Not ready to become exclusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s trying to control things and ensure she ends up with “what she deserves” this time after getting hurt - but can’t admit that for all her plans and schemes and “value” she’s presented through her lifestyle and virtue signaling- her only current option is a divorced guy with a young kid.

OP you may need to realign your self assessment based on what current market value seems to be signaling.

OP here - I’m actually meeting plenty of childless men in their 40s. Just haven’t met the one I would be equally attracted to. This is one of the reasons I’m wary going into this current situation with the single dad. He has a child, I already met his friends, and it just makes the whole thing more ethically difficult for me to navigate. I do realize the moral responsibility for giving him a sense of relationship, with all other life commitments that he has.

Op, as long as you are honest, I won’t give you a hard about the morals of anything you are doing.

But you do strike me as quite a drama queen. If you don’t want to be a step mother but want to share house in a couple years, why would you even entertain dating a guy with young kids?

We parted ways originally (partly because of the reasons above - I wanted to keep dating). But then he reconnected and pursued me, it started feeling right when he’s around

You didn’t mention that you dated before. Have you slept with him? Again- reassess your market value if this is the best you can pull.

We went out for couple dates, didn't "date". I get you are set on assigning market values etc., and appreciate your concern. The fact I have an ongoing demand from empty nesters or childless men within 5 years of my own age gives me a good understanding of my options. My previous relationship was with an empty nester 50yo man with grad degree and all the boxes checked. But human feelings is not the same thing as checking out the boxes.

Wait- you had a long term marriage and have been dating a year and have dated this guy before and maybe now again and you’ve had ongoing relationships (the 50 year old empty nester) in that year? You are indeed a busy bee. Sounds like you’re very thirsty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yet you’re continuing to lay out precise “boxes” for who you will commit to.

If you have so many options, I’d definitely go explore them rather than defend myself on here or ruin a nice friendship with a guy who rejected you previously and now circling back around. He doesn’t fit your boxes.

He didn't reject me: I texted him after first two dates it wouldn't work out but suggested to maintain a professional connection (we are from a similar field). Again, you are pressing here your agenda about "low value 40s women". Whatever makes you happy, bro

[Anonymous]

No, I’m a woman. I’m divorced and in a relationship.‘I’m not a
Bro.


I’m just going by your words. You wrote “I would have kept dating” which I inferred to mean he chose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s trying to control things and ensure she ends up with “what she deserves” this time after getting hurt - but can’t admit that for all her plans and schemes and “value” she’s presented through her lifestyle and virtue signaling- her only current option is a divorced guy with a young kid.

OP you may need to realign your self assessment based on what current market value seems to be signaling.

OP here - I’m actually meeting plenty of childless men in their 40s. Just haven’t met the one I would be equally attracted to. This is one of the reasons I’m wary going into this current situation with the single dad. He has a child, I already met his friends, and it just makes the whole thing more ethically difficult for me to navigate. I do realize the moral responsibility for giving him a sense of relationship, with all other life commitments that he has.

Op, as long as you are honest, I won’t give you a hard about the morals of anything you are doing.

But you do strike me as quite a drama queen. If you don’t want to be a step mother but want to share house in a couple years, why would you even entertain dating a guy with young kids?

We parted ways originally (partly because of the reasons above - I wanted to keep dating). But then he reconnected and pursued me, it started feeling right when he’s around

You didn’t mention that you dated before. Have you slept with him? Again- reassess your market value if this is the best you can pull.

We went out for couple dates, didn't "date". I get you are set on assigning market values etc., and appreciate your concern. The fact I have an ongoing demand from empty nesters or childless men within 5 years of my own age gives me a good understanding of my options. My previous relationship was with an empty nester 50yo man with grad degree and all the boxes checked. But human feelings is not the same thing as checking out the boxes.

Wait- you had a long term marriage and have been dating a year and have dated this guy before and maybe now again and you’ve had ongoing relationships (the 50 year old empty nester) in that year? You are indeed a busy bee. Sounds like you’re very thirsty.

I divorced a few years ago, but didnt actively date during separation and a year post divorce. Physical relationships were with 2 people and all fall within 1.5 year period of active dating. I don't think this is unreasonable or in any way "thirsty". It's not nearly close to what would men do post divorce, sleeping with 10 women in one year. But I meet on average 2-3 men in RL weekly, eg. close to a hundred a year

[Anonymous]

Right, so after 100 dates it seems like you’re asking if your best option is this guy with young kids who doesn’t meet your wants or needs in any way except perhaps for companionship and sex while you continue to look for someone better?

I’d say after all that dating, if you’ve got plenty of options, definitely pick a different one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I’m a woman. I’m divorced and in a relationship.‘I’m not a
Bro.


I’m just going by your words. You wrote “I would have kept dating” which I inferred to mean he chose not to.

I said "I wanted to keep dating ..(e.g. others)" - that's why we parted ways after the first two dates. And I told him that explicitly, he still came back a month after. First with a friendly meeting suggestion, and it went forward too well to be just friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s trying to control things and ensure she ends up with “what she deserves” this time after getting hurt - but can’t admit that for all her plans and schemes and “value” she’s presented through her lifestyle and virtue signaling- her only current option is a divorced guy with a young kid.

OP you may need to realign your self assessment based on what current market value seems to be signaling.

OP here - I’m actually meeting plenty of childless men in their 40s. Just haven’t met the one I would be equally attracted to. This is one of the reasons I’m wary going into this current situation with the single dad. He has a child, I already met his friends, and it just makes the whole thing more ethically difficult for me to navigate. I do realize the moral responsibility for giving him a sense of relationship, with all other life commitments that he has.

Op, as long as you are honest, I won’t give you a hard about the morals of anything you are doing.

But you do strike me as quite a drama queen. If you don’t want to be a step mother but want to share house in a couple years, why would you even entertain dating a guy with young kids?

We parted ways originally (partly because of the reasons above - I wanted to keep dating). But then he reconnected and pursued me, it started feeling right when he’s around

You didn’t mention that you dated before. Have you slept with him? Again- reassess your market value if this is the best you can pull.

We went out for couple dates, didn't "date". I get you are set on assigning market values etc., and appreciate your concern. The fact I have an ongoing demand from empty nesters or childless men within 5 years of my own age gives me a good understanding of my options. My previous relationship was with an empty nester 50yo man with grad degree and all the boxes checked. But human feelings is not the same thing as checking out the boxes.

Wait- you had a long term marriage and have been dating a year and have dated this guy before and maybe now again and you’ve had ongoing relationships (the 50 year old empty nester) in that year? You are indeed a busy bee. Sounds like you’re very thirsty.

I divorced a few years ago, but didnt actively date during separation and a year post divorce. Physical relationships were with 2 people and all fall within 1.5 year period of active dating. I don't think this is unreasonable or in any way "thirsty". It's not nearly close to what would men do post divorce, sleeping with 10 women in one year. But I meet on average 2-3 men in RL weekly, eg. close to a hundred a year

So in 18 mos you met two different men, dated them and slept with them and had “relationships” while also dating 100 other men?

Do you not work,
OP? I mean- what you’re describing is a full time job. It takes so much time to swipe and match and set up 2-3 dates a week while also building those two relationships and sleeping with those guys.

That’s the only reason I said you sound thirsty. You approach dating like a profession. I’m largely happy on my own so just can’t summon the energy to chat
Up that many men, or swipe for that
Long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s trying to control things and ensure she ends up with “what she deserves” this time after getting hurt - but can’t admit that for all her plans and schemes and “value” she’s presented through her lifestyle and virtue signaling- her only current option is a divorced guy with a young kid.

OP you may need to realign your self assessment based on what current market value seems to be signaling.

OP here - I’m actually meeting plenty of childless men in their 40s. Just haven’t met the one I would be equally attracted to. This is one of the reasons I’m wary going into this current situation with the single dad. He has a child, I already met his friends, and it just makes the whole thing more ethically difficult for me to navigate. I do realize the moral responsibility for giving him a sense of relationship, with all other life commitments that he has.

Op, as long as you are honest, I won’t give you a hard about the morals of anything you are doing.

But you do strike me as quite a drama queen. If you don’t want to be a step mother but want to share house in a couple years, why would you even entertain dating a guy with young kids?

We parted ways originally (partly because of the reasons above - I wanted to keep dating). But then he reconnected and pursued me, it started feeling right when he’s around

You didn’t mention that you dated before. Have you slept with him? Again- reassess your market value if this is the best you can pull.

We went out for couple dates, didn't "date". I get you are set on assigning market values etc., and appreciate your concern. The fact I have an ongoing demand from empty nesters or childless men within 5 years of my own age gives me a good understanding of my options. My previous relationship was with an empty nester 50yo man with grad degree and all the boxes checked. But human feelings is not the same thing as checking out the boxes.

Wait- you had a long term marriage and have been dating a year and have dated this guy before and maybe now again and you’ve had ongoing relationships (the 50 year old empty nester) in that year? You are indeed a busy bee. Sounds like you’re very thirsty.

I divorced a few years ago, but didnt actively date during separation and a year post divorce. Physical relationships were with 2 people and all fall within 1.5 year period of active dating. I don't think this is unreasonable or in any way "thirsty". It's not nearly close to what would men do post divorce, sleeping with 10 women in one year. But I meet on average 2-3 men in RL weekly, eg. close to a hundred a year

So in 18 mos you met two different men, dated them and slept with them and had “relationships” while also dating 100 other men?

Do you not work,
OP? I mean- what you’re describing is a full time job. It takes so much time to swipe and match and set up 2-3 dates a week while also building those two relationships and sleeping with those guys.

That’s the only reason I said you sound thirsty. You approach dating like a profession. I’m largely happy on my own so just can’t summon the energy to chat
Up that many men, or swipe for that
Long.

I work, travel, go out socially with friends, family etc. I'm pretty extravert and social person. Right now I'm responding to this while working on a parallel job task. Multi-tasking helps me to get less bored at work. Everyone is different. Some people are just more efficient and attract more guys with online profile - men do tell me I have very nice pics and even better in person.

Anyway, I'm going to stop responding to this thread, it's all clear to me how to proceed.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Okay.