Over 50 and Older sister not speaking to me for more than 10 years

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06/08/2023 18:48

Subject: Over 50 and Older sister not speaking to me for more than 10 years

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:It's been more than 10 years since my older sister has spoken to me.

I've made several attempts. I don't live in our hometown. I've traveled back, and she has refused (through other relatives) to see more or speak to me.

Most recently, I was in my hometown this past weekend. I let my brother-in-law, her husband, and our cousins know when I booked the flight a month in advance.

At least now I know, that she really just doesn't want me in her life. I'm so done. I'm not reaching out to her again. I'm not asking her again.

What happened? What difference does it really make? I was born. She didn't like me from the moment I was born. Isn't that ever really a possible reason? Why does there actually have to be any other reason?

My sister has said the usual. That she won't see me or speak to me, unless I give her an apology. For what? LoL.

There's always some reason she wants me to apologize to her. I can list all of the reasons I have for being upset with her, but you would only be getting my side of the story:

1. She's late to our scheduled and planned activities. The last time I tried to plan anything with her was to meet to see the movie The Mummy in 1999. I bought the tickets. She was more than an hour late. I stopped making plans with her, after a lifetime of this.
2. She tells people that she's the "evil sister" and I'm the good sister.
3. She threw shoes at me across the hospital room when our mother died about 20 years ago.
4. She and her husband cleared out my mother's belongings, and she shared nothing.
5. When our father died, she sent me papers from an attorney to sign over everything to her. I did it because I thought she would start speaking to me again. She did not.
6. She speaks to everyone else in the family, extended cousins, etc., and she tells them a different story about why she doesn't speak to me.
.

There are two sides to every story, and despite saying "you're only getting my side" you go right ahead and give us your side.

It sounds like there's a lot you haven't told us, and also there's a lot you failed to do on your end.
1. You're still hung up over something that happened in 1999. Really? Also, you don't mention whether she had a reason like car troubles, kid stuff.
2. It sounds like she's laughing off how you've tagged her the "evil sister" by badmouthing her to your friends and family. Unless this was something your parents did when they favored you over her, which is equally bad.
3. There must have been some reason, good or bad, for her to throw shoes. Can you clue us in?
4. Why did you leave all the house clearing to your sister and her husband? Why didn't you show up to help?
5. Not sure what this is about.
6. Maybe she has lots of reasons not to talk to you and everybody gets a piece of the reasons.

I mean, just reading between the lines, your sister might (or might not) have good reason to avoid you. TBH I avoid my sister like the plague because the day we brought my mom home for hospice, she shoved me into a bookcase and screamed abuse at me for two hours. But she's developed a list of grievances that never happened (no, I never badmouthed her marriage) to tell all our mutual friends.