I'm 50 & creating my first-ever online profile. What is your single most-important tip?

[Anonymous]

I have no clue how to create a profile to hopefully attract what I want, which is a regular date night (1x a week, max) with the same guy

(if it matters … I absolutely do not want a committed LTR that leads to, or feels just like, a marriage. I also won't do hookups, or 1st date/2nd date sex.)

Again, I'm 50 y.o., live in DC. Help?

[Anonymous]

Are you hoping that this 1X date night will evolve to include once a week sex or are you mainly looking for male companionship to eat out, go to movies, maybe dancing etc with? Or are you looking for a once a week night out on the town followed by sex and nothing more?

You know you don't want the relationship to progress to the next level of LTR but what level of involvement are you looking for?

[Anonymous]

Your limitations (one day a week max) sound boring, so either try to hide that fact or exactly specify it and see what kind of people you attract.
Your pictures will be most important. Have a good face picture and a full length picture in some relaxed situation. Keep it brief and focus on the positive.

[Anonymous]

Keep it positive, upbeat. No selfies.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that Op comes across as boring necessarily. She just needs to clarify what she has in mind. 1X week booty call is going to attract a different sort of guy (married?) than 1X week dinner/movie date would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping that this 1X date night will evolve to include once a week sex or are you mainly looking for male companionship to eat out, go to movies, maybe dancing etc with? Or are you looking for a once a week night out on the town followed by sex and nothing more?

You know you don't want the relationship to progress to the next level of LTR but what level of involvement are you looking for?

Thank you for the clarifying questions. I am looking for a guy who will want to go out at night once a week on some sort of date (arts, dining, rock climbing in the summer). Then we come home and have sex. Maybe spend the night, or not, depending on work schedules. Once or twice a year, we take a week-long trip together. If schedules allow, maybe we get together for a second time during the same week and cook a meal together, jog with his dog, whatever.

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular. Serious question that I don't mean to sound defensive: are there really 50 year old women out there in DC who have a lot more time than that to socialize in the evening?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping that this 1X date night will evolve to include once a week sex or are you mainly looking for male companionship to eat out, go to movies, maybe dancing etc with? Or are you looking for a once a week night out on the town followed by sex and nothing more?

You know you don't want the relationship to progress to the next level of LTR but what level of involvement are you looking for?

Thank you for the clarifying questions. I am looking for a guy who will want to go out at night once a week on some sort of date (arts, dining, rock climbing in the summer). Then we come home and have sex. Maybe spend the night, or not, depending on work schedules. Once or twice a year, we take a week-long trip together. If schedules allow, maybe we get together for a second time during the same week and cook a meal together, jog with his dog, whatever.

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular. Serious question that I don't mean to sound defensive: are there really 50 year old women out there in DC who have a lot more time than that to socialize in the evening?

The ones who remarry, yes.

[Anonymous]

If you are looking for something non exclusive and a guy who will do dinner and sex once a week, you can probably find that. It is more friends with benefits you want. No commitment, no relationship just an evening of companionship and sex. Make that clear in your profile and I am sure you will find some takers. You will likely find you get a lot of older guys responding,

[Anonymous]

I think you're likely to get guys who want no strings attached sex. Likely married and probably not up for week long getaways, cautious about being seen out in public with you.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can't ask for a dating pattern beyond the first, one date.

You can know what you want and steer a relationship in that direction, but you can't dictate the rhythm of a relationship that does not yet exist.

[Anonymous]

I also won't do hookups, or 1st date/2nd date sex.

If you actually say this, men will think that you do lots of hookups and 1st/2nd date sex. On dating profiles, "no hookups" is pretty much a code phrase that means exactly the opposite.

[Anonymous]

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular.

Well, it's not that seeing each other once a week is boring, it's the fact that you are letting someone (who potentially wants a romance with you) know that you'll be around only for 3-4 times a month. That's so dry and unromantic and makes it seem like there's nothing to really look forward to.
I don't know if you realize how hard it will be to connect with people who you see so sporadically.

Seems like you're looking more for a companionship. And that's probably an older age group or much older.

[Anonymous]

If you didn't want sex maybe you could hire a male escort to take you out once a week?

[Anonymous]

OP, I am late 30's, and after dating after divorce with a young child, this is what I recommend about your situation.

Set up coffee/drink dates near some of these activities you want to do. A lot of people will talk about what they "like" to do, want to do or what they have done (in another life), but you want to figure out if this person is a good match for your future.

I suggest chatting on the phone a little bit before meeting up. I'm not a big phone talker in general unless it's with family, but people are different on the phone than they are in person. But you want something with regular potential, so putting more stock in talking on the phone can weed out a bunch of people.

I also suggest not having sex on the first couple of dates. It's way easier to find bad sex looking for good sex and good company.

My two best situations like this... one was found on Tinder and was amazing for it's time. Another was found in person and was amazing for its time. I think they both are good venues to pursue either one at a time or at the same time. You're going to have good times going nowhere and experiences that make you feel bad. Even if you're not looking for a commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping that this 1X date night will evolve to include once a week sex or are you mainly looking for male companionship to eat out, go to movies, maybe dancing etc with? Or are you looking for a once a week night out on the town followed by sex and nothing more?

You know you don't want the relationship to progress to the next level of LTR but what level of involvement are you looking for?

Thank you for the clarifying questions. I am looking for a guy who will want to go out at night once a week on some sort of date (arts, dining, rock climbing in the summer). Then we come home and have sex. Maybe spend the night, or not, depending on work schedules. Once or twice a year, we take a week-long trip together. If schedules allow, maybe we get together for a second time during the same week and cook a meal together, jog with his dog, whatever.

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular. Serious question that I don't mean to sound defensive: are there really 50 year old women out there in DC who have a lot more time than that to socialize in the evening?

Um, yes. I am 48, no kids at home and can spend my evenings doing whatever, whenever. Are you unable to envisions situations different than yours?