My wife reacts with hostility when I ask for more sex
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Anonymous
No problem. I will leave you alone plenty. Don't my texts or throwaway gmail account because I'll be spreading my attention around from now on |
Anonymous
1. Reduce your overall parenting burden (as in "do less kid stuff") such that nobody is too tired for a normal/regular sex life. 2. You waiting until "kids are older" is quite selfish, and don't be surprised if he's moved on (sexually speaking) from you by then |
Anonymous
If this is it, you may consider that she might have a nutritional deficit or just exhaustion. Many women go into crazy mode with children, totally devoting themselves to the children and housekeeping and neglecting themselves. You might say "well, that is her responsibility, to take care of her health", which is true, but it is my husband's responsibility to pick up his socks, but it won't happen so I just help him there. You might get her to have a physical and make sure the lack of libido is not indicative of some underlying illness due to self neglect. |
Anonymous
Yep. The silence speaks volumes. |
Anonymous
Few too many give any thought at all to what turns their partner on. They aren't used to being sexualized, so they find the concept totally bizarre. Meanwhile, women are trained to view themselves through a sexualized lense from birth. Hence an obsession with keeping our bodies in shape, wearing makeup, and dressing up in lingerie. Just like a woman who does these things will elicit more sexual interest from men, a man who works to fit and fulfill his wife's sexual desires will get laid more often. It's fairly simple. |
Anonymous
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I am a wife who has lost interest in sex. With my spouse, at least. He is at best mediocre in bed and is also a giant, repressed prude. He starts with this weird baby talkish thing if he wants sex, or will make some attempting-to-be-funny "sexy" dance. It turns me off instantly. Listen, when I'm trying to bear the thought of having sex with you - because I am NOT interested and you do not satisfy me, ever - please don't add fuel to the anti-sex fire.
I wish I could tell him this, but he has quite possibly the worlds most fragile ego, about EVERYTHING. Commenting on lack of sexual satisfaction would mean he'd never be brave enough to try again for fear of failure. It's not that I'm not interested in sex. Trust me that there's a coworker I'd nail in a hot second. Mmmmmm. |
Anonymous
This. I JUST gave you a 30 minute BJ on Monday and you are pestering me again? Leave me alone, I want to watch my shows, drink wine, pass out and go to sleep. |
Anonymous
Yep. I think the entitlement so many men feel around sex adds to the problem. Instead of trying to find a way to seduce their wife, they make awkward jokes or just straight up ask, instead of doing anything to get their partner in the mood. It's almost like they dont even realize their partner is a sexual person, with their own sexual preferences and pleasure. They just think their wife should have sex with them because they want sex and wife is supposed to satisfy that like some robot, with no concern for her own libido. Just because a wife isn't sleeping with her husband doesnt mean she has no libido. LOTS of women read romance novels, lots of women watch movies like Magic Mike, and trust me, well all get turned on. The problem arises when we know that sexy times with our DH is going to feel more like a chore than an exciting, sexually fulfilling and satisfying act. |
Anonymous
...and get fat and bitter so you won't want me anymore and I can live with my pets. |
Anonymous
Maybe if she works really hard she can get as bitter as you since you seem to be obsessed with the concept of "cat ladies" and posting about it constantly. |
Anonymous
| Here is something you can try op. Every time you think about initiating sex go for a run or do some pushups and crunches. Yeah you're not getting laid but you are getting in shape. Best case she misses the attention and starts initiating. Worst case scenario you are much more desirable when you are back on the market |
Anonymous
This is actually wrong. Men generally don't expect "good sex" from women. Men just want to have sex with someone that they are attracted to. They don't really expect a woman to do anything other than be attractive. Men bring their own sex. Women, in the other hand, view sex as a male performance, where men may "give" them an orgasm. I think this difference in psychology is a factor in why men find it easier to reach orgasm. Men expect basically nothing once they are attracted. |
Anonymous
It's a two way street. If the sex is a chore, you are just as much to blame as he is. For some reason, a lot of women have this attitude where they basically absolve themselves of any responsibility for how sex turns out. If the sex is boring, it's always because HE isn't doing something right, instead of thing about how it as a team. |
Anonymous
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^It's not about sex being boring, it's about not getting off during sex. If you were not getting off during sex, no one would blame you for toning it down and not wanting it as often.
Clearly, since OP wants to have sex more often, I am assuming he is getting off each time. If his wife is not, he needs to take steps to bridge that gap. |
Anonymous
| So hubby needs to get better in bed but he doesn't get any sex until then? How is he supposed to practice and improve his technique If he has no willing partner to do it with? |