Is this petty to tell costs to a date?

[Anonymous]

A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

[Anonymous]

A mental turn off is a turn off. Move on. There are other fish in the sea you are more compatible with. There's a bean-counting accountant Dave Ramsey apostle out there somewhere who is just right for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

Why on earth would you have sex with a cheap-o who you don’t even like? You may make a lot of money but your self-worth seems to be in the dumps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

If you like him at all, just ask. “Is there a reason why you’re telling me the price? Just want to make sure I’m not missing anything.”

If you don’t like him then move on

[Anonymous]

Pension and medical insurance does not equal lots of disposable income. He's also being careful not to make any assumptions about your income.

I think he's being neutral, and you're weird for being offended about it. But if you can't get past that, then look elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Pension and medical insurance does not equal lots of disposable income. He's also being careful not to make any assumptions about your income.

I think he's being neutral, and you're weird for being offended about it. But if you can't get past that, then look elsewhere.

That doesn’t sound neutral to share with a date. Nobody did this before, and I’m in my 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

If you like him at all, just ask. “Is there a reason why you’re telling me the price? Just want to make sure I’m not missing anything.”

If you don’t like him then move on

I just said “let’s not break the bank, then” and didn’t go for that event with him, suggesting a cheaper option. He went for a cheaper one happily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Pension and medical insurance does not equal lots of disposable income. He's also being careful not to make any assumptions about your income.

I think he's being neutral, and you're weird for being offended about it. But if you can't get past that, then look elsewhere.

That doesn’t sound neutral to share with a date. Nobody did this before, and I’m in my 40s.

So... the man is always supposed to pay for everything and not tell you how much it costs?
Or you each take turns paying for whatever it is, without disclosing the price?

I'm a 43 year old woman and I think that's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Pension and medical insurance does not equal lots of disposable income. He's also being careful not to make any assumptions about your income.

I think he's being neutral, and you're weird for being offended about it. But if you can't get past that, then look elsewhere.

That doesn’t sound neutral to share with a date. Nobody did this before, and I’m in my 40s.

He’s letting her subtly know that he’s not going to pay for it, and he doesn’t want to book something that’s out of her price range. I think it’s thoughtful. She knows where she stands with him (she just doesn’t like it!).

[Anonymous]

If you have the money and you are going to enjoy the show, why wouldn’t you pay? Why does he need to pay all the time?

[Anonymous]

He's definitely sharing the amounts because he expects you to pay your own way. Up to you if want to do that or not.

Personally, I don't necessarily find sharing the ticket costs to be that weird, nor would I have an issue paying for my ticket on a first date via OLD because I think there's risk involved in both sides on that first meeting and you have no idea if there will be any chemistry or if it might be painful and awkward. If you've gone out several times already, I think the asker should pay.

But I think telling you how much drinks are is ridiculously cheap and petty. Even if I might buy my own drinks at a concert, the idea of someone asking me on a date and telling me advance how much drinks will be is so... small.

[Anonymous]

If you guys are not exclusive and may be casually seeing some other people, why would he pay for your tickets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's definitely sharing the amounts because he expects you to pay your own way. Up to you if want to do that or not.

Personally, I don't necessarily find sharing the ticket costs to be that weird, nor would I have an issue paying for my ticket on a first date via OLD because I think there's risk involved in both sides on that first meeting and you have no idea if there will be any chemistry or if it might be painful and awkward. If you've gone out several times already, I think the asker should pay.

But I think telling you how much drinks are is ridiculously cheap and petty. Even if I might buy my own drinks at a concert, the idea of someone asking me on a date and telling me advance how much drinks will be is so... small.

Oh, I don’t know. I’ve been to events where drinks were $25! If I’d known beforehand, I might have passed on the event, because I refuse to pay that much for a cocktail on principle.

[Anonymous]

As a guy, he sounds pathetic. It will only get worse for you. I can't ever imagine texting that to anyone.

There is nothing "wrong" with that type of dating relationship. It just wouldn't be my type. And it sounds like it wouldn't be your type either.

[Anonymous]

This sort of sounds like a leftover habit from a marriage/long term relationship.