pay a huge price if their DH dies suddenly and they do not where to go to access savings, insurance proceeds, etc.

The last thing you need to worry about when you are grieving his loss is where to find the money you need to live on until the insurance proceeds arrive. This fact alone should prompt him to show you what you need to know.

I love what I do and want to do it until at least 65. Maybe cut back on the hours; however, there are still lots of good times ahead.

Sounds like he is getting involved with my ex-wife. He'll be sorry if he goes there....

We have a winner for best post so far.

BTW - How far into the relationship with your XDW would he be sorry? Right off the bat or later when the boiling rabbit appears?

To the PP at 9:58, a number of things you said are fair. I am not better or superior to you. I have my own mistakes, sins, etc. and I own that they are mine and mine alone. The semantics issue issue is related to the fact that in your posts you do not own your actions.

We did everything by the book, to cause as little hurt as possible. The only thing we could have done differently is not fall in love. And, maybe it wasn't like this for you, but your experience is not universal. For me, it felt beyond my control. I attempted to control my feelings and so did he.

It felt beyond your control? Did you run and jump is his arms every time you saw him? Kiss him in public? Call him or visit when you knew he was with his wife? No. You could and did control your actions. We are all judged based on our actions, not our feelings. It is the result of your actions that his marriage ended. Neither your feelings nor mine control our actions. We do what do because we choose to. The correct semantics are not "I fell in love" but "I wanted to be with him and I helped him leave his wife so we could be together." You made this choice and I do not judge you for it. What I cannot stand are phrases like "it felt beyond my control" because they are an attempt to use an external force to justify the results of a choice you made, the results of which may be uncomfortable.

Have none of you EVER looked around and thought "how did I get here?" Have none of you ever found yourself in a morally gray area?

I have looked around and asked what were the choices I made to get here and why did I make them when I have found myself in a morally gray (or dark) area. Let us make no mistake. I made the decisions that put me where I was, not some magically force acting on me.

LOL. At 45, you ain't the "bad boy on the side". You sound like one of those grey haired, obese men that ride motorcycles and consider themselves studs. That's not how it works. Hot women your age are fantasizing about James the 23 year old tennis instructor- and quite possibly banging him, if the gossip around my country club is any indication. NOT you, as much as the idea of that may thrill you.

This is great. First, does James bill for the banging time as well as the tennis lesson? I bet not, just thought I would ask.

Second, as a man in his mid-50s, I am dating because I want to find someone with whom I can fall in love. Not sure how many women my age are looking for the same thing.


Girls at any age can find someone to bang whenever they want and I think that becoming more impowered economically has allowed them to act on this more (and lead to a greater ability to cheat.)

Finally, women of every age are much better looking then men. Think about a what a man looks like naked compared to a woman and the truth of this becomes very clear. Even when things are sagging.

I'm not the PP, but I had to guess, the appeal of new and strange.

You don't ever want to have sex with someone new just for the thrill of it? I don't act on this desire out of respect for my H. But I get it. I understand intellectually why other people do, even those who do genuinely love their spouse.

To poster at 13:27, does your H feel the same way? Would you be okay with him telling you that he thought about sex with someone new "just for the thrill of it"?

You seem balanced and I would like to know what you think. Often on DCUM, people feel like they are entitled to something (an affair, etc.) because they are not get something (attention, respect, etc.) However, they cannot see how that their SO might feel the same way.

Not hard to believe at all.

First, think about how you feel once your XDH finds someone new.

If you do not care, then make sure you can work out the money, timing, etc. of blending your new bf/DH into your life that must include your XDH. Most women think about how they will feel with their new man, and that is very important to consider.

My advice is consider how you can make it work with your XDH. He will likely find someone new (i.e., realize now that he will not sit and wait by the window for you to come home after you tell him it is over) and that someone will become a part of your kids' lives.

If you can live with these facts, then you are ready to make a break work.

Spend the money and get a good dietitian and training instructor.

You need a program that is built for you. I love to box and was able to find a trainer that knew how to blend boxing into a overall program focused on getting me in much better shape.

I can now run a sub 8:00 min mile (good for a 54 year old man) and can do 50 push up anytime anywhere (where six months ago I was out of breath looking for the remote). At 6' 1" and 210 (about 12% body fat) I am focused on dropping below 200 by the end of the year. The best part is the right team of professionals can help you find ways to move that you enjoy and that can help you.