So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
I think marriages work better if only one spouse is super professionally driven. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to seek out a partner who is somewhat different from you in that trait. But, you also have to see them as a person who may grow and change over the course of a marriage, or who may realize that their goals and preferences have changed over time. And you have to be willing to be an equal partner and make a plan together for how to deal with/respond to such changes. Most people are never going to be rich. That’s like “I just realized my spouse is never going to be a movie star.” Some goals are very low percentage possibilities. |
Anonymous
A thousand times this. My most miserable friend is the one married to the richest husband in our crowd. Every luxury she wanted and no emotional intimacy. |
Anonymous
Uh, you can put tutorial videos on a thumb drive but for f’s sake do not give them to her for Christmas! I can’t think of a more offensive Christmas gift. If you have to make it a gift, give it to her for your birthday. |
Anonymous
| I just realized my wife will never understand how hard I work |
Anonymous
It's better to have no intimacy and be rich or no intimacy and no money. |
Anonymous
Exactly. They also don't realize how hard I worked for 5 years in grad school, and how poor I was. Making something of yourself is a sacrifice. |
Anonymous
| My husband will never be rich and not will I but we both have dinner with our kids every night. I’m good with that. |
Anonymous
|
So I realized my wife is never going to be thin.
So I realized my kid is never going to go to a top college. So I realized I’ll never be a pro athlete. It’s called letting go of fantasyland, OP. You had a great dream of a man taking care of all your material needs. Not happening. Time to accept reality and improve your own life. |
Anonymous
Nah. If you're not getting good BJs, either (a) be the kind of man who deserves good BJs, or (b) outsource that function to a professional. |
Anonymous
pp here. My wife did not know me in grad school; we met right around when I received my doctorate. It has been my effort that has led to us having a MC/UMC lifestyle. Yet she complains about the cost of my morning coffee. |
Anonymous
| For a long time we were very middle class and we were very happy. It was a lifestyle I grew up in so I was very satisfied. Eventually we became quite wealthy but I can't say I'm happier. I certainly have more creature comforts but the only thing that does make me happier is our ability to help others who are less fortunate. |
taketothebank
Member Offline
Member Offline
| OP - have you really looked at what you contribute to the marrige? |
Anonymous
True, but it is sometimes hard in this area always being around a disproportionate number of rich people. |
Anonymous
+1. For every poster who says how bad it can be to be rich, DH is a workaholic, no emotional intimacy, etc. there are plenty of people who have the same issues AND they have no money. |
Anonymous
+1 If you want money, become “professionally driven.” |