Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I think 23 is the right age to get married. I had my college degree. I'm 30 now with more than 2 kids.

Yes, we weren't completely financially stable for a few years, but we are now.

Meanwhile we were able to have as many kids as we wanted, all born healthy, enjoy our youth together.

Way too young for most people. They will be completely different people in 10 years and may be very unhappy with their choice. Plus, you will miss out on your youth and have a midlife crisis at 35.

I got married later and have no truck with arguing which is better as I could not give less of a shit what others do or when they get married.

But shouldn't someone always be growing and changing/improving? So they're not only a completely different person at 33 as 23, but also 43 as 33? 53 as 43? Or even, crazily enough, in year margins that don't add up to five or 10?

[Anonymous]

Their thirties? No. Forties and up - definitely yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but a lot of divorced moms in their 30s like to pretend they're somehow better off.

They probably are better off.

In what way? They have an uphill battle. Go by the "omg get married at 23" advice and you find yourself a single mom. Not sure how that's better than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but a lot of divorced moms in their 30s like to pretend they're somehow better off.

They probably are better off.

In what way? They have an uphill battle. Go by the "omg get married at 23" advice and you find yourself a single mom. Not sure how that's better than anything.

It removes the biological clock pressure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but a lot of divorced moms in their 30s like to pretend they're somehow better off.

They probably are better off.

In what way? They have an uphill battle. Go by the "omg get married at 23" advice and you find yourself a single mom. Not sure how that's better than anything.

It removes the biological clock pressure

But that wasn't the question posted by the OP. Is the 25 yo single mom of 4 more desirable than a 30 yo? Probably not. We all know that, which is why we don't have kids when we're 20 just to have kids.

[Anonymous]

According to two of men friends the good women are engaged in their 20s. They both have regret about the dating pool consisting of divorcees and “not marriage material” women, completely ignoring the fact that they too fall into one or both of these categories.

[Anonymous]

My friends and colleagues are all typical DC area folks with professional masters degrees. Almost no one was married by 24 - because everyone went to grad school and was career driven. Then there were marriages ages 25-34. The people who got married in that range ran the gamut of the awesome catches and total weirdos.

But by age 35, anyone still single (not in a long term relationship, so not close to getting married) had major baggage, flaws, etc etc. Sorry, just the reality.

[Anonymous]

59 here and still not married. Thank. you. god.

what I am tired of is all the former boyfriends -- now married/divorced -- who call and want to reminisce and say "Why didn't we get married?" and I reply "Because I am leaving for Paris again next week and I want to be free to render-vous with Frenchmen."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but a lot of divorced moms in their 30s like to pretend they're somehow better off.

If only I had stayed with my alcoholic cheating spouse. Oh, woe is me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went down the list of current posts in this forum. Page after page of dysfunctional marriages, unhappy parents, and selfish idiots. Yet it's the people who wisely opt out of settling for a hot mess who are undesirable. Okay.

Why Why WHY is the burden always on the mother?!
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920467.page

Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919989.page

If your spouse has mental health issues that are not fully controlled
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915424.page

I need a break
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920347.page

Anyone have a DH that’s just combative all the time?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920420.page

Husband insisted on having dinner at in-laws even though I was unwell
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/920414.page

s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919372.page

Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/919612.page

+1 haha

[Anonymous]

Has anyone else noticed that everyone that talks about marriage is equating it to having kids, and nothing about a partner for life, etc. Marriage usually doesn’t benefit the guy unless you want kids. If you don’t, stay single

[Anonymous]

Men no, women absolutely

[Anonymous]

For women marriage by 32 so then you can have the first kid before 35 because women fertility drop a lot after. Men can wait longer because they can be fertile until 50. Sorry but that is science and ivf is a last resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:59 here and still not married. Thank. you. god.

what I am tired of is all the former boyfriends -- now married/divorced -- who call and want to reminisce and say "Why didn't we get married?" and I reply "Because I am leaving for Paris again next week and I want to be free to render-vous with Frenchmen."

I want your life. I had no idea how much marriage sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but a lot of divorced moms in their 30s like to pretend they're somehow better off.

If only I had stayed with my alcoholic cheating spouse. Oh, woe is me.

That's on you, why did you get married to begin with