And “take it to the bank” I’m done corresponding with you. Whatever your agenda is you will have to start your own topic to get it across. I feel like I’ve responded to you and stayed on topic. To OP don’t marry too far down from your own level of upbringing is my suggestion.

I’ve learned my lesson.

taketothebank wrote:

And “take it to the bank” I’m done corresponding with you. Whatever your agenda is you will have to start your own topic to get it across. I feel like I’ve responded to you and stayed on topic. To OP don’t marry too far down from your own level of upbringing is my suggestion.

You are a coward. You know it and I know. You had a chance to make a point and knew you could not do so.

taketothebank wrote:

I don’t send them to poorer schools because I don’t agree with the parenting and behaviors and academic achievements of the kids at those schools now do I want to live in an unsafe neighborhood. Has nothing to do with the principal or the teacher.

The poster at 8:34 is right. These posts are derailing the thread.

I posted so that, if you have any guts, you can respond to this privately.

Finally, it is "nor" not "now."

My ex ended up becoming an addict and his family all thought that was perfectly fine. They didn't get him help. It was ok he lost his job. "Things happen" is what I was told. Then he started cheating because "he was unhappy". Basically I found his family allowed him to fail whereas in an upper middle income family you are not really given the freedom to fail as often. You are given help to bring you back up in a middle income family and this isn't even money related. We sent our kids to public school and my ex went to private school even as a low income family. I spoke about this with the college example. He's left his family and refuses to pay for college because "the kids don't really need college or can pay their own way". I was told he didn't need to pay much even by his own family because my family would provide for them as if we make millions more when that isn't the case. It was a matter of maybe $70k a year my dad made compared to his. With the addiction. With the job changes and failures. It's all just allowed and respected as a choice. I really don't have anything more to say on it. This is my experience and that of my friends.

It's clear you disagree but for you to make your own point, I think it's best that you just talk about your own experiences. I don't see how you are adding to mine. In my experience the lower income family is often jealous of the other family's money and they just allow more reckless behavior. I don't have a lot of experience with the very rich or the very poor. This is strictly about upper middle income families wanting to hold onto their status and lower income families not being comfortable with the parameters of upper income living. This is just a comparison of people living in condominiums and old houses they own surrounded by working class people verses a typical four bedroom colonial surrounded by professional class people.

Anonymous wrote:No major ramifications for us, but I did expose my husband to thing that he would never had experienced if he had married someone in his neighborhood/town.

- reading for pleasure, or even really reading after HS. His parents were busy working all the time, multiple shifts, and they didn't grow up with books in the house. He was fascinated with my reading habits, but now after 20 years of marriage he is a casual reader. He understands getting lost in a story.
- theatre: plays and musicals. He would go with me, but think both the costs of going were exorbitant. Our daughter is a musical fanatic, so he keeps up with songs and will take her to shows
- buying our first home was tough. We qualified for a much larger purchase price, but he couldn't get over spending a "half million" on a home. He would never say 500 thousand. He always translated it to a million.
- food prices. There are a few places he will just concede are better tasting, but he will mention the insanity of paying $20 for a hamburger, when you can get one off of the dollar menu. This has gotten a little better as time has gone on, though if his parents are visiting we just do not let them see menu prices if we go out. He will order and we bring it home, or just have it brought to the table.
- He's having a huge amount of sticker shock at college tuition. It's a lot, but we can afford to pay for our kid's tuition, so I'm insisting on doing so.
- He grew up being charged by his parents for anything outside of shelter/food (from about 14-18). At 18 they had to pay rent to live at home. I really had to put my foot down that we aren't charging our teen and college aged kids for things. We can afford to let them live with us "rent free" while they are actively working and on college breaks. It's not like we are giving them new cars, and fancy electronics, or taking them on shopping trips.

Anonymous wrote:

The biggest difference that we had to get on the same page about was paying for our kids to go to college. To me, it was a huge financial priority, as my parents paid for my college and graduate school and I entered adulthood with no student loans. My husband's parents didn't go to college, and he paid his way. He just paid off his student loans last year. He thinks that paying your own way makes you scrappier. I think our society is set up in a way that its a big disadvantage. Interestingly, my parents who have far less saved for retirement are the ones who contributed to our kids' college funds. My in-laws will not contribute on principal. But they would consider buying my child the latest and greatest video gaming system....strange to me!