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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
husband and football draft...
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Anonymous
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Ok...He insists saying that it is something "cultural" the fact I think it is unacceptable his football draft bullshit every year. He always goes to some friend's house. Last year he went to Florida and we were not married yet (we were dating and his father was going through a serious surgery by that time) but he made it! Now, this year he said he is going to LA. Some of his friends don't travel for this draft but still enjoy it and I assume the don't go because they are responsible husbands and fathers. We didn't have a regular wedding ceremony, honeymoon and he didn't meet his parents in law yet because he was unemployed until 2 months ago so I think there are other priorities that MUST take place instead of this trip.(my parents live in south america)
all in all...I am making a lot of noise with this situation and even saying if he goes to this draft, consequences will come, and it means maybe the end of our marriage. He is trying to make me believe that I am crazy and exaggerated for acting like that. Please...am I the only wife who thinks this is unacceptable??? |
Anonymous
| Oh I totally understand about this draft issue. If it makes you feel any better my husband does two football drafts and a at least one or two baseball also. Only reason I don't have a leg to stand on complaining about it is that in the 5 years we have been together he has won 75% of the leagues he has been in. Since they have a large entrance fee that's a lot of money won. That said, if I were in your position and my husband was unemployed for a while and hadn't even met my parents yet, I would be less than thrilled about him flying around the country for the draft! |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't mind about the draft if he stays here. last year, one of his friends who didn't go to Florida was the winner! So...the trip is just an excuse to party and spend money...that is the problem...and the fact he doesn't see it makes me crazy.
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Anonymous
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Take this advice from a self proclaimed football widow. Do not make this about football, you will not win, plus since you knew this was something he was into before you married it is totally unfair to expect him to give it up or else "consequences will come". If this is really about the money, then focus on that. Let him know that you have no objection to his doing the draft, but that you think that the cost of him traveling to one does not make sense in your current financial situation etc. etc.
BTW, I will pass on another piece of advice (this from my marriage counselor), do not make threats about ending your marriage unless you are willing to see them thru, he may just take you up on it. |
Anonymous
| thanks pp for the advice. But as I wrote on the post above you, I don't mind about football passion...it is just this travelling thing that doesn't make any sense. |
Anonymous
| Yes, you are overreacting. |
Anonymous
Pick your battles ... and this isn't a battle you want to fight 
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Anonymous
| As a man here, I'll easily say that flying to LA in these circumstances seem very bad. What sort of commitment does he have to the relationship, if a draft takes precedence? |
Anonymous
| Didn't you know this about him before you got married? It's really not fair for you to try to change this now. And to threaten divorce over this? Completely immature. You've been married for one year and you really don't seem like you're in it for the long haul. |
Anonymous
| Massive overreaction. It sounds like the draft is a little vacation with friends. Hell, my DH took a 9-day tour of baseball stadiums in an RV with friends last year. He takes lots of trips with friends and I do the same. He's not attached to your hip. |
Anonymous
That's what you need to do. My DH is crazy about fantasy football and baseball. It's stressful sometimes so you need to get away. Go to a spa, or shopping with friends or whatever you like to do. |
Anonymous
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Just a regular DH here -- I enjoy Fantasy Football, but there is NO WAY I would fly away for a draft, and spend the kind of cash it must take to finance that hobby. If he was winning multiple leagues such that he could support you, that's one thing. But flying away for what is essentially a hobby? No way.
Don't threaten divorce unless you want to back it up, but drop this deadbeat loser before you have children. |
Anonymous
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OP here:
Thanks! and I know when we come here to ask for opinions and advices, we can sure read things that we don't want to, but for those who wrote I am overreacting (such as my husband!) for sure, had a regular wedding, honeymoon in Paris, Mexico or wherever and are doing great! but if you were in my shoes you would understand perfectly why I am so mad with that story...I just think that instead of travelling to LA for a draft, he could take me to Sao Francisco (which I am crazy to visit!) for our finally honeymoon...well...maybe I am selfish to think about it huh? and for those who said "didn't you know about this football thing before you got married?" duhhhhhh yes I knew it! but I also knew that any normal human being change with life and circumstances such as marriage, children, unemployment...if he gets together with his friends for this draft and party, get some drinks together and stay all weekend doing this damn thing is something normal...I don't care! I know he loves these things! but go to LA only to do that...excuse me but no...it is unacceptable and that is it! it is soooooo goood read some guy's opinions and see that I am not the only one that think this is too much. I am not a crazy bitch but a regular and responsible wife with perfect sense of responsibility to clearly understand that I am not single anymore... perdon my grammar mistakes...second language here... |
Anonymous
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My DH does his draft from our dining room table... His high school friends all live in the Boston area and they all get together at one person's house, but my DH stays put and does it online.
What he does do is let me know at least a month ahead of time so that I can be "on" with the kids as he needs to "focus." Did I mention that he's 1/3 nerd? |
Anonymous
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Luckily, my dh does not do this. I would cut his balls off first then divorce him if he did that fantasy football/baseball crap.
Pero, es verdad que los gringos stupidos hacen eso mucho. Lo siento. |