What would you do if your DH or DW gained over 100 lbs during your marriage?

[Anonymous]

The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

Oh, BS. I gained weight after my pregnancies and was in the process of taking it off.... then a doctor prescribed me a BP medicine which also happened to make me insulin resistant. Next thing I knew I was gaining weight even though nothing had changed about my diet. I went into the doctor and asked if the weight gain could possibly be related to the medication and the doctor said "No." I needed to stop eating all that fast food and try a liquid diet. I wasn't even eating fast food!

Years later I saw that the medicine prescribed to me DID in fact lead to insulin resistance which leads to....TaDa!...weight gain!

Blaming me for something that was beyond my control would have been abusive. Luckily, my spouse is a better person than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

Oh, BS. I gained weight after my pregnancies and was in the process of taking it off.... then a doctor prescribed me a BP medicine which also happened to make me insulin resistant. Next thing I knew I was gaining weight even though nothing had changed about my diet. I went into the doctor and asked if the weight gain could possibly be related to the medication and the doctor said "No." I needed to stop eating all that fast food and try a liquid diet. I wasn't even eating fast food!

Years later I saw that the medicine prescribed to me DID in fact lead to insulin resistance which leads to....TaDa!...weight gain!

Blaming me for something that was beyond my control would have been abusive. Luckily, my spouse is a better person than that.

Most people who gain weight do not have medical issues. Being upset about weight gain is as legit as being upset that a partner has stopped showering or brushing their teeth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

Oh, BS. I gained weight after my pregnancies and was in the process of taking it off.... then a doctor prescribed me a BP medicine which also happened to make me insulin resistant. Next thing I knew I was gaining weight even though nothing had changed about my diet. I went into the doctor and asked if the weight gain could possibly be related to the medication and the doctor said "No." I needed to stop eating all that fast food and try a liquid diet. I wasn't even eating fast food!

Years later I saw that the medicine prescribed to me DID in fact lead to insulin resistance which leads to....TaDa!...weight gain!

Blaming me for something that was beyond my control would have been abusive. Luckily, my spouse is a better person than that.

Most people who gain weight do not have medical issues. Being upset about weight gain is as legit as being upset that a partner has stopped showering or brushing their teeth.

And even most medical issues (like PP on BP meds) would not cause weight gain if the person simply makes the correct lifestyle adjustments (90% of that being diet, 10% exercise). To say it's "beyond my control" is just a blame shifting excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

Oh, BS. I gained weight after my pregnancies and was in the process of taking it off.... then a doctor prescribed me a BP medicine which also happened to make me insulin resistant. Next thing I knew I was gaining weight even though nothing had changed about my diet. I went into the doctor and asked if the weight gain could possibly be related to the medication and the doctor said "No." I needed to stop eating all that fast food and try a liquid diet. I wasn't even eating fast food!

Years later I saw that the medicine prescribed to me DID in fact lead to insulin resistance which leads to....TaDa!...weight gain!

Blaming me for something that was beyond my control would have been abusive. Luckily, my spouse is a better person than that.

Most people who gain weight do not have medical issues. Being upset about weight gain is as legit as being upset that a partner has stopped showering or brushing their teeth.

And even most medical issues (like PP on BP meds) would not cause weight gain if the person simply makes the correct lifestyle adjustments (90% of that being diet, 10% exercise). To say it's "beyond my control" is just a blame shifting excuse.

Agree! I have kidney issues. My weigh does fluctuate if I do not follow a very regimented diet. I slip up sometimes and suffer the consequences but mostly it takes a lot of planning and discapline to maintain a healthy weight. It’s possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

Oh, BS. I gained weight after my pregnancies and was in the process of taking it off.... then a doctor prescribed me a BP medicine which also happened to make me insulin resistant. Next thing I knew I was gaining weight even though nothing had changed about my diet. I went into the doctor and asked if the weight gain could possibly be related to the medication and the doctor said "No." I needed to stop eating all that fast food and try a liquid diet. I wasn't even eating fast food!

Years later I saw that the medicine prescribed to me DID in fact lead to insulin resistance which leads to....TaDa!...weight gain!

Blaming me for something that was beyond my control would have been abusive. Luckily, my spouse is a better person than that.

Most people who gain weight do not have medical issues. Being upset about weight gain is as legit as being upset that a partner has stopped showering or brushing their teeth.

And even most medical issues (like PP on BP meds) would not cause weight gain if the person simply makes the correct lifestyle adjustments (90% of that being diet, 10% exercise). To say it's "beyond my control" is just a blame shifting excuse.

If my doctor had told me to try Keto at the time I would have done it. But, that information wasn't available at the time. I was told to stop eating fast food and try a liquid diet which wouldn't have done a thing for the side effects of the medication that she prescribed to me. Eat brown rice, try whole grain bread and yada yada - none of which would have helped me.

I didn't go into that doctor's office looking for excuses or trying to explain away why I was gaining weight. I went there for answers and had a very strong suspicion that the medication had something to do with it and I was told it did not. I wanted to lose the weight but nothing I knew how to do was helping which I had never experienced before. Years later, I found out that I was right and the doctor was wrong. It felt sort of validating tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying problem is not having any pride in ones health and body. I would be turned off my a thin partner that ate junk food and layed on the couch all day too.

Oh, BS. I gained weight after my pregnancies and was in the process of taking it off.... then a doctor prescribed me a BP medicine which also happened to make me insulin resistant. Next thing I knew I was gaining weight even though nothing had changed about my diet. I went into the doctor and asked if the weight gain could possibly be related to the medication and the doctor said "No." I needed to stop eating all that fast food and try a liquid diet. I wasn't even eating fast food!

Years later I saw that the medicine prescribed to me DID in fact lead to insulin resistance which leads to....TaDa!...weight gain!

Blaming me for something that was beyond my control would have been abusive. Luckily, my spouse is a better person than that.

Most people who gain weight do not have medical issues. Being upset about weight gain is as legit as being upset that a partner has stopped showering or brushing their teeth.

And even most medical issues (like PP on BP meds) would not cause weight gain if the person simply makes the correct lifestyle adjustments (90% of that being diet, 10% exercise). To say it's "beyond my control" is just a blame shifting excuse.

Agree! I have kidney issues. My weigh does fluctuate if I do not follow a very regimented diet. I slip up sometimes and suffer the consequences but mostly it takes a lot of planning and discapline to maintain a healthy weight. It’s possible.

I don't have kidney problems but the DASH diet (assuming that's what you are doing) is probably the plan that you are going by. DASH for me with all the whole grains/lentils is not a good diet because those things spike my appetite. I do try to stick more with lean meats and veggies, eggs, some nuts and treat salty processed foods (like bacon, sausage) as an occasional treat. I also drink lots of water and bone broth.

I don't eat a ton of fat in my diet with Keto but if you look at what people eat in a day on youtube...they really aren't eating a ton of fat. Portion control is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

+100

*she lost the weight, which was gained during pregnancy. Completely different story than letting herself go or not working to lose the pregnancy weight. I gained 50+ lbs with each pregnancy and lost the weight. I know quite a few women who gained 30 lbs during pregnancy, got pregnant again without losing the weight first and ended up 50+ lbs heavier than prepregnancy. They say, "pregnancy changed my body". No, you simply gave up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

+100

*she lost the weight, which was gained during pregnancy. Completely different story than letting herself go or not working to lose the pregnancy weight. I gained 50+ lbs with each pregnancy and lost the weight. I know quite a few women who gained 30 lbs during pregnancy, got pregnant again without losing the weight first and ended up 50+ lbs heavier than prepregnancy. They say, "pregnancy changed my body". No, you simply gave up.

You were lucky that a doctor didn't stop you in the middle of your weight loss and prescribe a pill that would make losing weight practically impossible for you like mine did. I was within shooting distance of my prepregnancy weight when my doctor did that. Instead of LISTENING to me, she assumed that I just had no willpower. That made zero sense because up until her magic pill I had been successfully shedding the weight.

Believe me, before this happened to me I would see fat people at the mall and think unkind thoughts about them. Now I'm not so smug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

+100

*she lost the weight, which was gained during pregnancy. Completely different story than letting herself go or not working to lose the pregnancy weight. I gained 50+ lbs with each pregnancy and lost the weight. I know quite a few women who gained 30 lbs during pregnancy, got pregnant again without losing the weight first and ended up 50+ lbs heavier than prepregnancy. They say, "pregnancy changed my body". No, you simply gave up.

You were lucky that a doctor didn't stop you in the middle of your weight loss and prescribe a pill that would make losing weight practically impossible for you like mine did. I was within shooting distance of my prepregnancy weight when my doctor did that. Instead of LISTENING to me, she assumed that I just had no willpower. That made zero sense because up until her magic pill I had been successfully shedding the weight.

Believe me, before this happened to me I would see fat people at the mall and think unkind thoughts about them. Now I'm not so smug.

But you lost the weight! Your subsequent weight gain was due to medicine. The women I referred to used motherhood as an excuse to eat poorly. I hope your health is better now.

[Anonymous]

I watched a tv show where some British lady said that she could never let herself go like that. If there is no underlying health issue, I also wonder what happens and how do people not notice first 20lbs extra and do something right then. I'd probably divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

+100

*she lost the weight, which was gained during pregnancy. Completely different story than letting herself go or not working to lose the pregnancy weight. I gained 50+ lbs with each pregnancy and lost the weight. I know quite a few women who gained 30 lbs during pregnancy, got pregnant again without losing the weight first and ended up 50+ lbs heavier than prepregnancy. They say, "pregnancy changed my body". No, you simply gave up.

You were lucky that a doctor didn't stop you in the middle of your weight loss and prescribe a pill that would make losing weight practically impossible for you like mine did. I was within shooting distance of my prepregnancy weight when my doctor did that. Instead of LISTENING to me, she assumed that I just had no willpower. That made zero sense because up until her magic pill I had been successfully shedding the weight.

Believe me, before this happened to me I would see fat people at the mall and think unkind thoughts about them. Now I'm not so smug.

But you lost the weight! Your subsequent weight gain was due to medicine. The women I referred to used motherhood as an excuse to eat poorly. I hope your health is better now.

I've been doing low carb for a long time and I have lost some weight and controlled it for the most part. When I allow carbs to creep into my diet I gain weight easily. My body is dependent now on the medication that induced insulin resistance in me. It's not been something that I can get off of so easily. The good news is, I have been able to hold off developing diabetes (yay, me!). That is huge. The bad news is, I have not been able to ever get back down to my prepregnancy weight.

I discovered Keto recently and this diet has given me some real hope that I can get down closer to a "normal" weight through eating foods that promote weight loss in me AND exercising portion control by monitoring my macros. So far so good. Eff IR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife gained about a 100lbs during and after pregnancy. When she lost the weight she thanked me for never losing the passion/desire. Not hard to do because she is always a rockstar in bed. She could gain the weight again and I wouldn’t look at her any differently.

Your wife is a very lucky woman.

+100

*she lost the weight, which was gained during pregnancy. Completely different story than letting herself go or not working to lose the pregnancy weight. I gained 50+ lbs with each pregnancy and lost the weight. I know quite a few women who gained 30 lbs during pregnancy, got pregnant again without losing the weight first and ended up 50+ lbs heavier than prepregnancy. They say, "pregnancy changed my body". No, you simply gave up.

You were lucky that a doctor didn't stop you in the middle of your weight loss and prescribe a pill that would make losing weight practically impossible for you like mine did. I was within shooting distance of my prepregnancy weight when my doctor did that. Instead of LISTENING to me, she assumed that I just had no willpower. That made zero sense because up until her magic pill I had been successfully shedding the weight.

Believe me, before this happened to me I would see fat people at the mall and think unkind thoughts about them. Now I'm not so smug.

But you lost the weight! Your subsequent weight gain was due to medicine. The women I referred to used motherhood as an excuse to eat poorly. I hope your health is better now.

I've been doing low carb for a long time and I have lost some weight and controlled it for the most part. When I allow carbs to creep into my diet I gain weight easily. My body is dependent now on the medication that induced insulin resistance in me. It's not been something that I can get off of so easily. The good news is, I have been able to hold off developing diabetes (yay, me!). That is huge. The bad news is, I have not been able to ever get back down to my prepregnancy weight.

I discovered Keto recently and this diet has given me some real hope that I can get down closer to a "normal" weight through eating foods that promote weight loss in me AND exercising portion control by monitoring my macros. So far so good. Eff IR.

I’m a plant based diet guy but if a keto diet works for you, look into intermittent fasting.