Not ready to become exclusive

[Anonymous]

Sociopathic behavior

[Anonymous]

If you sleep with someone that presumably likes you (enough to rub uglies) and tell them you will continue dating to keep your options open you will come across as a c u n …… oh wait!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

Guessing 45+
Surprised a run of the mill situationship takes up 5 pages of DCUM these days
Courting for months translation "stringing along"

Guy is clearly trying to lock down OP with comments about leaving OLD etc

Who courts for months without sex? Lots off here. Not surprised OP is divorced

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're right I don't understand what you're saying. You don't want someone with children and you don't see it working out with this person. But you want it to work out with someone sooner than later. So what in the world are you doing with him other than sex and sippin wine?

I don't want what he wants either: he has a child at home and can't offer me the partnership I want. I don't mind going out with him, sleeping with him exclusively if we are a good fit in that area - TBD (there is a huge wellness component in sex for me), having interesting conversations, enjoying joint hobbies and maybe some short trips out of town. But I want him to understand that if someone else asks me out, I'm officially single and within my right to do so. Until I'm married, I'm a free bird, for any man. I'm only faithful if I want to, and I promised to be exclusive, not because I owe anyone anything.

What on earth does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Am I the only who thinks OP's writing style and tone/frequency of responses sound familiar and that she is not a native speaker of English? Wish I could remember which thread(s) it reminds me of.

Maybe the sex-in-the car thread? Something from a couple of months ago that went on and on in large part due to the frequency of OP responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only who thinks OP's writing style and tone/frequency of responses sound familiar and that she is not a native speaker of English? Wish I could remember which thread(s) it reminds me of.

Maybe the sex-in-the car thread? Something from a couple of months ago that went on and on in large part due to the frequency of OP responses.

Yes, I think she is the eastern European woman who is apparently very high net worth, travels constantly with her 15 year old son, and has extremely specific sexual tastes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really sure what the problem is. Tell him: "I really like you, but I'm not looking for exclusivity right now". The ball is in his court after that. He'll either agree or he won't.

More completely, tell him this is not going to be a long term relationship as you have no interest in becoming a step parent. It’s an affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

Despite all the criticism you are getting, you should know that many men and women both feel the way you do and do stuff like what you want to do.

Just be honest.

I'm starting to feel like OP is looking for a way not to be honest because she thinks he won't sleep with her then and she wants that.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the info that would be relevant to him:

I don’t see myself in a longterm relationship with someone who has a young child: I’m looking for a longterm partner to share a residence with but I don’t want to co parent

However I am open to a shorter term relationship if there is chemistry, and I’m willing to be sexually exclusive with the understanding that I would still go on dates that don’t involve sex.

Thank you: do I say that before we sleep ? (Maybe there is no chemistry…)

Yes. Definitely tell him before you have sex.

To me it sounds like you will only get married if you meet someone who meets your standards, and in the meantime you’re willing to have exclusive sexual relationships with people whose company you enjoy. Sounds fine as long as everyone is aware that is the situation. You need to be very upfront out of fairness.

[Anonymous]

OP, is this you?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1078912.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only who thinks OP's writing style and tone/frequency of responses sound familiar and that she is not a native speaker of English? Wish I could remember which thread(s) it reminds me of.

Maybe the sex-in-the car thread? Something from a couple of months ago that went on and on in large part due to the frequency of OP responses.

I agree she is familiar, but I don't think she's the sex-in-the-car lady; that posters was pretty unhinged.

How about this one?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1158227.page

There have been a lot of threads recently about bedroom performance lately. I am sure she was contributing to those. There is a uniqueness in her posting style.

[Anonymous]

I had a relationship that was sexually exclusive but socially not exclusive. It was great. Sometimes we even told each other about our dates.

One time she told me about a guy who took her out for coffee who was a total buffoon. We laughed about him together. He came up again a few weeks later because he was very persistent. Then she got too busy to see me. Eventually she ended up with the buffoon. No hard feelings.

[Anonymous]

If OP was a man pitching this bs, he would be excoriated by DCUM for wasting her time/ leading her on, etc. Total double standard here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only who thinks OP's writing style and tone/frequency of responses sound familiar and that she is not a native speaker of English? Wish I could remember which thread(s) it reminds me of.

Maybe the sex-in-the car thread? Something from a couple of months ago that went on and on in large part due to the frequency of OP responses.

Yes, I think she is the eastern European woman who is apparently very high net worth, travels constantly with her 15 year old son, and has extremely specific sexual tastes.

Thank you, yes! Now I remember. I do think that this is the same poster. The writing sounds the same as does the...attitude, for lack of a better way to characterize it.

[Anonymous]

OP here with in update. We had an honest conversation today. I told him I enjoyed his company and was ok to move it to physical stage. But I’m not sure if I’m content about his timeline about co- habilitating (which wouldn’t be before 3 years from now for me or anyone else ), or being a step parent. That I’m ok with sexual exclusivity but won’t be ready for a fully committed relationship until I’m comfortable with his timeline and accept these limitations. He understands and respects that, and wants us to continue seeing each other. He would maintain sexual exclusivity and share test results if it gets to it.
So all good, thanks everybody