What would you do if your DH or DW gained over 100 lbs during your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that if you’ve gained more than like 15 pounds over the course of a relationship, it means you are a crappy partner who is incredibly selfish and lazy. Put down the cheese puffs, go jog a mile.

How long have you been married?

NP. 15 years, female, forget and agree with pp. Just make fitness a priority and it won't be a problem.

+1 female, married 19 years. Stop eating after dinner, people!

I don't silly. Never have actually. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Tell her fat a$$ to lose weight or I’m getting a girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that if you’ve gained more than like 15 pounds over the course of a relationship, it means you are a crappy partner who is incredibly selfish and lazy. Put down the cheese puffs, go jog a mile.

How long have you been married?

NP. 15 years, female, forget and agree with pp. Just make fitness a priority and it won't be a problem.

+1 female, married 19 years. Stop eating after dinner, people!

I agree.

I want to have sex with someone reasonably attractive. If food is more important to you than my sexual needs, then let's open the marriage. You get your junk food needs met, I get my sex needs met.

I also don't want to spend the last 20-30 years of my life watching my partner slowly go downhill, die an early death, and then be sad and alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

When I'm even 10 pounds above my fighting weight, I turn into a fat b@tch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

My fat husband gets laid regularly and spectacularly. By me. Enthusiastically. Sucks to be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

My fat husband gets laid regularly and spectacularly. By me. Enthusiastically. Sucks to be you.

Different strokes for different folks. The thought of having sex with a fat person is not something I’m enthusiastic about because I’m not attracted to fat.

[Anonymous]

I guess it wouldn't matter. I'm 5 pounds heavier than when we got married 15 years ago, work out regularly, and my husband still won't touch me. So I guess he could gain all the weight he wants. Wouldn't change a thing. Not being attractive to him is just something I accept now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it wouldn't matter. I'm 5 pounds heavier than when we got married 15 years ago, work out regularly, and my husband still won't touch me. So I guess he could gain all the weight he wants. Wouldn't change a thing. Not being attractive to him is just something I accept now.

Was he always that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

My fat husband gets laid regularly and spectacularly. By me. Enthusiastically. Sucks to be you.

Different strokes for different folks. The thought of having sex with a fat person is not something I’m enthusiastic about because I’m not attracted to fat.

The thread is about weight GAINED during a marriage. Unless he was thin and sweet when you got married, I fail to see how your taste in fat guys is relevant to this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

The point is, a person can lose 50 pounds in a matter of months if they put their mind to it. It's amazing how much people can transform their bodies...

It would be much harder for an ahole to learn empathy and love. If you married someone because they were "hot" and you really don't value the person inside.....then they may be much better off w/o you.

Age has a way of doing some pretty unattractive things to our bodies even if you never get fat. Botox can only do so much. When you genuinely love and support someone you see the beauty in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

The point is, a person can lose 50 pounds in a matter of months if they put their mind to it. It's amazing how much people can transform their bodies...

It would be much harder for an ahole to learn empathy and love. If you married someone because they were "hot" and you really don't value the person inside.....then they may be much better off w/o you.

Age has a way of doing some pretty unattractive things to our bodies even if you never get fat. Botox can only do so much. When you genuinely love and support someone you see the beauty in them.

The only time I've ever seen a married person who gained 50 pounds then invest the effort to lose it is either while having an affair, planning for divorce, or right after the divorce. For some reason, married people who gain weight seem to never be motivated to lose it for their (current) spouse, whom they claim to love and cherish (...pass me another donut).

Idealistic statements about what somebody "could" do, or that aholes rarely change, or seeing somebody's inner beauty (while ignoring their outer unattractiveness) are just not very productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember: A sweet person who just needs to lose some fat, is still a sweet person. If they lose the fat, they will be a thin, sweet person - very attractive.

An azzhole, fat or thin, has no such quick fix.

Is your name pollyanna? No amount of sweet can make a fat person attractive. And I can't be attracted to somebody based upon their "potential" to be attractive... if he/she would only lose 50 pounds of ugly fat. Especially if you married that person when they actually WERE a thin/sweet person (like you said, very attractive) and expected them to actually care enough about you/themselves to not go changing in ugly ways.

The point is, a person can lose 50 pounds in a matter of months if they put their mind to it. It's amazing how much people can transform their bodies...

It would be much harder for an ahole to learn empathy and love. If you married someone because they were "hot" and you really don't value the person inside.....then they may be much better off w/o you.

Age has a way of doing some pretty unattractive things to our bodies even if you never get fat. Botox can only do so much. When you genuinely love and support someone you see the beauty in them.

The only time I've ever seen a married person who gained 50 pounds then invest the effort to lose it is either while having an affair, planning for divorce, or right after the divorce. For some reason, married people who gain weight seem to never be motivated to lose it for their (current) spouse, whom they claim to love and cherish (...pass me another donut).

Idealistic statements about what somebody "could" do, or that aholes rarely change, or seeing somebody's inner beauty (while ignoring their outer unattractiveness) are just not very productive.

I think you might be hanging around the wrong people because I have seen plenty of very happily married people gain and lose lots of weight during the course of their marriage. It's just fat. It's not a personality flaw - you can definitely lose fat.

I have also seen people drop weight after getting out of incompatible and borderline abusive relationships....probably because their cortisol levels go down once the stress of being in a bad relationship is over.

I suppose that people who have just thrown up their hands on their marriage and have decided to treat themselves to extramarital flings might also be similarly motivated to shed the weight.

[Anonymous]

I have lost my 60 pounds and my SO looks like he picked all of them up and...it bothers me and I am bothered that it does because he loved and desired me 60 pounds ago and loves and desires me now.