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You are mean.

You are picking apart what he eats?

You're mean!
It is the right thing to do because you are engaged now...No way out.

No I am kidding.

Come on he was watching TV. You are way overthinking. Some people don't want to sit and coddle your insecurities. He didn't want to spend two hours telling you how beautiful and lovely you are. He was relaxing and enjoying his night. Give him a break. If you wanted to be loving then you should have started telling him all the reasons you wanted to marry him and let him follow. You trapped him.
WHAT??

This blows my mind. You throw someone else's belongings away?

This is some of the most entitled and grossest behavior ever.

Disgusting.
Do you think she meant it to be spiteful? My MIL gives me little scrubby dish pads for Christmas every year even though I don't really wash dishes by hand. I have never really thought she was sending me a message. I wonder if the bride is reading too much into it?

It sounds like there might be some good recipes in there. Maybe open it up and see. Judging by the name and the amazon reviews none of them seem too complicated which is perfect for a soon-to-be bride planning a wedding.

I mean the obvious thing to do is go to every family gathering with dishes strictly made from this book. And if you think she was being spiteful then make maybe the worst sounding dishes.
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Guerita32 wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:Man here in 30s. Love "fun size" women. Why? Sex is better. Yes, I can squat 300 lbs and bench 225. I'm a 6' dude. Not small, but when I'm having sex I don't want it to be a workout. It's much more fun to have sex picking a woman up and tossing her around when she's 100-115 lbs than 140/150+. Also clothes. Tiny women look good in more suggestive outfits (crop tops, short skirts, denim shorts, etc.) Visually seeing a taut tummy is appealing.



You are a lazy lover. I bet you never had a woman who could bend you into a pretzel and toss you like salad.


Assume what you want. I was pretty clear. Just because I can push 200lbs up and down doesn't mean I have to like doing it in the bedroom. I prefer to leave that to cross fit and/or the gym. Good thing for me is there's plenty of supply for 100-115lb women that I've never had to date heavier.



I see why you are single.


Not looking for a relationship =)... doesn't mean I don't get laid sweetie

I guess you call your hand, a date.


Why so much hate because he doesn't want to date fat chicks? What is it with heavy women so sensitive when guys don't find them attractive. I'm 5 feet and about 110 lbs and don't find tiny little men attractive, so I go for tall guys with a nice build. Friend of mine is 200 lbs her DH probably 130 soaking wet and shorter than she is. It's all about preference, and that's okay. People are allowed to have preferences. Bigger gals need to stop thinking men who don't find them attractive are pigs or mean or shallow. They just don't dig fat chicks.


You realize that you're short but hardly tiny at that height & weight, right?


She isn't tiny? That is interesting. I am 5' and between 98 and 100lb (depending on if I have my period or not or how many girl scout cookies I have eaten that week) and I get called pretty and tiny all the time.
I heard both of those yesterday. So PUH-LEASE. 5' is small.


You are the same height as her but weigh 10-12 lbs less that she does. Both of you are small in stature but only you are a small person overall.


Perhaps she has more muscle than I do?


Seriously, you don't get this?! 10-12 pounds is HUGE when you're that short. I weigh 110 as well, but I'm 5'5.


d'ok I don't think it is fair say 110 lbs is "HUGE" on any height. My god. Get a grip here.
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Guerita32 wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:Man here in 30s. Love "fun size" women. Why? Sex is better. Yes, I can squat 300 lbs and bench 225. I'm a 6' dude. Not small, but when I'm having sex I don't want it to be a workout. It's much more fun to have sex picking a woman up and tossing her around when she's 100-115 lbs than 140/150+. Also clothes. Tiny women look good in more suggestive outfits (crop tops, short skirts, denim shorts, etc.) Visually seeing a taut tummy is appealing.



You are a lazy lover. I bet you never had a woman who could bend you into a pretzel and toss you like salad.


Assume what you want. I was pretty clear. Just because I can push 200lbs up and down doesn't mean I have to like doing it in the bedroom. I prefer to leave that to cross fit and/or the gym. Good thing for me is there's plenty of supply for 100-115lb women that I've never had to date heavier.



I see why you are single.


Not looking for a relationship =)... doesn't mean I don't get laid sweetie

I guess you call your hand, a date.


Why so much hate because he doesn't want to date fat chicks? What is it with heavy women so sensitive when guys don't find them attractive. I'm 5 feet and about 110 lbs and don't find tiny little men attractive, so I go for tall guys with a nice build. Friend of mine is 200 lbs her DH probably 130 soaking wet and shorter than she is. It's all about preference, and that's okay. People are allowed to have preferences. Bigger gals need to stop thinking men who don't find them attractive are pigs or mean or shallow. They just don't dig fat chicks.


You realize that you're short but hardly tiny at that height & weight, right?


She isn't tiny? That is interesting. I am 5' and between 98 and 100lb (depending on if I have my period or not or how many girl scout cookies I have eaten that week) and I get called pretty and tiny all the time.
I heard both of those yesterday. So PUH-LEASE. 5' is small.


You are the same height as her but weigh 10-12 lbs less that she does. Both of you are small in stature but only you are a small person overall.


Perhaps she has more muscle than I do?
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Anonymous wrote:Man here in 30s. Love "fun size" women. Why? Sex is better. Yes, I can squat 300 lbs and bench 225. I'm a 6' dude. Not small, but when I'm having sex I don't want it to be a workout. It's much more fun to have sex picking a woman up and tossing her around when she's 100-115 lbs than 140/150+. Also clothes. Tiny women look good in more suggestive outfits (crop tops, short skirts, denim shorts, etc.) Visually seeing a taut tummy is appealing.



You are a lazy lover. I bet you never had a woman who could bend you into a pretzel and toss you like salad.


Assume what you want. I was pretty clear. Just because I can push 200lbs up and down doesn't mean I have to like doing it in the bedroom. I prefer to leave that to cross fit and/or the gym. Good thing for me is there's plenty of supply for 100-115lb women that I've never had to date heavier.



I see why you are single.


Not looking for a relationship =)... doesn't mean I don't get laid sweetie

I guess you call your hand, a date.


Why so much hate because he doesn't want to date fat chicks? What is it with heavy women so sensitive when guys don't find them attractive. I'm 5 feet and about 110 lbs and don't find tiny little men attractive, so I go for tall guys with a nice build. Friend of mine is 200 lbs her DH probably 130 soaking wet and shorter than she is. It's all about preference, and that's okay. People are allowed to have preferences. Bigger gals need to stop thinking men who don't find them attractive are pigs or mean or shallow. They just don't dig fat chicks.


You realize that you're short but hardly tiny at that height & weight, right?


She isn't tiny? That is interesting. I am 5' and between 98 and 100lb (depending on if I have my period or not or how many girl scout cookies I have eaten that week) and I get called pretty and tiny all the time.
I heard both of those yesterday. So PUH-LEASE. 5' is small.
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Anonymous wrote:He's crazy? No eye contact just means I'd think your autistic.


Wow - you sound like peach. I bet you call a lot of people retarded too.

Not looking someone in the eye could be a symptom of many things - but you jump to mental illness. Interesting.


NP. Autism isn't a mental illness.


I am not the previous poster either but if someone was purposely avoiding looking me in the eye, I don't know that autism wouldn't run through my mind since that is a big symptom of it. It wouldn't be a judgement by any means. You are the one assuming he is being cast out of society with this suspicion. I would think "hmm maybe he is on the spectrum" that's it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Anonymous wrote:Guerita, ugh. Holy schnikes, you are messed up. Gas lighting? Rich coming from someone hoeing more than a farmer.

Where's your hypocritical and sanctimonious passion in defense of the PP (not me, in fact) who said she tried communication and forcing counseling and just got dogpiled from some self-pitying, apparently cheated on people?


Oh please. You are absolutely right that I am messed up! I will be the first to admit it! I have made a litany of mistakes in my life and the affairs were selfish. They have ended (albeit the last was recent) and I will never cause that hurt again. But I also won't go online and tell people they deserve it either. I did realize it made me hypocritical to offer an inside perspective inside of calling someone a piece of shit because they have been cheated on. I thought it should be said anyways.

By the way, your petty and laughable insults get a 2/10 though. Make them more about what I write if you really want them to hurt me. Maybe insult my sentence structure or my use of the word gaslighting. They are really 7th grade so far. Not clever. Hoe as in farmer, c'mon?
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Anonymous wrote:No, I was brutal, but you're one. Good god. You are steeped in the victim crap, and it's surreal to say your stbx if that's you would testify to your perfection and you are so effing comfortable attacking people who may have had different (less perfect wives? no doubt.) marriages. But I'm sure the stbx will pine for you until he dies, miserable and alone.


I'm the one who said my STBXH would say I was a great wife. I didn't say anything after that. You are arguing with more than one person. Pro tip: this is why quoting the person you are responding to helps.

Anyway, I know my STBXH feels that way because we are very friendly co-parents. We see each other and talk all the time. I think it's really weird that it's so important for you to dispute this, but who cares.

This is a thread for people who have been cheated on. Why come here to attack people who are commiserating about a shared experience?


ProTip: ^^ this pert bs is why he needed someone else. Did I say with certitude I was discussing with you? Nope. And of course I'm here just as you are - participating in a conversation. I'll let you go back to being the best wife and mommy ever though.



I am so confused at your anger and motivation here. If you believe that people who are cheated on, deserve it, fine. I have cheated on my husband and f*ck NO he didn't deserve it. I believe this woman could very well be right that her husband would probably testify that she is a great mom and wife. And both of the men I have carried on with outside of my marriage had gorgeous, caring and kind wives who loved their families and I believe fully these men would testify to that. Why do you feel the need to insult her and attack her like this? Just from reading a few of your lines, it looks like you are pretty well experienced in gas lighting people.

Kids are so messy and it is hard to keep the house clean with kids in it! It is hard to keep my house clean on a Saturday and we have housekeeper that comes once a week!!

If he has been treating you like crap for this long... you should perhaps seek counseling.
Anonymous wrote:x2. for context, I'm the DH who had an affair. It is something that I regret to this day, nearly 15 years later. My wife didn't deserve what I did and had every right to leave. I promised her I would never do it again and that I would make it up to her. I continue to try to do that. I am forever grateful that she didn't leave me.

Staying with me, giving me a chance to make up for what I did took far more strength than listening to the harpies who told her she should just leave.


How long was your affair?
Anonymous wrote:This is the OP.

I really appreciate everyone's feedback. Even the tough love posters.

I don't think I am rationalizing or blaming the OW. The blame rests squarely with my husband. Was I the perfect wife? No. But he is the one who broke the marriage.

My financial concerns are that he makes the majority of the HHI, and even if I worked FT, my earning power is about $75k max. Our HHI is $170k, and he makes $130k of that. My job is the flexible one, and I have been able to take breaks from working when DD was young, and then set my hours to avoid having to pay for childcare. If we divorce, we will have a lot less money, and DD's lifestyle will suffer. My husband will actually be better off financially with the OW than with me, even if I get the house, child support, and alimoney.

I posted because I wanted to be sure I wasn't leaving any chance of a good life for my daughter on the table, but everyone agrees I should leave, so I guess I will be looking for divorce attorneys this weekend.


Financially, it is a cruddy decision. But do you want your daughter to grow up with a strong mother who can look her husband in the eyes and say "enough" when she has been put through this hell? I think your daughter deserves you to be a good role model.

You guys are assholes.
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