Dad’s girlfriend has officially taken over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With that attitude, I can't imagine why she doesn't want to spend time with you.

What’s wrong with OP’s attitude? I think OP sounds more than reasonable. Are you dad’s GF?

Read the post again. Does that sound like someone who is pleasant to be around? You don't think that's going to come out other ways?

Ops post sounds fine.

Did you read it?

"If he comes over, she calls nonstop because she “needs” him to come home and open a jar or whatever."

"I really never thought he would let a woman control him this much."

She's unhinged, and her later post on inheritance sealed it.

How does being frustrated that the gf interrupts the few visits OP gets with him make OP unhinged? Maybe OP grew up with her dad coming across strong and independent so seeing him cater to his partner is a huge change for OP and her siblings.

You come across like a new partner who wants the previous family to disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With that attitude, I can't imagine why she doesn't want to spend time with you.

OP doesn’t have an attitude. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With that attitude, I can't imagine why she doesn't want to spend time with you.

What’s wrong with OP’s attitude? I think OP sounds more than reasonable. Are you dad’s GF?

Read the post again. Does that sound like someone who is pleasant to be around? You don't think that's going to come out other ways?

Ops post sounds fine.

Did you read it?

"If he comes over, she calls nonstop because she “needs” him to come home and open a jar or whatever."

"I really never thought he would let a woman control him this much."

She's unhinged, and her later post on inheritance sealed it.

How does being frustrated that the gf interrupts the few visits OP gets with him make OP unhinged? Maybe OP grew up with her dad coming across strong and independent so seeing him cater to his partner is a huge change for OP and her siblings.

You come across like a new partner who wants the previous family to disappear.

A calm and rational person would not use the phrase "let a woman control him." Come on, you know that.

And her belief that she should get to control her father's money is absurd and shockingly entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With that attitude, I can't imagine why she doesn't want to spend time with you.

What’s wrong with OP’s attitude? I think OP sounds more than reasonable. Are you dad’s GF?

Read the post again. Does that sound like someone who is pleasant to be around? You don't think that's going to come out other ways?

Ops post sounds fine.

Did you read it?

"If he comes over, she calls nonstop because she “needs” him to come home and open a jar or whatever."

"I really never thought he would let a woman control him this much."

She's unhinged, and her later post on inheritance sealed it.

How does being frustrated that the gf interrupts the few visits OP gets with him make OP unhinged? Maybe OP grew up with her dad coming across strong and independent so seeing him cater to his partner is a huge change for OP and her siblings.

You come across like a new partner who wants the previous family to disappear.

A calm and rational person would not use the phrase "let a woman control him." Come on, you know that.

And her belief that she should get to control her father's money is absurd and shockingly entitled.

NP. Just stop. Nobody agrees with you.

[Anonymous]

Read the post again. Does that sound like someone who is pleasant to be around? You don't think that's going to come out other ways?

NP. You are the one that sounds awful - looking for negativity where there is none. I suspect you are the gf or someone in that position. The OP seems way more reasonable than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Read the post again. Does that sound like someone who is pleasant to be around? You don't think that's going to come out other ways?

NP. You are the one that sounds awful - looking for negativity where there is none. I suspect you are the gf or someone in that position. The OP seems way more reasonable than you.

You think it is reasonable for the OP to expect to be able to control her father's money? To say nothing of the oddly misogynistic remark.

The OP is clearly unhinged and should viewed as an unreliable narrator here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Confront him before it’s too late.

You have nothing to lose. Take the high road and you’ll be watching all his stuff go to her kids, and you’ll be begging for th photo albums.

lol. Yeah, going after the inheritance is definitely the way to rebuild a relationship.

OP. So for inheritance, I don’t necessarily care about the money itself. If he chose to leave everything to my siblings and nothing to me, I’d be fine with that because it’s staying in the family and I trust my siblings not to squander it.

But I do have a real problem if he leaves everything to her and her kids. She doesn’t work, so it’s a very real possibility she could convince him to leave her our childhood house so she has a place to stay, leave her money for her kids’ college tuition (they are high school age), etc.

I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

But more importantly, I want to be able to see my dad. I want him to be able to see his grandkids without it being an issue with her.

So, you don't necessarily want the money, but you definitely don't want her to have it.

You do realize it isn't your money, right?

You sound incredibly toxic. No doubt this also comes out when you're interacting with her (or not interacting with her).

I don't think this is a toxic take? A lot of adult children understand they aren't entitled to an inheritance but would be mad if the money was given to dad's side chick's kids.

[Anonymous]

Where's the former wife/mother? Alive or dead?

[Anonymous]

Did you read it?

"If he comes over, she calls nonstop because she “needs” him to come home and open a jar or whatever."

"I really never thought he would let a woman control him this much."

She's unhinged, and her later post on inheritance sealed it.

You are completely wacko and exhibiting some crazy projection - this thread is full of people telling you that. Self-reflect and try to get in touch with reality. OP is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With that attitude, I can't imagine why she doesn't want to spend time with you.

What’s wrong with OP’s attitude? I think OP sounds more than reasonable. Are you dad’s GF?

Read the post again. Does that sound like someone who is pleasant to be around? You don't think that's going to come out other ways?

I think OP sounds fine to me. You, on the other hand, I am not sure.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Confront him before it’s too late.

You have nothing to lose. Take the high road and you’ll be watching all his stuff go to her kids, and you’ll be begging for th photo albums.

lol. Yeah, going after the inheritance is definitely the way to rebuild a relationship.

OP. So for inheritance, I don’t necessarily care about the money itself. If he chose to leave everything to my siblings and nothing to me, I’d be fine with that because it’s staying in the family and I trust my siblings not to squander it.

But I do have a real problem if he leaves everything to her and her kids. She doesn’t work, so it’s a very real possibility she could convince him to leave her our childhood house so she has a place to stay, leave her money for her kids’ college tuition (they are high school age), etc.

I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

But more importantly, I want to be able to see my dad. I want him to be able to see his grandkids without it being an issue with her.

So, you don't necessarily want the money, but you definitely don't want her to have it.

You do realize it isn't your money, right?

You sound incredibly toxic. No doubt this also comes out when you're interacting with her (or not interacting with her).

I don't think this is a toxic take? A lot of adult children understand they aren't entitled to an inheritance but would be mad if the money was given to dad's side chick's kids.

It isn't their money! They can give it to whoever they want. What did you do to earn it? In OP's case, it doesn't sound like she's providing much in terms of caregiving.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to work in the reality you're handed. Dad's not likely going to dump the girlfriend so direct confrontation is likely to backfire badly. So take that off the table. You have to accept that Dad's going to Dad and certain things like Inheritance are just going to also backfire badly.

I don't necessarily think this is the case, but I'm coming at it from the angle that I had a family member in an abusive and controlling relationship. And direct on confrontation absolutely was the wrong call and made her defensive and played into his narrative. So yes, even if abuse is a concern, being direct often goes quite badly.

So how do you keep the relationship in this state, keep communication open and keep an eye on Dad to make sure Dad is safe and healthy. I think you keep it open, you keep inviting, keep asking. You drop the rope on things like gifts. If Dad leaves early to open a jar, at least he came out in the first place. So my advice is just to continue to try. Keep the mask up around her and try.

[Anonymous]

Six pages, posters arguing and still no follow up answers from OP??? 🧐

Well done in Troll World.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Did you read it?

"If he comes over, she calls nonstop because she “needs” him to come home and open a jar or whatever."

"I really never thought he would let a woman control him this much."

She's unhinged, and her later post on inheritance sealed it.

You are completely wacko and exhibiting some crazy projection - this thread is full of people telling you that. Self-reflect and try to get in touch with reality. OP is fine.

This is dcum. This would be like going to a MAGA convention for narcissistic personality disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to work in the reality you're handed. Dad's not likely going to dump the girlfriend so direct confrontation is likely to backfire badly. So take that off the table. You have to accept that Dad's going to Dad and certain things like Inheritance are just going to also backfire badly.

I don't necessarily think this is the case, but I'm coming at it from the angle that I had a family member in an abusive and controlling relationship. And direct on confrontation absolutely was the wrong call and made her defensive and played into his narrative. So yes, even if abuse is a concern, being direct often goes quite badly.

So how do you keep the relationship in this state, keep communication open and keep an eye on Dad to make sure Dad is safe and healthy. I think you keep it open, you keep inviting, keep asking. You drop the rope on things like gifts. If Dad leaves early to open a jar, at least he came out in the first place. So my advice is just to continue to try. Keep the mask up around her and try.

Every once in a while a rational post sneaks in.