Over 50 and Older sister not speaking to me for more than 10 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cuts off a close family member without good reason. Nobody.

When you hurt people, don't expect to get away with it indefinitely.

Your first paragraph is not a true statement. People cut off family members All the time for no particular reasons. We are born into a family. We don’t have to like all the family members. We can choose to leave the family or certain member in the family, and vice-versa. We can have reasons for our decisions or nine at all.

Not trying to say a relative is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to maintain relationship you don't want. In my experience, tho, the people who've cut off family did so because of toxicity and they can't take it anymore. Why would you want to cut off family for any other reason? Simply because you're not interested in a relationship? IDK anyone who has ever cut off family like this, although I've known families that drifted apart.

[Anonymous]

I'm very susceptible to being bullied by other women in the workplace. I have no women friends in my life.

Yea. You’re the problem here. Can’t imagine the truths your sister would say if she was posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm very susceptible to being bullied by other women in the workplace. I have no women friends in my life.

Yea. You’re the problem here. Can’t imagine the truths your sister would say if she was posting here.

Go away. (Not OP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gone off the rails.

Well it’s certainty not providing the chorus of validation that OP was hoping for.

I don't need validation from random strangers posting on an internet.

I also most likely won't go to therapy. I went to a grief counselor when my mother died.

There were a few people who actually read my post, and they provided helpful insight and feedback.

Until this post and discussion, I really hadn't thought much about how my sister was born with a disability and wore the corrective leg braces and used crutches. There's a photo of me as a baby, with my parents, and my sister is sitting there with this look of total despair on her face. Her legs are fine at this point, but my parents probably thought that a four year age difference between us would be enough for her to be able to adjust to having a younger sibling, after being the first grand child in the family.

OP ignore these haters. I also have an older sister who never got over the narcissistic injury of being forced to have siblings and still hates me for being born. She seriously blames everything bad that happened in her life on that event and has taken it out on me in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gone off the rails.

Well it’s certainty not providing the chorus of validation that OP was hoping for.

I don't need validation from random strangers posting on an internet.

I also most likely won't go to therapy. I went to a grief counselor when my mother died.

There were a few people who actually read my post, and they provided helpful insight and feedback.

Until this post and discussion, I really hadn't thought much about how my sister was born with a disability and wore the corrective leg braces and used crutches. There's a photo of me as a baby, with my parents, and my sister is sitting there with this look of total despair on her face. Her legs are fine at this point, but my parents probably thought that a four year age difference between us would be enough for her to be able to adjust to having a younger sibling, after being the first grand child in the family.

OP ignore these haters. I also have an older sister who never got over the narcissistic injury of being forced to have siblings and still hates me for being born. She seriously blames everything bad that happened in her life on that event and has taken it out on me in adulthood.

Narc diagnosis alert!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gone off the rails.

Well it’s certainty not providing the chorus of validation that OP was hoping for.

I don't need validation from random strangers posting on an internet.

I also most likely won't go to therapy. I went to a grief counselor when my mother died.

There were a few people who actually read my post, and they provided helpful insight and feedback.

Until this post and discussion, I really hadn't thought much about how my sister was born with a disability and wore the corrective leg braces and used crutches. There's a photo of me as a baby, with my parents, and my sister is sitting there with this look of total despair on her face. Her legs are fine at this point, but my parents probably thought that a four year age difference between us would be enough for her to be able to adjust to having a younger sibling, after being the first grand child in the family.

OP, I'm hoping you're not a troll and I'm going to try to say this as nicely as I can.

A single picture of your sister with "total despair on her face" proves nothing about anything. Absolutely nothing. There are so many other possible reasons for a toddler's despair, for example your parents had just told her she couldn't have a second piece of cake or a pony.

Also, speculating about your parents' reasons for the four-year-age gap is just beyond.

1-2 posters are pushing a narrative that your older sister couldn't stand to be dethroned. You seem to like this because it absolves you from all responsibility.

We could all speculate, too: younger children are often spoiled and attention-seeking, was that you? Or not?

You really need to see a real therapist. The grief counselor doesn't count. Your resistance to this is only understandable in the context of seeking validation from 1-2 posters and ignoring everybody else who points out your own bad behavior (talking to your BIL about your sister behind her back, changing stories even within this thread, and so on).

[Anonymous]

What "stories" did I change in this thread? None.

I have no friends or family in my city where I currently live. That's the truth. I do have friends and family in my hometown. These are people I went to grade school, high school, and college with. Are they "friends" where I can just call them up and hang out with them? Not really.

Some of you posting on here are so vested in making me, as the OP, out to be "wrong." What if neither I nor my sister are actually wrong? It doesn't help the fact that I reach out to her, she refuses to speak. LoL. I apologize, she doesn't accept. Did I murder someone? Was I an addict for years in recovery, who stole from my family and who doesn't remember events? No. Is there an actual record of how I was there for both my parents when they needed me? Yes. Was I there for my sister at her major life events? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What "stories" did I change in this thread? None.

I have no friends or family in my city where I currently live. That's the truth. I do have friends and family in my hometown. These are people I went to grade school, high school, and college with. Are they "friends" where I can just call them up and hang out with them? Not really.

Some of you posting on here are so vested in making me, as the OP, out to be "wrong." What if neither I nor my sister are actually wrong? It doesn't help the fact that I reach out to her, she refuses to speak. LoL. I apologize, she doesn't accept. Did I murder someone? Was I an addict for years in recovery, who stole from my family and who doesn't remember events? No. Is there an actual record of how I was there for both my parents when they needed me? Yes. Was I there for my sister at her major life events? Yes.

Your "Lol" is so weirdly inappropriate. Do you think this is funny? Nobody knows you so why are you asking us if you were an addict? We have your version of this relationship of which you are the hero and she's the villain. The trust is likely somewhere in the middle. Nobody can tell you why your sister doesn't like you but she probably has her reasons. You seem a little off kilter so that probably has something to do with it. But your sister doesn't like you. You need to accept that. If you're not going to be honest with people here then there isn't anything helpful anyone can tell you.

[Anonymous]

For people saying not to contact my sister when I'm in town, I don't think that was the right thing to do, either. If I'm in town, and I'm at a huge gathering where other mutual family and friends will see me, then my sister would have reason to be upset, that I didn't contact her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people saying not to contact my sister when I'm in town, I don't think that was the right thing to do, either. If I'm in town, and I'm at a huge gathering where other mutual family and friends will see me, then my sister would have reason to be upset, that I didn't contact her.

It's not your sister's fault you have no other friends. Work on you first instead of laying all your problems at her feet. The common denominator in you lack of family, friends, other women in your life is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people saying not to contact my sister when I'm in town, I don't think that was the right thing to do, either. If I'm in town, and I'm at a huge gathering where other mutual family and friends will see me, then my sister would have reason to be upset, that I didn't contact her.

It's not your sister's fault you have no other friends. Work on you first instead of laying all your problems at her feet. The common denominator in you lack of family, friends, other women in your life is you.

Sounds like Dr. Phil.

I actually signed up for season tickets to the ballet, and then also to volunteer at the theatre. I feel like I can make friends through mutual interest in the arts.

I really do appreciate most of the comments on here. You've been very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What "stories" did I change in this thread? None.

I have no friends or family in my city where I currently live. That's the truth. I do have friends and family in my hometown. These are people I went to grade school, high school, and college with. Are they "friends" where I can just call them up and hang out with them? Not really.

Some of you posting on here are so vested in making me, as the OP, out to be "wrong." What if neither I nor my sister are actually wrong? It doesn't help the fact that I reach out to her, she refuses to speak. LoL. I apologize, she doesn't accept. Did I murder someone? Was I an addict for years in recovery, who stole from my family and who doesn't remember events? No. Is there an actual record of how I was there for both my parents when they needed me? Yes. Was I there for my sister at her major life events? Yes.

NP. Hi OP, I have no reason to doubt your version of events.
I know someone who is similar.

She is 70 years old and she has 3 siblings - 2 sisters, 1 brother. She bears grudges about things that happened 30, 40+ years ago! She hasn't spoken to her youngest sister (who is 63) since the mid/late 1980s.

She never married, never even had a romantic relationship and never had any close friends - except one co-worker she has kept in touch with.

She lived with their parents until both parents died. She was the only caregiver (she always refused to hire home health aides, a cleaner - claiming she could do it better).
She complained that her siblings never offered any help with eldercare, but on the other hand she pushed her siblings away on the occasions that they did offer assistance.

Now, at age 70, she feels depressed, miserable and lonely. She never says anything nice about anyone, be it her siblings, acquaintances or neighbors. The whole world seems bad to her. She can talk for more than 1 hour non-stop about how unlucky she is and about all the misfortunes in her life. She sounds like everyone owes her an apology for whatever real or perceived hurt they caused.
It's draining.
Some people in the neighborhood actively avoid meeting her in the street. Is is any wonder?

[Anonymous]

Moonstruck (2/11) Movie CLIP - Bad Blood and Curses (1987) HD

It kinda reminds me of this.

https://youtu.be/O66m3X5mYpU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What "stories" did I change in this thread? None.

I have no friends or family in my city where I currently live. That's the truth. I do have friends and family in my hometown. These are people I went to grade school, high school, and college with. Are they "friends" where I can just call them up and hang out with them? Not really.

Some of you posting on here are so vested in making me, as the OP, out to be "wrong." What if neither I nor my sister are actually wrong? It doesn't help the fact that I reach out to her, she refuses to speak. LoL. I apologize, she doesn't accept. Did I murder someone? Was I an addict for years in recovery, who stole from my family and who doesn't remember events? No. Is there an actual record of how I was there for both my parents when they needed me? Yes. Was I there for my sister at her major life events? Yes.

NP. Hi OP, I have no reason to doubt your version of events.
I know someone who is similar.

She is 70 years old and she has 3 siblings - 2 sisters, 1 brother. She bears grudges about things that happened 30, 40+ years ago! She hasn't spoken to her youngest sister (who is 63) since the mid/late 1980s.

She never married, never even had a romantic relationship and never had any close friends - except one co-worker she has kept in touch with.

She lived with their parents until both parents died. She was the only caregiver (she always refused to hire home health aides, a cleaner - claiming she could do it better).
She complained that her siblings never offered any help with eldercare, but on the other hand she pushed her siblings away on the occasions that they did offer assistance.

Now, at age 70, she feels depressed, miserable and lonely. She never says anything nice about anyone, be it her siblings, acquaintances or neighbors. The whole world seems bad to her. She can talk for more than 1 hour non-stop about how unlucky she is and about all the misfortunes in her life. She sounds like everyone owes her an apology for whatever real or perceived hurt they caused.
It's draining.
Some people in the neighborhood actively avoid meeting her in the street. Is is any wonder?

Are you trying to paint a picture of me? I didn't live at home with my parents. I've had romantic relationships. So, this isn't me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What "stories" did I change in this thread? None.

I have no friends or family in my city where I currently live. That's the truth. I do have friends and family in my hometown. These are people I went to grade school, high school, and college with. Are they "friends" where I can just call them up and hang out with them? Not really.

Some of you posting on here are so vested in making me, as the OP, out to be "wrong." What if neither I nor my sister are actually wrong? It doesn't help the fact that I reach out to her, she refuses to speak. LoL. I apologize, she doesn't accept. Did I murder someone? Was I an addict for years in recovery, who stole from my family and who doesn't remember events? No. Is there an actual record of how I was there for both my parents when they needed me? Yes. Was I there for my sister at her major life events? Yes.

NP. Hi OP, I have no reason to doubt your version of events.
I know someone who is similar.

She is 70 years old and she has 3 siblings - 2 sisters, 1 brother. She bears grudges about things that happened 30, 40+ years ago! She hasn't spoken to her youngest sister (who is 63) since the mid/late 1980s.

She never married, never even had a romantic relationship and never had any close friends - except one co-worker she has kept in touch with.

She lived with their parents until both parents died. She was the only caregiver (she always refused to hire home health aides, a cleaner - claiming she could do it better).
She complained that her siblings never offered any help with eldercare, but on the other hand she pushed her siblings away on the occasions that they did offer assistance.

Now, at age 70, she feels depressed, miserable and lonely. She never says anything nice about anyone, be it her siblings, acquaintances or neighbors. The whole world seems bad to her. She can talk for more than 1 hour non-stop about how unlucky she is and about all the misfortunes in her life. She sounds like everyone owes her an apology for whatever real or perceived hurt they caused.
It's draining.
Some people in the neighborhood actively avoid meeting her in the street. Is is any wonder?

Are you trying to paint a picture of me? I didn't live at home with my parents. I've had romantic relationships. So, this isn't me.

No, I meant your sister. I know your sister is married but there is a similarity in how people bear long term grudges, and think the world owes them an apology for stuff that happened decades ago. 10 years in your case.