Comment my fiance made

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[Post New]03/06/2017 12:53
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Anonymous
I love how women ask other women about a comment that a man made. Women are from Venus and men are from Mars. They express emotion far differently.

OP, don't you have any men in your life that you can ask - friends, brothers?

No snark, but did you expect or want him to say? He said it is the right thing to do - you and I feel right together. We are the perfect fit together. It's not sappy but it is an extremely positive answer.
[Post New]03/06/2017 13:00
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Anonymous
Please cancel the wedding ASAP to spare yourself the pain ten years down the line when you're worn down by his inability to communicate romantically in a way that pleases you. There is nothing wrong with what he said unless you are the kind of person who craves romance. You're engaged. You are getting, as Chris Rock once said, not your fiance but 'the ambassador of' him. He will become more direct as the years go by and it will drive you crazy.
[Post New]03/06/2017 13:26
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Anonymous
Overthinking
[Post New]03/06/2017 14:04
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Guerita32
Member Offline
It is the right thing to do because you are engaged now...No way out.

No I am kidding.

Come on he was watching TV. You are way overthinking. Some people don't want to sit and coddle your insecurities. He didn't want to spend two hours telling you how beautiful and lovely you are. He was relaxing and enjoying his night. Give him a break. If you wanted to be loving then you should have started telling him all the reasons you wanted to marry him and let him follow. You trapped him.
[Post New]03/06/2017 14:06
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Oy. I vote overthinking.

+1
[Post New]03/06/2017 14:06
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Anonymous
Weird response.
[Post New]03/06/2017 14:08
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Anonymous
Way overthinking. Are you in your early 20s?
[Post New]03/06/2017 14:13
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Anonymous
Sounds much better than my husbands response 10 years ago. He said so I can improve his English. Are you otherwise happy? I wouldn't think too much into this comment. Men say silly stuff sometimes.
[Post New]03/06/2017 14:55
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Anonymous
Eyeroll of the day.
[Post New]03/06/2017 15:04
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Anonymous
As long as you aren't pregnant, I think it's cute.
[Post New]03/06/2017 15:15
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:WTF OP. What he said was sweet. Men think more logically than women. They rationalize big decisions like marriage. You complete the puzzle. Everything fits with you. He's not trying to make it work, it works because it's right. Good Lord you're dense.

And what do we get when the puzzle is complete? The complete picture. It's all in focus and he likes it. Be happy OP. Lots of men out there that tell women things makes them sigh, hearts to pity pat and curls their toes but they are users.
[Post New]03/06/2017 15:17
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We are recently engaged, been together 3 years. We were cuddling on the couch watching tv and chatting.

I said to him "why do you want to marry me?" I was sort of expecting some cute, I love you, you make me happy, I love being with you etc...
He said "it's the right thing to do"
I said, "what do you mean?"
He said " all of the puzzle pieces fit together"

This bothered me. I didn't say much, just "oh..."
That was the end of the conversation, and I haven't brought it up since. But it is weighing on my mind.

Am I overthinking his response?


Keep in mind, men speak about 1/3 the number of words per day as a woman. And they tend not to gush. What he says makes a great deal of sense even if not tied with a love bow. Heck, on Valentines Day morning my DW asked me (after 30+ years) "Do you still love me?" and I said "Of course I do, is there an alternative?" and she said "Yes, but it will cost you a fortune". I gave her a kiss and poured a cup of coffee.
[Post New]03/06/2017 15:17
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Anonymous
Didn't this happen on an Episode of This is Us?
[Post New]03/06/2017 16:00
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you're reluctant to ask him directly about it, then you and he don't communicate as well as an engaged couple should communicate.

Tell him his puzzle comment was, well, puzzling. Admit that you might be overthinking it but ask.

Some men are just lousy at answering "Why do you want to marry me/why do you love me" etc. questions. If he's not demonstrative enough, you need to talk with him about what you would like regarding demonstrativeness. You've been together three years already and that seems long enough that you and he should be able to talk through something like that comment and get it off the table.


Do not so this do not start a conversation about this. It's stupid.
[Post New]03/06/2017 16:50
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Okay, in movie chick flick terms, what he said was "You complete me."

Does that make it make more sense?


Okay, guy PP here. I have more time for a longer answer.

"It's the right thing to do."
For a guy who is happy and satisfied with the status quo, they can easily just keep the same relationship, dating/live-in/whatever. But, most guys know that if you are planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, then the right thing to do is to marry them. Make that commitment. He's saying you're the right person and he realizes that means the right thing to do is marry you rather than live in sin.

"All of the puzzle pieces fit together."
Guys like when things work together. While love and a good personal relationship are important, they are not everything. Being able to communicate comfortably, co-habitate comfortably, enjoy spending time together, handle each others' quirks, live with the others' work commitment/pasttime/friends/family are also very important. Each of these is a puzzle piece. Some guys are happy when 80% of the puzzle works. But when *ALL* of the puzzle pieces fit together, it's really a good sign. This means that you've ticked off all of the boxes that he feels makes for a perfect partner for him. Guys don't mention when they've "settled" for some or most of the puzzle pieces. If he is willing to say all the pieces fit together that's a really good sign.

And don't overanalyze or overtalk this. For the woman who suggested that you be frank and say his comment was puzzling and talking to him about being more demonstrative, etc. If you really want this relationship and marriage, then don't open that conversation unless you already talk to him about your feelings, ask him for more openness, ask him to explain what he means. That type of questioning comes off as needing, demanding and nagging and turns off most guys who really don't want to talk about their relationships, their emotions and have to analyze and explain things. If you do that, you will find that some of those puzzle pieces that looked like they fit are actually the wrong pieces and you may no longer be the complete fit for him. Just my 2 cents.
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