My mom is upset over Thanksgiving plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your dad is in town on Friday, meet him them. Or tell him that you already planned Thanksgiving dinner but could they come in the morning? Normally I'd say can't everyone just be adults, but you invited your mom for Thanksgiving and her birthday and now you are trying to include her least favorite person on the day. I'm a little bit team Mom here. Plus, I wouldn't want to deal with the tension during Thanksgiving dinner.

Mom should be told very clearly that attempting to dictate to her adult daughter who she can and can't invite into her own home, and when, is flat out abusive behavior. Team GTFO, Abusive Parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would see dad some other time over the holiday and spend Thanksgiving with Mom alone, because it's her birthday.

It would have been better to keep Thanksgiving at your mom's as usual and not host with a baby.

This. OP are you insane to want to host with a newborn?

The original post said OP family usually eats it at mom's house. Just mom and OP family? I guess mom is local and dad/step mom are not. So there's 2 things here- cooking and eating. The mom might be cooking at her house and brnging it to OP's or some combo of cooking at OP house and mom house.

We have a yet to be determined location and time plus a baby grandchild.

[Anonymous]

So mean to your Mom! Make other plans with your Dad. What were you thinking? Meet Dad other time, NOT Thanksgiving!
So thoughtless to Mom on her Birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would see dad some other time over the holiday and spend Thanksgiving with Mom alone, because it's her birthday.

It would have been better to keep Thanksgiving at your mom's as usual and not host with a baby.

This. OP are you insane to want to host with a newborn?

The original post said OP family usually eats it at mom's house. Just mom and OP family? I guess mom is local and dad/step mom are not. So there's 2 things here- cooking and eating. The mom might be cooking at her house and brnging it to OP's or some combo of cooking at OP house and mom house.

We have a yet to be determined location and time plus a baby grandchild.

If OP thought having her mom cook dinner for her ex husband and his wife was a good idea, then shes even dumber than we thought. This can’t have been the original plan. But cooking with a new baby is also a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

That's what Mom is now planning to do. OP is now rethinking the horrible idea to let her dad crash the already planned party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

That's what Mom is now planning to do. OP is now rethinking the horrible idea to let her dad crash the already planned party.

That's fine. Mom can stay home and sulk. And should. OP can entertain her dad and his gf on Thanksgiving. If the mom changes her mind fine, if not thats fine too. The mom has zero priority over the dad, they are both equal.

Of course OP is concerned about continued emotional blackmail but she can tell her mom to stop and if her mom doesn't stop she can fo no contact until her mom acts reasonably.

Nothing the op posted shows any reason to other the father and exclude him from Thanksgiving.

If the mom wants to exclude herself that's up to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

That's what Mom is now planning to do. OP is now rethinking the horrible idea to let her dad crash the already planned party.

Mom made her choice now OP can cook and wait on her dad and stepmom. Sounds great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

That's what Mom is now planning to do. OP is now rethinking the horrible idea to let her dad crash the already planned party.

That's fine. Mom can stay home and sulk. And should. OP can entertain her dad and his gf on Thanksgiving. If the mom changes her mind fine, if not thats fine too. The mom has zero priority over the dad, they are both equal.

Of course OP is concerned about continued emotional blackmail but she can tell her mom to stop and if her mom doesn't stop she can fo no contact until her mom acts reasonably.

Nothing the op posted shows any reason to other the father and exclude him from Thanksgiving.

If the mom wants to exclude herself that's up to her.

I know you're probably trolling but nothing in the OP indicated emotional blackmail. The mom set her very reasonable boundary: if her ex-H (and his wife!) are invited, she's not coming. The mom had plans first. She obviously wouldn't have invited ex-H to her home where Thanksgiving was originally planned and it was then moved to OP's house at OP's request. It wasn't right for OP to let her dad invite himself, knowing that her mom would not have anticipated spending a holiday with him. But I think OP will correct this by inviting dad on another day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

That's what Mom is now planning to do. OP is now rethinking the horrible idea to let her dad crash the already planned party.

That's fine. Mom can stay home and sulk. And should. OP can entertain her dad and his gf on Thanksgiving. If the mom changes her mind fine, if not thats fine too. The mom has zero priority over the dad, they are both equal.

Of course OP is concerned about continued emotional blackmail but she can tell her mom to stop and if her mom doesn't stop she can fo no contact until her mom acts reasonably.

Nothing the op posted shows any reason to other the father and exclude him from Thanksgiving.

If the mom wants to exclude herself that's up to her.

I know you're probably trolling but nothing in the OP indicated emotional blackmail. The mom set her very reasonable boundary: if her ex-H (and his wife!) are invited, she's not coming. The mom had plans first. She obviously wouldn't have invited ex-H to her home where Thanksgiving was originally planned and it was then moved to OP's house at OP's request. It wasn't right for OP to let her dad invite himself, knowing that her mom would not have anticipated spending a holiday with him. But I think OP will correct this by inviting dad on another day.

Dad has just as much right to spend Thanksgiving with OP as Mom. Mom is just a jealous old witch. She wants OP to feel guilty and feel sorry for her.

Do not cave in to your mom's blackmail op.

[Anonymous]

Dad didn't even ask about TGiving plans....just said he's be in town.....NOT visiting his own daughter so yeah.....he kinda sucks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

It doesn't become emotional blackmail just because you keep repeating the phrase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team "why can't the parents suck it up for one meal"

+1. Especially for their daughter who just had a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't ask for permission to invite her father.or approval. It's perfectly fine to invite ones parent and current partner for a holiday.

She title her thread mom is upset.

Op, it's ok to let your mom be upset.

She's an adult. She will get over it. Cut the apron strings already

OP also didn't plan to invite her dad. He said he would be there for Thanksgiving. That obliged her to invite him to dinner. It's the height of rudeness. Some of you apparently were raised in barns. The right thing to do is tell dad sorry you have plans but can see you at another time. It's not ok to just let mom be upset about your dick moves. What's wrong with you?

OP wasn't obliged to do anything. She didn't complain about her father. She complained about her mom's emotional blackmail. Learn to read. The worst thing to do in response to emotional blackmail is to give in to it. Her mom doesn't get Thanksgiving priority because she is willing to use blackmail. She can stay home.

That's what Mom is now planning to do. OP is now rethinking the horrible idea to let her dad crash the already planned party.

That's fine. Mom can stay home and sulk. And should. OP can entertain her dad and his gf on Thanksgiving. If the mom changes her mind fine, if not thats fine too. The mom has zero priority over the dad, they are both equal.

Of course OP is concerned about continued emotional blackmail but she can tell her mom to stop and if her mom doesn't stop she can fo no contact until her mom acts reasonably.

Nothing the op posted shows any reason to other the father and exclude him from Thanksgiving.

If the mom wants to exclude herself that's up to her.

I know you're probably trolling but nothing in the OP indicated emotional blackmail. The mom set her very reasonable boundary: if her ex-H (and his wife!) are invited, she's not coming. The mom had plans first. She obviously wouldn't have invited ex-H to her home where Thanksgiving was originally planned and it was then moved to OP's house at OP's request. It wasn't right for OP to let her dad invite himself, knowing that her mom would not have anticipated spending a holiday with him. But I think OP will correct this by inviting dad on another day.

Dad has just as much right to spend Thanksgiving with OP as Mom. Mom is just a jealous old witch. She wants OP to feel guilty and feel sorry for her.

Do not cave in to your mom's blackmail op.

Yes dad has every right to make Thanksgiving plans with his daughter but he didn't. He just figured he'd maybe roll in to say hi when he was in town. Apparently meeting his grandchild didn't warrant a visit home so he'll take a chance he can swing by while he's in town for some other reason (probably to do with his wife). Hopefully, dad will be better about making Christmas plans with his daughter.

[Anonymous]

Why would you invite your dad and stepmom, knowing your mom would be there and they don't get along? I don't blame her for being upset. Imagine if your own child did that to you one day. You and your dh were no longer together, things weren't good between you two and he was remarried. Your kid says, oh by the way mom, my dad and his wife are coming. WTF, of course you'd be upset.

[Anonymous]

You’re being really rude.

You should see your dad the day after or the day before.