My mom is upset over Thanksgiving plans

[Anonymous]

It looks like the original poster is having her dad for come for Christmas instead.... I think adult should be adults in situations where they have to see each other under non-ideal circumstances like a child's birthday or a grandchild's baptism.... But if I normally host a holiday and am willing to go to someone else's house to make it more convenient for them. I would not be too pleased to find out my ex-husband is also going to be an attendance..... The daughter can honestly invite whoever she wants to Thanksgiving. It didn't even sound like the mom fussed much. She just said she wasn't going to go which I think is the adult and responsible thing to do. If anyone is wrong here, it's the dad and the daughter. The dad for randomly calling to say he's in town over a holiday weekend and it makes the daughter seem like an afterthought and then the daughter changing her plans with mom to make it work for Dad.... No wonder these two don't get along

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad’s only in town that one day??

I’d have him come over at 10 or 11 for coffee/bagels, then mom later that day for dinner at 4.

If dad complains, too bad. Tell him you are not making yourself miserable when you just had a baby - presumably he knows the deal and he & your mom have not been in a room in a while.

This.

Men are more normal and easy. If your dad can't live up to the men being more normal and cool then it's a red flag. Your mom being a women is entitled to being insane and difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad’s only in town that one day??

I’d have him come over at 10 or 11 for coffee/bagels, then mom later that day for dinner at 4.

If dad complains, too bad. Tell him you are not making yourself miserable when you just had a baby - presumably he knows the deal and he & your mom have not been in a room in a while.

This.

Men are more normal and easy. If your dad can't live up to the men being more normal and cool then it's a red flag. Your mom being a women is entitled to being insane and difficult.

What????

No. Maybe you didn’t read further, but parents did not even want to be in the same room for OPs wedding - the dad knows what’s up. OP had plans with mom for thanksgiving. Dad invited himself, knowing full well they have this acrimonious relationship & put OP in the middle, once again.

OP has spent the last how many years with mom on thanksgiving because it is moms birthday. Now dad says he wants to show up & play nice dad/granddad & meet child, knowing how he & grandmom have made OP’s last 20 years difficult by never being able to get along, even for her wedding?

Yeah, this guy is super normal & easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so Thanksgiving with my dad is a non issue. He’s going to come for Christmas instead.

Where does local single alone mom go? Have other siblings she can travel to?

[Anonymous]

You do what you want OP. When people get divorces it causes tons of social problems for their adult kids to have to try and balance. So just don’t. I don’t. It’s their problem, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so Thanksgiving with my dad is a non issue. He’s going to come for Christmas instead.

Where does local single alone mom go? Have other siblings she can travel to?

Why does OP have to solve for every holiday? She didn’t get divorced, her parents did.