Over 50 and Older sister not speaking to me for more than 10 years

[Anonymous]

OP, since you said you live a plane ride away from everyone in your hometown , I’m assuming your sister was more involved in elder care? Sometimes that can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you said you live a plane ride away from everyone in your hometown , I’m assuming your sister was more involved in elder care? Sometimes that can do it.

Plus OP admitted she didn’t help at all with dealing with her parents’ possessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If it's been 10 years since you last spoke with your sister how are there so many issues you're still complaining about. The dog? She didn't ask you to do something about it? Then every time you apologize she finds something new? But you haven't spoken in 10 years how many times is all this really happening?

She visited me in Arlington, VA ten years ago. That was the last time we spoke. All she had to do was actually communicate with me that my dog was bothering her. I would have asked a neighbor to watch him, or I would have left him at a sitter. That is the last time we spoke.

I've given up. I'm not doing this anymore.

Well that was quick. Just a few minutes ago you were genuinely heart broken. Glad you picked yourself up and are moving on.

Lol, this. I call troll on OP.

Naah, I think OP is genuinely a 13-year-old in a 50-something's body who is looking for internet strangers to validate her beef with her older sister who is clearly tired of OP's shenanigans. Otherwise OP wouldn't self-tell in so many ways.

Also interesting is how OP casually mentioned her sister was born disabled and used leg braces. Just glossed right on over that. Perhaps there's more going on in older sister's life that OP fails to acknowledge. Maybe life has always been that much harder for older sister who may have legitimate beef with perfect younger sister.

To be fair, OP did imply the leg braces were a way of getting attention for older sister. Not that she was faking a disability, but that the toddler was capitalizing on it. And then when she’s four, all of a sudden OP is born, braces come off, and there’s a bitter preschooler waiting to spend the rest of her life taking her irritation at the loss of attention out on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's been 10 years since you last spoke with your sister how are there so many issues you're still complaining about. The dog? She didn't ask you to do something about it? Then every time you apologize she finds something new? But you haven't spoken in 10 years how many times is all this really happening?

She visited me in Arlington, VA ten years ago. That was the last time we spoke. All she had to do was actually communicate with me that my dog was bothering her. I would have asked a neighbor to watch him, or I would have left him at a sitter. That is the last time we spoke.

I've given up. I'm not doing this anymore.

Well that was quick. Just a few minutes ago you were genuinely heart broken. Glad you picked yourself up and are moving on.

Lol, this. I call troll on OP.

Naah, I think OP is genuinely a 13-year-old in a 50-something's body who is looking for internet strangers to validate her beef with her older sister who is clearly tired of OP's shenanigans. Otherwise OP wouldn't self-tell in so many ways.

Also interesting is how OP casually mentioned her sister was born disabled and used leg braces. Just glossed right on over that. Perhaps there's more going on in older sister's life that OP fails to acknowledge. Maybe life has always been that much harder for older sister who may have legitimate beef with perfect younger sister.

To be fair, OP did imply the leg braces were a way of getting attention for older sister. Not that she was faking a disability, but that the toddler was capitalizing on it. And then when she’s four, all of a sudden OP is born, braces come off, and there’s a bitter preschooler waiting to spend the rest of her life taking her irritation at the loss of attention out on OP.

Spiteful, attention-seeking OP is definitely part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you said you live a plane ride away from everyone in your hometown , I’m assuming your sister was more involved in elder care? Sometimes that can do it.

Plus OP admitted she didn’t help at all with dealing with her parents’ possessions.

If the sister was the executor, the probate lawyer might have told her that she was the one responsible for taking care of all the personal and real property. It might have been easier for her to be responsible for all the items without another person in the house. If something goes wrong or things go missing when you’re the executor, you’re liable, so she may have been advised to take care of everything without the distraction of others having access to the house.

My cousin who was executor for her mom’s estate changed all the locks and didn’t let any of her siblings in the house until everything had been inventoried. Then she gave her siblings the list and let them all note what they wanted and worked with them to make a fair distribution of their mom's belongings.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you will be a lot happier if you move forward in life and make good friends who aren't related to you. Has worked for me, sometimes family is not where it's at.

My dh hasn't spoken to his sister in ten years and it's been a relief, because she is so difficult to deal with.

Your sister got all the possessions and estate after doing all the eldercare, so you can feel free to move on without feeling guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's been 10 years since you last spoke with your sister how are there so many issues you're still complaining about. The dog? She didn't ask you to do something about it? Then every time you apologize she finds something new? But you haven't spoken in 10 years how many times is all this really happening?

She visited me in Arlington, VA ten years ago. That was the last time we spoke. All she had to do was actually communicate with me that my dog was bothering her. I would have asked a neighbor to watch him, or I would have left him at a sitter. That is the last time we spoke.

I've given up. I'm not doing this anymore.

Well that was quick. Just a few minutes ago you were genuinely heart broken. Glad you picked yourself up and are moving on.

Lol, this. I call troll on OP.

Naah, I think OP is genuinely a 13-year-old in a 50-something's body who is looking for internet strangers to validate her beef with her older sister who is clearly tired of OP's shenanigans. Otherwise OP wouldn't self-tell in so many ways.

Also interesting is how OP casually mentioned her sister was born disabled and used leg braces. Just glossed right on over that. Perhaps there's more going on in older sister's life that OP fails to acknowledge. Maybe life has always been that much harder for older sister who may have legitimate beef with perfect younger sister.

To be fair, OP did imply the leg braces were a way of getting attention for older sister. Not that she was faking a disability, but that the toddler was capitalizing on it. And then when she’s four, all of a sudden OP is born, braces come off, and there’s a bitter preschooler waiting to spend the rest of her life taking her irritation at the loss of attention out on OP.

Yes I’m sure the parents were complicit in getting fake leg braces for a disabled toddler. Op is deranged if this is how she thinks it went down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Nobody cuts off a close family member without good reason. Nobody.[/b]

When you hurt people, don't expect to get away with it indefinitely.

This is not true. I have a family member who cuts many close relatives off if he has an issue with only one relative. It's bizarre to us but we can't do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Good for you for walking away after a lifetime of toxicity from your sister.  She is probably pleased to know she has caused you so much grief over the years.

Develop healthy relationships with other relatives (not BIL) where you can. Do not discuss your sister with them. Leave that for your therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you said you live a plane ride away from everyone in your hometown , I’m assuming your sister was more involved in elder care? Sometimes that can do it.

No, my mother died almost 20 years ago. I was still living there up until 2010, when I moved. You're assuming wrong. I was there for my mother. She was not an elder. She was in her early 50s. She was sick for about 3 months. I was actually the one who handled everything.

[Anonymous]

I stay in touch with my BIL on FB. We do absolutely have mutual friends and relatives. My sister and BIL are still close to my cousins and other family friends.

The phone conversation I had with my BIL was the first time I've spoken with him in probably 10 years. And he was telling me about his 95 year old mother and his other brothers and sisters and cousins, most of whom I am on friendly terms with.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I did go to a grief counselor when my mother died in 2005.

[Anonymous]

Look into joining an established woman's group where you have something in common with the members (gardening, hiking, politics, art, faith, etc.) This will give you an opportunity to find sisterhood elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into joining an established woman's group where you have something in common with the members (gardening, hiking, politics, art, faith, etc.) This will give you an opportunity to find sisterhood elsewhere.

This is a good idea.

I don't think my sister has a mental illness, but I'm not sure. No, it wouldn't make me happy, as someone wrote on this discussion thread. My sister has a master's degree in psychology. She never worked in the field, though. She didn't like it. My BIL is retired, and my sister chose to work part time jobs, like at a grocery store, to pay for extra stuff and to get out of the house. She really struggled with being at a job on time most of her adult life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look into joining an established woman's group where you have something in common with the members (gardening, hiking, politics, art, faith, etc.) This will give you an opportunity to find sisterhood elsewhere.

This is a good idea.

I don't think my sister has a mental illness, but I'm not sure. No, it wouldn't make me happy, as someone wrote on this discussion thread. My sister has a master's degree in psychology. She never worked in the field, though. She didn't like it. My BIL is retired, and my sister chose to work part time jobs, like at a grocery store, to pay for extra stuff and to get out of the house. She really struggled with being at a job on time most of her adult life.

Well this is mean spirited.