Self preservation Strategies when husband sucks but your staying together for thr kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so unfair to your kids to do this. Kids deserve to grow up in a loving environment, not a home seething with animosity and resentment. Please rethink this.

Kids deserve a home with their mother and dad, working together as best as they can. It’s never perfect.

[Anonymous]

Focus on your health and aging well - get fit if you aren’t already. It feels good when you look great and it might spice up your sex life (with your husband, if you still have sex). Bonus it might make your husband suspicious if you want to f with him for sucking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I'm ready to try the Laura Doyle method- I honestly hate him right now

Is there an equivalent doyle method for husbands, ie, with the genders reversed?

BZZZZT! Attempt at irrelevant Whataboutism identified and dismissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask yourself what you are doing wrong and how you can change. It takes two to tango.

Shoo, MRA.

[Anonymous]

I just decided to be the best wife that I can, even if it doesn’t feel genuine. I kiss him hello and make food he likes to eat and point out the good things he does to the kids, so they know what to emulate. I ask for help when I need it, and I am really specific on what it is that I need from him. I say please and thank you, and I give a lot of blowjobs.
If I’m going to continue to be his wife, I might as well be good at it. Just because he’s a crappy spouse doesn’t mean that I have to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband sucks but staying together for the kids. What are your self preservation strategies? No abuse, drugs or cheating involved. Just very different worldview and communication styles. We have tried counseling and we will do it again but I have little hope. I'm also not interested in breaking up the family unit so divorce is not an option right now. Kids are 10 and 13

Try to show him how to behave well by example, not by words. Be kind and polite forgiving and graceful for six weeks then report back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just decided to be the best wife that I can, even if it doesn’t feel genuine. I kiss him hello and make food he likes to eat and point out the good things he does to the kids, so they know what to emulate. I ask for help when I need it, and I am really specific on what it is that I need from him. I say please and thank you, and I give a lot of blowjobs.
If I’m going to continue to be his wife, I might as well be good at it. Just because he’s a crappy spouse doesn’t mean that I have to be.

Curious pp- what is his attitude towards you? You sound like a great wife so why isn’t the marriage going well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What helps me feel better is doing nice things for myself. Quality time with friends, classes, trips, etc. Feeling and looking good also helps. Limiting time spent with him or reading his messages. Choosing not to engage with drama.

+1 billion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband sucks but staying together for the kids. What are your self preservation strategies? No abuse, drugs or cheating involved. Just very different worldview and communication styles. We have tried counseling and we will do it again but I have little hope. I'm also not interested in breaking up the family unit so divorce is not an option right now. Kids are 10 and 13

It’s sad that you would model a dysfunctional relationship for your children. That’s not really something “for the kids.”

There are worse things than divorce. If you genuinely can’t fix it, divorce might be better for this kids in the longer term.

The only thing kids hate more than divorce is having to deal with moms new boyfriend playing dad and dad’s new girlfriend trying to be their cool friend. I guarantee kids would much rather have your “roommate model of marriage” than deal with stepparents and step sibling drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching your kids what to put up with in their marriage by staying together.

There is no abuse in her marriage, just conflicts and its a young marriage, with hassles of jobs, young kids, household etc.

Instead of teaching kids to quit and run as soon as honeymoon period ends and a tough phase comes, one can show kids how to take command, negotiate and resolve issues in a difficult situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband sucks but staying together for the kids. What are your self preservation strategies? No abuse, drugs or cheating involved. Just very different worldview and communication styles. We have tried counseling and we will do it again but I have little hope. I'm also not interested in breaking up the family unit so divorce is not an option right now. Kids are 10 and 13

It’s sad that you would model a dysfunctional relationship for your children. That’s not really something “for the kids.”

There are worse things than divorce. If you genuinely can’t fix it, divorce might be better for this kids in the longer term.

The only thing kids hate more than divorce is having to deal with moms new boyfriend playing dad and dad’s new girlfriend trying to be their cool friend. I guarantee kids would much rather have your “roommate model of marriage” than deal with stepparents and step sibling drama.

This is very true. I got divorced and a few years later remarried someone with kids. My stepkids *HATE* me - although they love my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just decided to be the best wife that I can, even if it doesn’t feel genuine. I kiss him hello and make food he likes to eat and point out the good things he does to the kids, so they know what to emulate. I ask for help when I need it, and I am really specific on what it is that I need from him. I say please and thank you, and [/b]I give a lot of blowjobs.[b]
If I’m going to continue to be his wife, I might as well be good at it. Just because he’s a crappy spouse doesn’t mean that I have to be.

You should be sainted. Can you come give all the blowjobs to my DH too?

[Anonymous]

Imho kids are better off in their own home (with parents who have different parenting philosophies and healthy arrangements but are kind to each other and try to reconcile their styles) than split lives in mom's and dad's homes dealing with their random dates, short term failed relationships or new step parents and their offspring.

[Anonymous]

*healthy arguments

[Anonymous]

*that is if parents can put their egos aside and try to make it work as good as they can