Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her.now I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I'm convinced you are a narcissistic pig.

Agreed. So much entitlement with this guy. Cheating is the only acceptable solution for him because it’s good for him. If you’re a jerk, I guess you never have to worry about doing the right thing. You know, why give women in your life any agency over their life path? Aren’t women put on earth just to please him? Just a super jerk.

She has "agency" over her life path. She has chosen her life path with no regard for our marriage. I'm not going to interfere any longer in her chosen path. She isn't losing anything in this arrangement. She doesn't want intimacy with me and I no longer bother her about it. It's all good, really. Who knows, maybe something will click in her head some day and the switch will be turned back on, the same as it got turned off and we will resume. I'm not counting on it, but I never saw this coming either so I guess it could happen. Meanwhile, I know you would wish a sexless life upon me that I would never wish on you. Or a blown up marriage. But I'll manage this how I see fit. I hope it never happens to you. Any of you.

My husband felt the same way (though our marriage still having sex 2-4 times per week 22 years in. After 3 years I just found out about his old almost 50-year old hag Ashley Madison whore with 2 teen sons. He's in a crappy AirBnB because I threw him out and he's spiraling out of control. He is in risk of losing EVERYTHING.

He also thought he could get away with it. Extremely callous and cocky like you. I have since found out everything. I told his mother, his only very close relative/like a brother (his cousin). All of our friends are mutual, most from me--neighborhood, etc. He is losing everyone around him. He will lose $, he will lose extended family (mine is very tight and does big Holidays). He will have nobody. Even his own mother and cousin are disgusted with him right now.

I have a great job. I am the one that has the great health benefits we use as a family. My greatest wish is that he ends up having to support that stay at home mom whore and then she goes out and f*cks somebody in their bed like she was doing with him.

When I finally get a name, I am going to make her world come crashing down too. This is the 2nd time she had an Ashley Madison affair with a married man with kids. Somebody needs to take her *ss down too.

So, buddy, you might think you are craftier than my husband. He is extremely intelligent, perfect SAT scores, high up in IT with own business and after 3 years he spiraled and I discovered on synced photo that was accidentally taken (one of those that you didn't actually take bu hit as you were doing something,) that he did not know about.

So I hope you rot in hell for doing this to your wife too. Health risks to her--stds and also safety risks...that woman's husband could find out and come after you, you could eventually snap and end up on your doorstep.. OR she could have a spouse like me that is going to make your life a living h*ll, tell your spouse, tell everyone about you...maybe even get a megaphone and drive up and down her block announcing she's a home-wrecking whore.

[Anonymous]

^ and if that Ashley Madison whore is on this thread. LOOK OUT! I'm coming for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Once your H cuts you off, I'll give you 2 years or less before you are banging pigs like me

A. My DH and I communicate and treat each other with respect, plus we take our vows seriously and have for 25 years, so
B. Neither of us will cut the other off, and
C. I have self-respect and need to live with myself, so I would ask for a divorce before ever cheating, and
D. I know better than to associate with narcissistic pigs.

Don't be so smug. No one plans on cutting each other off at the point of marriage, and people show themselves in unpredictable ways after being married for years. There was a point in my marriage when my DH decided he doesn't want to have sex with me any more. For 2+ years. I didn't end up cheating but if I did, I'd feel not a tinge of remorse or threat to my self-respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her.now I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I'm convinced you are a narcissistic pig.

Agreed. So much entitlement with this guy. Cheating is the only acceptable solution for him because it’s good for him. If you’re a jerk, I guess you never have to worry about doing the right thing. You know, why give women in your life any agency over their life path? Aren’t women put on earth just to please him? Just a super jerk.

She has "agency" over her life path. She has chosen her life path with no regard for our marriage. I'm not going to interfere any longer in her chosen path. She isn't losing anything in this arrangement. She doesn't want intimacy with me and I no longer bother her about it. It's all good, really. Who knows, maybe something will click in her head some day and the switch will be turned back on, the same as it got turned off and we will resume. I'm not counting on it, but I never saw this coming either so I guess it could happen. Meanwhile, I know you would wish a sexless life upon me that I would never wish on you. Or a blown up marriage. But I'll manage this how I see fit. I hope it never happens to you. Any of you.

My husband felt the same way (though our marriage still having sex 2-4 times per week 22 years in. After 3 years I just found out about his old almost 50-year old hag Ashley Madison whore with 2 teen sons. He's in a crappy AirBnB because I threw him out and he's spiraling out of control. He is in risk of losing EVERYTHING.

He also thought he could get away with it. Extremely callous and cocky like you. I have since found out everything. I told his mother, his only very close relative/like a brother (his cousin). All of our friends are mutual, most from me--neighborhood, etc. He is losing everyone around him. He will lose $, he will lose extended family (mine is very tight and does big Holidays). He will have nobody. Even his own mother and cousin are disgusted with him right now.

I have a great job. I am the one that has the great health benefits we use as a family. My greatest wish is that he ends up having to support that stay at home mom whore and then she goes out and f*cks somebody in their bed like she was doing with him.

When I finally get a name, I am going to make her world come crashing down too. This is the 2nd time she had an Ashley Madison affair with a married man with kids. Somebody needs to take her *ss down too.

So, buddy, you might think you are craftier than my husband. He is extremely intelligent, perfect SAT scores, high up in IT with own business and after 3 years he spiraled and I discovered on synced photo that was accidentally taken (one of those that you didn't actually take bu hit as you were doing something,) that he did not know about.

So I hope you rot in hell for doing this to your wife too. Health risks to her--stds and also safety risks...that woman's husband could find out and come after you, you could eventually snap and end up on your doorstep.. OR she could have a spouse like me that is going to make your life a living h*ll, tell your spouse, tell everyone about you...maybe even get a megaphone and drive up and down her block announcing she's a home-wrecking whore.

His wife is not having sex with him - why are STDs a factor?

I'm also curious why you think you (who has been having sex with your husband regularly) and this poster's wife (who hasn't touched him for years) are in any way in a comparable situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Are you this clueless in real life too? OK, I'll explain it to you like I'm talking to a child. What do I have? I have an AP and we provide each other with what is missing from our marriages. Sex.
Why don't I tell her? Are you serious? Do you really not understand why I would throw my AP in her face? OK, since you don't seem to have a grasp on reality, I'll spell it out for you. She would react the same as I suspect you would react. And yes, I'm making a few assumptions here. One being that you are female, married, and would not take it so well to find out your husband has an AP. This would also lead to a huge blow-up, her demanding to know who this woman is that has destroyed her marriage, and... oh come on, you know the rest of this story. Why the F would I subject myself to that? That is all besides the fact that I owe it to my AP to not reveal our arrangement, the same as she owes it to me. Lastly, since you really don't get it, I don't want anything to cause my arrangement to end.

NP. You sound so selfish and horrible. You owe your AP loyalty but not your wife? That is true mental gymnastics. I wonder how you would feel if someone treats your daughter the way you treat your wife.

If my hypothetical daughter, as a grown adult treated her husband as her mother treats me, I'd expect no different from her hypothetical husband. I'd still have her back of course, no matter what.

I'm loyal to my wife. I'm not cheating her out of anything she doesn't want. She can resume our sex life anytime she likes and I'd be 100% loyal to her, with a sad farewell to my AP. Again, like talking to a child, what do you not understand about the loyalty I also owe to my AP? The two are mutually exclusive. It's not an either/or situation.

The bigger question is, what took you so damn long to comment, Mrs. What if this happened to your daughter, lady? And right back at you, what if this happened to your son? His wife totally cuts him off. No amount of talking makes any difference. She is done and she is perfectly content with her decision. She doesn't have a problem with it so won't even consider counseling. Marriage be damned. Don't even bring it up again.

What advice would you offer your son? Or would you just toss him some Astro Glide (I know you have some) and a towel and tell him to take care of it himself? You're right, I am a horrible person. I'm in good company here.

No judgment; NP here. How long have you cheated? How is it only sex if DW has decided to never touch you, how can you not dislike DW on some level?

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her. I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I've known women in that exact same position. 90% of the time they are only staying with the cheater because they can't afford to divorce. They don't want the big hit on their lifestyle and desire to keep the family under one home. None of them loved their DH, quite the opposite. Yes she knows what you've been doing. Also, women are much better actors than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ just divorce. Set your wife free.

I don't have her chained up. She is free to leave any time she likes. Or she can stay and deny her reality. Denial is working for her so far.

You're the one who's doing something she doesn't know about. She needs to know in order to make a decision. She might or might not divorce you.

guaranteed she knows. she was done with him years ago. and actually he's the one in denial...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her.now I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I'm convinced you are a narcissistic pig.

Agreed. So much entitlement with this guy. Cheating is the only acceptable solution for him because it’s good for him. If you’re a jerk, I guess you never have to worry about doing the right thing. You know, why give women in your life any agency over their life path? Aren’t women put on earth just to please him? Just a super jerk.

She has "agency" over her life path. She has chosen her life path with no regard for our marriage. I'm not going to interfere any longer in her chosen path. She isn't losing anything in this arrangement. She doesn't want intimacy with me and I no longer bother her about it. It's all good, really. Who knows, maybe something will click in her head some day and the switch will be turned back on, the same as it got turned off and we will resume. I'm not counting on it, but I never saw this coming either so I guess it could happen. Meanwhile, I know you would wish a sexless life upon me that I would never wish on you. Or a blown up marriage. But I'll manage this how I see fit. I hope it never happens to you. Any of you.

My husband felt the same way (though our marriage still having sex 2-4 times per week 22 years in. After 3 years I just found out about his old almost 50-year old hag Ashley Madison whore with 2 teen sons. He's in a crappy AirBnB because I threw him out and he's spiraling out of control. He is in risk of losing EVERYTHING.

He also thought he could get away with it. Extremely callous and cocky like you. I have since found out everything. I told his mother, his only very close relative/like a brother (his cousin). All of our friends are mutual, most from me--neighborhood, etc. He is losing everyone around him. He will lose $, he will lose extended family (mine is very tight and does big Holidays). He will have nobody. Even his own mother and cousin are disgusted with him right now.

I have a great job. I am the one that has the great health benefits we use as a family. My greatest wish is that he ends up having to support that stay at home mom whore and then she goes out and f*cks somebody in their bed like she was doing with him.

When I finally get a name, I am going to make her world come crashing down too. This is the 2nd time she had an Ashley Madison affair with a married man with kids. Somebody needs to take her *ss down too.

So, buddy, you might think you are craftier than my husband. He is extremely intelligent, perfect SAT scores, high up in IT with own business and after 3 years he spiraled and I discovered on synced photo that was accidentally taken (one of those that you didn't actually take bu hit as you were doing something,) that he did not know about.

So I hope you rot in hell for doing this to your wife too. Health risks to her--stds and also safety risks...that woman's husband could find out and come after you, you could eventually snap and end up on your doorstep.. OR she could have a spouse like me that is going to make your life a living h*ll, tell your spouse, tell everyone about you...maybe even get a megaphone and drive up and down her block announcing she's a home-wrecking whore.

You sound amazing! I’m sorry he obviously felt otherwise. Good luck with all your plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ just divorce. Set your wife free.

I don't have her chained up. She is free to leave any time she likes. Or she can stay and deny her reality. Denial is working for her so far.

You're the one who's doing something she doesn't know about. She needs to know in order to make a decision. She might or might not divorce you.

guaranteed she knows. she was done with him years ago. and actually he's the one in denial...

Nope. I would never know these things and many women on that other thread indicated they didn’t know. This is your messaging but you don’t know this. I am a woman and wouldn’t know any many other women on the other thread didn’t know.

So if wives don’t know, it’s up to the cheater to let the wife know. Divorce is an option. Do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her.now I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I'm convinced you are a narcissistic pig.

Agreed. So much entitlement with this guy. Cheating is the only acceptable solution for him because it’s good for him. If you’re a jerk, I guess you never have to worry about doing the right thing. You know, why give women in your life any agency over their life path? Aren’t women put on earth just to please him? Just a super jerk.

She has "agency" over her life path. She has chosen her life path with no regard for our marriage. I'm not going to interfere any longer in her chosen path. She isn't losing anything in this arrangement. She doesn't want intimacy with me and I no longer bother her about it. It's all good, really. Who knows, maybe something will click in her head some day and the switch will be turned back on, the same as it got turned off and we will resume. I'm not counting on it, but I never saw this coming either so I guess it could happen. Meanwhile, I know you would wish a sexless life upon me that I would never wish on you. Or a blown up marriage. But I'll manage this how I see fit. I hope it never happens to you. Any of you.

My husband felt the same way (though our marriage still having sex 2-4 times per week 22 years in. After 3 years I just found out about his old almost 50-year old hag Ashley Madison whore with 2 teen sons. He's in a crappy AirBnB because I threw him out and he's spiraling out of control. He is in risk of losing EVERYTHING.

He also thought he could get away with it. Extremely callous and cocky like you. I have since found out everything. I told his mother, his only very close relative/like a brother (his cousin). All of our friends are mutual, most from me--neighborhood, etc. He is losing everyone around him. He will lose $, he will lose extended family (mine is very tight and does big Holidays). He will have nobody. Even his own mother and cousin are disgusted with him right now.

I have a great job. I am the one that has the great health benefits we use as a family. My greatest wish is that he ends up having to support that stay at home mom whore and then she goes out and f*cks somebody in their bed like she was doing with him.

When I finally get a name, I am going to make her world come crashing down too. This is the 2nd time she had an Ashley Madison affair with a married man with kids. Somebody needs to take her *ss down too.

So, buddy, you might think you are craftier than my husband. He is extremely intelligent, perfect SAT scores, high up in IT with own business and after 3 years he spiraled and I discovered on synced photo that was accidentally taken (one of those that you didn't actually take bu hit as you were doing something,) that he did not know about.

So I hope you rot in hell for doing this to your wife too. Health risks to her--stds and also safety risks...that woman's husband could find out and come after you, you could eventually snap and end up on your doorstep.. OR she could have a spouse like me that is going to make your life a living h*ll, tell your spouse, tell everyone about you...maybe even get a megaphone and drive up and down her block announcing she's a home-wrecking whore.

His wife is not having sex with him - why are STDs a factor?

I'm also curious why you think you (who has been having sex with your husband regularly) and this poster's wife (who hasn't touched him for years) are in any way in a comparable situation?

Not the poster you were responding to: the fact that you’re cheating means it’s the same situation as the above lady. The fact that you’re as arrogant and narcissistic as above lady’s husband means you’re similar.

And before you say it, no the wife may not know that the husband is cheating and so it’s not the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her.now I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I'm convinced you are a narcissistic pig.

Agreed. So much entitlement with this guy. Cheating is the only acceptable solution for him because it’s good for him. If you’re a jerk, I guess you never have to worry about doing the right thing. You know, why give women in your life any agency over their life path? Aren’t women put on earth just to please him? Just a super jerk.

She has "agency" over her life path. She has chosen her life path with no regard for our marriage. I'm not going to interfere any longer in her chosen path. She isn't losing anything in this arrangement. She doesn't want intimacy with me and I no longer bother her about it. It's all good, really. Who knows, maybe something will click in her head some day and the switch will be turned back on, the same as it got turned off and we will resume. I'm not counting on it, but I never saw this coming either so I guess it could happen. Meanwhile, I know you would wish a sexless life upon me that I would never wish on you. Or a blown up marriage. But I'll manage this how I see fit. I hope it never happens to you. Any of you.

My husband felt the same way (though our marriage still having sex 2-4 times per week 22 years in. After 3 years I just found out about his old almost 50-year old hag Ashley Madison whore with 2 teen sons. He's in a crappy AirBnB because I threw him out and he's spiraling out of control. He is in risk of losing EVERYTHING.

He also thought he could get away with it. Extremely callous and cocky like you. I have since found out everything. I told his mother, his only very close relative/like a brother (his cousin). All of our friends are mutual, most from me--neighborhood, etc. He is losing everyone around him. He will lose $, he will lose extended family (mine is very tight and does big Holidays). He will have nobody. Even his own mother and cousin are disgusted with him right now.

I have a great job. I am the one that has the great health benefits we use as a family. My greatest wish is that he ends up having to support that stay at home mom whore and then she goes out and f*cks somebody in their bed like she was doing with him.

When I finally get a name, I am going to make her world come crashing down too. This is the 2nd time she had an Ashley Madison affair with a married man with kids. Somebody needs to take her *ss down too.

So, buddy, you might think you are craftier than my husband. He is extremely intelligent, perfect SAT scores, high up in IT with own business and after 3 years he spiraled and I discovered on synced photo that was accidentally taken (one of those that you didn't actually take bu hit as you were doing something,) that he did not know about.

So I hope you rot in hell for doing this to your wife too. Health risks to her--stds and also safety risks...that woman's husband could find out and come after you, you could eventually snap and end up on your doorstep.. OR she could have a spouse like me that is going to make your life a living h*ll, tell your spouse, tell everyone about you...maybe even get a megaphone and drive up and down her block announcing she's a home-wrecking whore.

Wow, so sorry for all you've been through! I'm not AM savvy--how do you know she's done this twice without knowing her name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ just divorce. Set your wife free.

I don't have her chained up. She is free to leave any time she likes. Or she can stay and deny her reality. Denial is working for her so far.

You're the one who's doing something she doesn't know about. She needs to know in order to make a decision. She might or might not divorce you.

Yes, and I've covered that several times now. I don't know what she knows but she would be pretty clueless (and she's not) to have not figured it out by now. She knows what she wants to know and chooses her own reality as I've chosen my best path for dealing with this. No need to be concerned about her. Throwing this in her face would not be a good thing. I'd rather let her live in her state of denial where she seems very content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Once your H cuts you off, I'll give you 2 years or less before you are banging pigs like me

A. My DH and I communicate and treat each other with respect, plus we take our vows seriously and have for 25 years, so
B. Neither of us will cut the other off, and
C. I have self-respect and need to live with myself, so I would ask for a divorce before ever cheating, and
D. I know better than to associate with narcissistic pigs.

New poster, you come across as really smug. That's great for you that your marriage is working and remains intimate after 25 years. Others aren't so lucky. And yes there is luck to some degree in having a long marriage survive happily unless you think all divorced people had it coming

My job is secure from Coronavirus and I have a lot of savings but I don't jump on boards of people struggling financially to tell them how wise I was to pick a career 25 years ago that can survive pandemics.

I’m not the original poster. She doesn’t sound smug to me. She sounds normal and says that there are mature ways of handling things. She also says that she wouldn’t cheat for her own self respect. Much to recommend her as a persons. Doing the right thing has nothing to do with your luck/circumstances and a lot to do with how you handle situations. The guys who are OK with cheating aren’t doing the right thing. It’s a character issue.

With respect, pontificating from high comes across as smug. She (and you) think you know what you would do in some hypothetical situation where intimacy dried up. So simple, have a conversation, and if that doesn't work out, divorce!

And if you have financial concerns? Mortgages that are tight in a good school district that means a divorce will require selling the house and moving to a lesser school? A special needs kid that requires an extra set of hands? One job that provides health insurance for the whole family? Suddenly "just divorce" isn't so simple (not that its simple under the best of circumstances). And until you have lived months, years without physical touch, you don't know what you are talking about. Sex and reproduction is on the top of the hierarchy of needs right beside food, air, water and shelter (and yes, I understand some people are asexual or low sexual and have no need for it).

And yes, I know there are some people who cheat for variety. My point is you have no idea what people are going through but feel free to sit on your perch from your happy 25 year married and throw stones if it makes you feel better. You are clearly morally superior to the rest of the people below you.

There but for the grace of God go ye.

Respectfully, I do know. Character comes through when you have to make tough decisions. It's about self-respect.

So you chose a sexless marriage out of respect. Good for you. My W chose to end our sex life and I went long, trying to respect her and our marriage for years. Then I chose to have sex again while she clung to her choices. It's really that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ and if that Ashley Madison whore is on this thread. LOOK OUT! I'm coming for you.

Do you have her screen name? Asking for a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Once your H cuts you off, I'll give you 2 years or less before you are banging pigs like me

A. My DH and I communicate and treat each other with respect, plus we take our vows seriously and have for 25 years, so
B. Neither of us will cut the other off, and
C. I have self-respect and need to live with myself, so I would ask for a divorce before ever cheating, and
D. I know better than to associate with narcissistic pigs.

Don't be so smug. No one plans on cutting each other off at the point of marriage, and people show themselves in unpredictable ways after being married for years. There was a point in my marriage when my DH decided he doesn't want to have sex with me any more. For 2+ years. I didn't end up cheating but if I did, I'd feel not a tinge of remorse or threat to my self-respect.

Yes, it's amazing how I felt when I first stepped out. Like..nothing. Not a bit of guilt, remorse, regret and certainly no loss of respect. I'd lost a lot of respect for my W but I don't feel that way anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My AP loves her H and I love my W. Been cheating going on 2 years and we have it down. On some level I greatly dislike that she has such callous disregard for the situation but I don't take it out on her anymore. I'm a much happier man for once again having a good sex life. She has every reason to be suspicious, knowing I don't, or didn't accept our sexless marriage and knowing that there has been a big change in me for the better recently while at the same time, I've stopped discussing sex with her.now I'm convinced she doesn't want to know and accepts it.

I'm convinced you are a narcissistic pig.

Agreed. So much entitlement with this guy. Cheating is the only acceptable solution for him because it’s good for him. If you’re a jerk, I guess you never have to worry about doing the right thing. You know, why give women in your life any agency over their life path? Aren’t women put on earth just to please him? Just a super jerk.

She has "agency" over her life path. She has chosen her life path with no regard for our marriage. I'm not going to interfere any longer in her chosen path. She isn't losing anything in this arrangement. She doesn't want intimacy with me and I no longer bother her about it. It's all good, really. Who knows, maybe something will click in her head some day and the switch will be turned back on, the same as it got turned off and we will resume. I'm not counting on it, but I never saw this coming either so I guess it could happen. Meanwhile, I know you would wish a sexless life upon me that I would never wish on you. Or a blown up marriage. But I'll manage this how I see fit. I hope it never happens to you. Any of you.

My husband felt the same way (though our marriage still having sex 2-4 times per week 22 years in. After 3 years I just found out about his old almost 50-year old hag Ashley Madison whore with 2 teen sons. He's in a crappy AirBnB because I threw him out and he's spiraling out of control. He is in risk of losing EVERYTHING.

He also thought he could get away with it. Extremely callous and cocky like you. I have since found out everything. I told his mother, his only very close relative/like a brother (his cousin). All of our friends are mutual, most from me--neighborhood, etc. He is losing everyone around him. He will lose $, he will lose extended family (mine is very tight and does big Holidays). He will have nobody. Even his own mother and cousin are disgusted with him right now.

I have a great job. I am the one that has the great health benefits we use as a family. My greatest wish is that he ends up having to support that stay at home mom whore and then she goes out and f*cks somebody in their bed like she was doing with him.

When I finally get a name, I am going to make her world come crashing down too. This is the 2nd time she had an Ashley Madison affair with a married man with kids. Somebody needs to take her *ss down too.

So, buddy, you might think you are craftier than my husband. He is extremely intelligent, perfect SAT scores, high up in IT with own business and after 3 years he spiraled and I discovered on synced photo that was accidentally taken (one of those that you didn't actually take bu hit as you were doing something,) that he did not know about.

So I hope you rot in hell for doing this to your wife too. Health risks to her--stds and also safety risks...that woman's husband could find out and come after you, you could eventually snap and end up on your doorstep.. OR she could have a spouse like me that is going to make your life a living h*ll, tell your spouse, tell everyone about you...maybe even get a megaphone and drive up and down her block announcing she's a home-wrecking whore.

His wife is not having sex with him - why are STDs a factor?

I'm also curious why you think you (who has been having sex with your husband regularly) and this poster's wife (who hasn't touched him for years) are in any way in a comparable situation?

This doesn't compare to my situation at all except for the cheating. She just came here to air out her anger and bitterness while claiming that none of it was her fault because she gave it up a few times a week. I guess we will have to take her word for that. I'm just like her XH in her eyes because, all cheating men are the same and the women they cheat with are all nasty, home wrecking whores.

Of course, the harpies always claim that those of us who cheat are just stepping into a bio-hazard mine field of STDs. You have to throw that one in there or it isn't DCUM. Same with, "what if that were your daughter?"
Truth be told, if I were single I'd be a hell of a lot more concerned with dating single women than married women when it comes to STDs.

I'd bet anything that her ex is a LOT happier now without her than he was before. But we only get her side where she is a saint and he is a horrible person. And maybe that's true but, me thinks she doth protest a bit too much to be completely believable here.