So why should a man have to pay child support for a child that he may not have ever agreed to having, but not have the ability to offer to step up and be a single parent to a child who's mother doesn't want a child?

Anonymous wrote:No matter whether her husband is right or wrong to want to continue an annual tradition, OP is in for either a long, hard marriage or a short one, threatening divorce over something so simple. Marriage can be hard. An attitude like will certainly make it harder.

This is absolutely right!

It really depends on where we are and what we are doing.. he's not too social with strangers but if it is people we know that's when he's focusing more on them.. but I'm just as social as he is so I really can't complain. I agree with the PP that maybe a discussion would make a large difference.. he may not realize that he's doing this to the point that it bothers you, and may try to be more aware if you share with him.

hmm haven't had any problems here.. I grew up in Maine, and every summer it's BRUTAL up there... So maybe I just haven't noticed in comparison..

As a musician, and watching how much my 2 year old loves to sing and dance, I'd pick music. But I am intentionally trying not to think that way because both are fulfilling experiences, and my husband is more athletic than musical or artistic so I'm sure he'd like her to go the other way, and all that matters to either of us is that she participates in life in whatever way makes her happy.

I was wondering this also.

This all makes sense.. I don't really care. I have pretty much the same attitude with a sn as I would if I post anonymously, and no one knows who I am based on my screen name so it really doesn't bother me either way.. I've done it anonymously a few times when I was too lazy to sign in, and who knows, I might become anonymous, but I like the fact that I can go back and identify my posts that I've made and stuff.. I see why you all are anonymous and I can completely understand it, but I think for now, I like using my screen name!

Anonymous wrote:I think the women who think this scenario is fine are either members of financially irresponsible households, or women who believe husbands always get to call all the shots in a marriage, or both.

Wow... so because I think that her husband should be allowed to spend time with his friends travelling and doing something he's done yearly for years BEFORE they were married I must be financially irresponsible and a slave to my husband? I'm sorry but you're very wrong, and I think you are making pretty drastic assumptions.

What if the post say "my wife does a yearly girls trip for the past 10 years and even though we didn't have a honeymoom she still wants to go with the girls on her vacation, I can't believe she's being so selfish" - if we read a post like that, we'd be ripping the guy to shreds. But, because it's a guy and it's fantasy sports, he's a jerk and needs to take her on a romatic vacation to the Poconos ASAP.

Seriously?

On a side note: aprilmayjune, I like your style.

That's a good point, and thank you. I can honestly say I've been called racist, and apparently the things I've mentioned above, but this is the first time I've heard that on here lol

Anonymous wrote:They haven't even taken a honeymoon and he hasn't even met her parents, yet he has the money and time to fly to LOS ANGELES for a fantasy draft? Heck no. I can't believe that so many of you think it's okay. His priorities are off. They are newlyweds and he wants to fly across the country without her for a fantasy draft. No. This is not his best friend's bachelor party; it's not for someone's important birthday; it's a not a work trip with a fun weekend tacked on at the end. This seems ridiculous to me.

However, it's something that she knew he did yearly before they were even married.. She is threatening to DIVORCE him over this. I just really think that it's completely unfair to ask him to give something up that he's been doing yearly since before they were married. If this was something new, that he'd just decided this year to take on, I would COMPLETELY agree with you. I honestly would, only given her situation, however, she knew to expect this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man here, I'll easily say that flying to LA in these circumstances seem very bad. What sort of commitment does he have to the relationship, if a draft takes precedence?

No man would really say this. On behalf of my husband (who is a big fantasy sports fan) - you should turn in your man card.

lmao! -- you're definitely right though! (as well as your husband! )

Anonymous wrote:

Harry Truman has a sign in his office, "The buck stops here." The buck stops with Obama no matter how you try to justify his absymal failure of keeping his campaign promises; his leadership is shockingly lacking because he has had a majority in both houses and he can't even keep his own party in check. Open your eyes, the emperor has no clothes.

This. This is the argument I was making before, and I interjected that if he and/or wasn't spending all of our tax money funding the necessities for his vacations and the time spent enjoying them, that perhaps he'd have more time to figure out a way to actually come through on his promises.. This didn't get very good responses though.. I've never really considered myself to be a republican, I did not vote for Bush but I did have hopes for Obama until he actually started (not doing anything). He is a great talker.. He received a lot of support because of his wonderfully delivered and written speeches, but is really failing with his follow through.

I currently LOVE USAA.. I really hope that they aren't changing negatively as a company..

Is it really that bad? He's talking about a trip once a year to have some fun... My husband doesn't do this, and I've never really been close to anyone who has, so let me say up front that *I don't know a whole lot about this*... But if it makes him happy, and it's something he's done since before you were married (and you knew this) I personally don't see a big problem with it. It's not like he's going for the sole purpose of getting drunk and hitting up strip joints, and it doesn't sound like he's leaving you alone with a bunch of kids or anything yet, so before you guys tie yourselves down with kids, let him go have his fun, and you have yours.. Meanwhile suggest that next year his friends travel to him if you really don't like him travelling that far. As far as the other things go, you guys have the rest of your lives to take a romantic trip together, and your parents could always travel to you if you don't make it to them. I just don't believe in asking him to give up his once a year thing that he enjoys just because you're married now. I am sure I will get a lot of disagreements here, but that's just my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:And there are also places here in the US that need mission work. It doesn't have to be overseas.

That is a great point, and might be a wonderful compromise..

My husband works a lot of hours and makes the kind of money that provides the ability for me to SAH and care for our daughter. I have brought up me going back to work and allowing the ability for him to get a lesser job, but he doesn't want that. My husband takes a great deal of pride in his ability to provide us with our traditional (ish) family life.. I know that sometimes he wishes to work less hours or have a new job altogether, but he also wants for me to stay at home and not put our child in daycare.

I guess my point of sharing our homelife, is how will this affect your family finances, your work life etc etc.. I agree with the PP's that he really needs to look into his future so to speak to try to figure out how he will feel 6 months, a year, 5 years from now.. This is a decision that will affect all of you for quite some time so it's something that you all really need to discuss. Another PP made a very good point that even the craziest work schedule can allow for family time to be carved out of. My husband works 45 minutes away from our home on 12 hour overnight shifts, and needs to leave an hour and a half before his shift starts in order to beat traffic, but I have just worked my daughters daily routine around that so that we still have a family dinner and family time every day in the afternoon before he goes to work. Is it tough sometimes? yes, do we make it work? yes. I think it's great that you want to support what he wants. A supportive wife is something I'm sure he will appreciate no matter what his decision is. Just try to make sure you're both available for a good, open discussion, note pros and cons etc etc.. Good luck!