Anonymous wrote:We are doing it. I think, for me, it’s easier because I’d finally come to the realization three years ago that he wasn’t into me at all anymore. (This was after years of me asking if there was something going on, hormone levels, what could I do differently.). And so affection on my part just sort of died and we just kept chugging along.

It came to a head about six months ago, when he was forced to tell me some things. Which at that point I honestly didn’t care. I did care that my life had been hijacked, but that was sadness and anger about the past, not anything about what he felt he had to tell me at that particular point.

Our kids are teens. We decided to stay together. No lovers/hookups/etc. ever in the house. We talked a lot about if one of us fell for someone else. It’s really unlikely for me, I’m middle aged and I’m not interested in marriage again. I also can’t see it for him, but that is wrapped up in circumstances.

But, we’d stay together until the kids are in college at least. After that, we are friendly enough to coexist together for financial and general stasis reasons. If one of us does find someone and felt it necessary to be on their own to pursue something, we would split and figure it out then.

It’s been honestly a relief, to know I wasn’t crazy. And also really sad, because things could have been different.

Anyway. I haven’t gone out there myself, I really can’t figure out how. I’d like to spend an evening with someone who thinks I’m interesting, and finds me attractive. I’m lonely. Kissing, Business Time, sure, though I don’t know that I remember how. Like a friend with benefits I guess? But, it’s hard. We are not public/out about it to family or friends. I think about going to a bar and just, what, sitting there to see if someone looks single? I don’t want my face on an app, and I have to imagine men may be weirded out that I’m married and that my husband is completely fine with this.

So, about parenting, being together - it’s been fine. I think it’s better for us now that everything is on the table. Less avoidance. More just, okay, this is how it will be. We talk about it, are open. It’s been good in that respect. I think at some point we may need to tell close friends and immediate family. Individual therapy is happening. No need for couples unless we need help navigating something.

Of course, it’s early on still.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age
Male/Female

I'm a female in my 30s interested in dating men.

Anonymous wrote:I would like to start dating again, but don't know where to start. 2 years ago I used apps, and I met some guys, but honestly, it was so tedious. I'm open to using apps again, but I'm not sure I want that to be my primary method for finding men to date.

Where should I or what should I join to meet someone?

Anonymous wrote:I have been married 10 years. 2 kids
In the beginning we did it all of the time (as couples do). Over the years he has been into it more some times, and othertimes i have been.

The past 3 years however I have had a difficult time being turned on by him. I believe it started when an issue was very poorly mishandled by him (with regards to his family) and basically hung me out to dry even though it was not my fault/issue. Since then, i feel i have lost some respect for him so now other smaller issues that come up only add to that feeling.
I don't feel supported by him or respected and really don't find him 'attractive' much.

The problem is that i am at a peak of wanting sex and it is frustrating to not want to do it with him. I find myself thinking about people on the street, movie stars anyone.
I don't know if i will ever see him the same way again after the issue and that is a bit scary.

Anonymous wrote:Before I go insane from lack of sex.

Late 40s female, sexless marriage for the last 7 years, no plans to divorce.

But I need someone to have sex with.

I do need to be discreet -- I have a hall pass as long as I don't flaunt what I'm doing.

Surely there must be an option to find someone in their 40s looking for something similar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have the same problem and don’t know how to say it without hurting my DH’s feeling. Sometimes I feel resentful toward him because of this and then feel guilty for feeling resentful.

Don’t feel guilty. It seems very few married woman enjoy sex (with their spouse). That’s what an affair partner is for.

Tell me more. How do people go about finding casual affair partners? Seriously, I don't want to leave my husband. I just want to have good sex with someone I am attracted to.

Anonymous wrote:I want to change my dating strategy. I've always dated one man at which has resulted in me
1. Becoming too attached too quickly
2. The guy becoming to comfortable with very little commitment

I think dating around could be good for me. How do you do that?

Anonymous wrote:cool story bro

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, those 2 pics represent the same style in different settings. You are not seeing yourself clearly.

Op here. I don’t dress too differently from my friend. She is more polished and puts more effort into her looks. She’ll never leave the house without hair and makeup. I often go to brunch in no makeup and natural hair.

I don’t understand how I’m attracting the hipsters and underachievers. I am well spoken, a lot more “sophisticated” than said friend in that I read a lot and am a policy wonk. She is simply...very pretty and into makeup and social climbing.

Anonymous wrote:Attractive or not?

Anonymous wrote:I'm horny but AP is pulling away to work on his marriage and DH is still fat.

Anonymous wrote:I just tried to take my husband’s pulse.

Anonymous wrote:How'd you meet your affair partner?