How to hint sex drive in OLD?

[Anonymous]

I am a divorced early 40s woman. My exH was 14 years older and I feel like I wasted the prime 18 years of my life on being with someone with a very different drive. He was very successful, rich and all but cold, full of himself and distant as a person. I was never satisfied sexually ( he wasn’t giving); I wanted to dance at jazz clubs, explore European cities, go rafting and hiking. All he would respond “I am busy” and our vacations and holidays were spend mostly us visiting his much older executive friends. Discussing business, properties, wines and politics. I loathe that.

I live my life very actively after divorce: do mountain climbing, kayaking, rafting, work out every other day, travel internationally. I feel like my way of life requires a very active and driven person. I would love to share my interests with someone similar but I feel like it would be hard to fit a divorced man in my crazy lifestyle. He would have young kids and obligations. Or it would be a 50+ man, too old to have same athletic abilities, energy etc. I am sending my only child to college in 2 years being almost an empty nester. We travel with my (very athletic) son and my elderly mother so it feels like almost a full family except I no longer have a husband. She’s 70 but can easily pull off a black diamond hike. It almost feels like I regained my own self and my life after years of being subjugated and doing what I was said to do as a “trophy” wife.

Ideally I would love to remarry, spend a few years discovering the world and then have another child in my late 40s. I have an insane amount of energy and still develop my career. I don’t feel like a “retired” lifestyle of an older man or a divorced man with young kids would be an option for me. I am also starved for sex and dream of someone with high libido for daily sex and giving in bed. The best time I had sexually is right after giving birth when I had huge breasts and it felt super sensual.

Am I crazy or is it all normal ? What would I put on my dating profile , shall I look for a younger never married man ? Do I have chances of meeting one ? I am very good looking and thin but I am concerned about attracting only those who look for sex and commitment phobic men.

[Anonymous]

Why did you marry him? Were/Are you a Gold-digger? You could not possibly have married for love.

[Anonymous]

Do you really want to have another kid in your late ‘40s?

Also, why would you remarry? Aren’t you getting alimony payments?

[Anonymous]

Good grief.

[Anonymous]

You sound full of yourself and tiresome. Calm down. Life can still be exciting without this frenzied tone you got going on. People can still be exciting if they’re not living this frenzied life you’re describing. I am exhausted just reading your post and I’m active myself.

[Anonymous]

You want another child in your late 40s? How? Why? You can’t mountain climb and kayak with a baby. By the time the kid can do those things, you’re going to be the “old” person you fear.

What are your actual priorities?

[Anonymous]

Join a running, hiking, outdoor sports, or traveling group. My ex is 48 and still runs marathons usually finishing in the top 10 for his age group. Lots of very attractive and fit people in his running group. My neighbor is 39 and is in a biking group, they wear those spandex outfits and let me tell you, those men are in shape!!

[Anonymous]

You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

That stood out to me too. Late 40s, wtf?!?! She wants another kid at almost 50?

This is such a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Most men in their 40s still have a very healthy sex drive. And can and want sex everyday. That won't be your issue. The having a kid late 40s will be.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t know as soon as a man turned 50 he was feeble. Someone needs to tell those 50+ hikers, mountain climbers, white water kayakers, etc. that they’re too old…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Join a running, hiking, outdoor sports, or traveling group. My ex is 48 and still runs marathons usually finishing in the top 10 for his age group. Lots of very attractive and fit people in his running group. My neighbor is 39 and is in a biking group, they wear those spandex outfits and let me tell you, those men are in shape!!

Do this, OP.
I kind of understand where you are coming from. I have a similar DH and I also feel like I missed out on so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t know as soon as a man turned 50 he was feeble. Someone needs to tell those 50+ hikers, mountain climbers, white water kayakers, etc. that they’re too old…

Look. Women in their 70’s, like OP’s mom, can be active. Men tend to poop out at 51.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Join a running, hiking, outdoor sports, or traveling group. My ex is 48 and still runs marathons usually finishing in the top 10 for his age group. Lots of very attractive and fit people in his running group. My neighbor is 39 and is in a biking group, they wear those spandex outfits and let me tell you, those men are in shape!!

Yeah, this. Follow your interests first. Athletics or travel or whatever. Your post goes far beyond just "how to hint sex drive in OLD." You will waste more time on OLD like you wasted time with your ex. Focus on your interests and finding people who share them, and you have a better shot at finding a man who is maybe about a bit more than just sex. If you'd be fine with nothing but no-strings sex, sure, go with OLD, but don't expect a real relationship. (The "I found my husband on OLD!" posters will chime in that it's great, but I seriously doubt they are as busy busy busy and frankly "extra" as you are, OP.) As for drive, well, if you ever have been on DCUM before you should know that apparently men have tons of drive already and women supposedly have none, so any man with a pulse on OLD supposedly will be up for matching your drive, no "hints" needed....If all you want is a bang.

If you want to have that late-40s baby with a man with whom you're in an actual relationsip as opposed to a sperm donor or casual friend who knocks you up--to be blunt, the idea is pretty naive of someone who is a world traveller and supposedly sophisticated, to think that either your body or a potential mate is going to be on board with a late-40s baby. You're making huge assumptions you'll be in perfect health and will stay in perfect health to chase a toddler at 52 or whatever, or to deal with high school drama in your 60s. if you're as much a go-getter in career and travel and hiking and and and, as you say you are, you are going to realize you are tied down in your 50s and 60s with a young child at the same time you are (yes, it will happen) aging. I don't think you're thinking straight on that front, but I also suspect you are not receptive to hearing that from anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

That stood out to me too. Late 40s, wtf?!?! She wants another kid at almost 50?

This is such a troll post.

I love these gold diggers that marry for money and get an old stodgy dude and then after they pop out a kid snd get his $ they want sympathy. Who knew he’d not like to do the same things as someone 15-20 years younger or that his D wouldn’t work as well in a short amount of time after marriage???