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[quote=Anonymous]I think you have to work in the reality you're handed. Dad's not likely going to dump the girlfriend so direct confrontation is likely to backfire badly.  So take that off the table.  You have to accept that Dad's going to Dad and certain things like Inheritance are just going to also backfire badly.

I don't necessarily think this is the case, but I'm coming at it from the angle that I had a family member in an abusive and controlling relationship.  And direct on confrontation absolutely was the wrong call and made her defensive and played into his narrative.  So yes, even if abuse is a concern, being direct often goes quite badly.

So how do you keep the relationship in this state, keep communication open and keep an eye on Dad to make sure Dad is safe and healthy.  I think you keep it open, you keep inviting, keep asking.  You drop the rope on things like gifts.  If Dad leaves early to open a jar, at least he came out in the first place.  So my advice is just to continue to try.  Keep the mask up around her and try.[/quote]

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