Anyone horny but don't want sex with DH/DW

[Anonymous]

I have been married 10 years. 2 kids
In the beginning we did it all of the time (as couples do). Over the years he has been into it more some times, and othertimes i have been.

The past 3 years however I have had a difficult time being turned on by him. I believe it started when an issue was very poorly mishandled by him (with regards to his family) and basically hung me out to dry even though it was not my fault/issue. Since then, i feel i have lost some respect for him so now other smaller issues that come up only add to that feeling.
I don't feel supported by him or respected and really don't find him 'attractive' much.

The problem is that i am at a peak of wanting sex and it is frustrating to not want to do it with him. I find myself thinking about people on the street, movie stars anyone.
I don't know if i will ever see him the same way again after the issue and that is a bit scary.

[Anonymous]

You're an idiot.

I wouldn't want to lose all that over a pos hole in the mattress. LOL...but that's me.

I'd get my priorities in order and you need some therapy if you're thinking along those lines...food for thought...

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a tool that doesn't prioritize you I don't blame you

[Anonymous]

If you wanna fix it gotta start at the root/foundation.
Pull him aside tell him you need to talk about the issue that was very poorly mishandled by him with regards to his family and let him know you lost respect for him after that and it's affected everything since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been married 10 years. 2 kids
In the beginning we did it all of the time (as couples do). Over the years he has been into it more some times, and othertimes i have been.

The past 3 years however I have had a difficult time being turned on by him. I believe it started when an issue was very poorly mishandled by him (with regards to his family) and basically hung me out to dry even though it was not my fault/issue. Since then, i feel i have lost some respect for him so now other smaller issues that come up only add to that feeling.
I don't feel supported by him or respected and really don't find him 'attractive' much.

The problem is that i am at a peak of wanting sex and it is frustrating to not want to do it with him. I find myself thinking about people on the street, movie stars anyone.
I don't know if i will ever see him the same way again after the issue and that is a bit scary.

stop complaining. speak up and deal with your issues in a straight forward manner like a normal adult would do. instead, you've created a ridiculous narrative in your head.

[Anonymous]

*Raises hand.*

[Anonymous]

At least half the people on this board

[Anonymous]

I keep saying this.. a lot of the times when wives don't want sex with their DH's it's because of some unresolved resentment/anger issues. It builds up. A lot of women don't want to have sex with people they don't like.

OP, yes, I have been in the same boat. I just take care of it myself. I have never cheated, or ever want to cheat.

I recommend you see a therapist because it will just fester, and the no sex will make thing worse between you two.

Time and changes in our lives made things better for us. We have sex more regularly now.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes resentment is used as an after-the-fact explanation for loss of libido. The libido was going anyway. The wife tells herself it's because of this or that transgression by the husband. But it's really just a hormonal shift from diminishing novelty, aging, pregnancy or the like.

[Anonymous]

Why not try to fix the issues in your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're an idiot.

I wouldn't want to lose all that over a pos hole in the mattress. LOL...but that's me.

I'd get my priorities in order and you need some therapy if you're thinking along those lines...food for thought...

Did you respond to the wrong thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes resentment is used as an after-the-fact explanation for loss of libido. The libido was going anyway. The wife tells herself it's because of this or that transgression by the husband. But it's really just a hormonal shift from diminishing novelty, aging, pregnancy or the like.

umm no. Why would we do that?

[Anonymous]

What if a spouse just changes a lot in ways that aren’t attractive and they don’t want to do anything about it? It happens. What if your spouse changes their look and you just don’t find appealing and it doesn’t everything but turn you on. And they’re no longer your type. I know someone with a husband who did this. Or they pick up a habit that drives you nuts and they refuse to change it. You still like them as a person but you just aren’t attracted to what they do.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Similar to OP, when I don't feel like DH has my back or is there for me, I don't feel safe enough emotionally to relax and enjoy. I take care of things myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes resentment is used as an after-the-fact explanation for loss of libido. The libido was going anyway. The wife tells herself it's because of this or that transgression by the husband. But it's really just a hormonal shift from diminishing novelty, aging, pregnancy or the like.

Total BS.

Did you miss the part where she said her libido is up?