Wife had Affair with Coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.


+1

Not putting your kids first makes one a crap of a parent.

[Anonymous]

OP, What does your wife think about telling the AP’s spouse? Would she support you? Would she be willing to confirm the affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, What does your wife think about telling the AP’s spouse? Would she support you? Would she be willing to confirm the affair?

In these instances, the affairs are NEVER over when the cheater says they are. There's a lot of "trickle truth" and lies of omission. This is why it's important to compare notes with the other spouse. Plus, it's the right thing to do -- the other spouse needs to make informed decisions about his/her future and it's not fair to keep him/her in the dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, What does your wife think about telling the AP’s spouse? Would she support you? Would she be willing to confirm the affair?

what truth do you think a cheater and liar will actually tell him? after a multi-year affair, how much support will she give to her husband who has been blind-sided by her deception?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.

If you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think the discovery of your affair will not blow up your marriage, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think blowing up your marriage won't hurt your kids, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think your adult kids won't someday understand you cheated and despise you for it, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There is no way to have an affair and avoid affecting your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.

If you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think the discovery of your affair will not blow up your marriage, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think blowing up your marriage won't hurt your kids, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think your adult kids won't someday understand you cheated and despise you for it, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There is no way to have an affair and avoid affecting your kids.

This person gets it. PP not so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, What does your wife think about telling the AP’s spouse? Would she support you? Would she be willing to confirm the affair?

In these instances, the affairs are NEVER over when the cheater says they are. There's a lot of "trickle truth" and lies of omission. This is why it's important to compare notes with the other spouse. Plus, it's the right thing to do -- the other spouse needs to make informed decisions about his/her future and it's not fair to keep him/her in the dark.

This happened to my sister.
She caught her husband cheating with a co-worker & although she wanted him to quit to lesson the temptation, they weren't financially stable enough for him to quit... so they continued to work together.

He claimed the affair was over... they simply switched their affairs to lunchtime & because his AP's husband didn't know, she was able to put the motels on credit cards & the affair continued.

OP, she's been with him for YEARS, that's a long term relationship... if you think it will be that easy for them to see each other on the daily & not still have feelings for each other / continue, you're sticking your head in the sand once again because you don't WANT to know.

You should hire a PI, because if you're not willing to find out if it's continuing, then what was the point of calling her out in the first place?

Oh, and insist she switch companies IMMEDIATELY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.

If you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think the discovery of your affair will not blow up your marriage, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think blowing up your marriage won't hurt your kids, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think your adult kids won't someday understand you cheated and despise you for it, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There is no way to have an affair and avoid affecting your kids.

This person gets it. PP not so much!

The cheater dw here. I never compromised my time or affection to my kids. My dh was still getting his sex twice a week. Not a single thing went wrong. So, here it is: I cheated, had fun and it is over and will never be found out.

[Anonymous]

The cheater dw here. I never compromised my time or affection to my kids. My dh was still getting his sex twice a week. Not a single thing went wrong. So, here it is: I cheated, had fun and it is over and will never be found out.

To repeat: if you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There's a ticking time bomb under your marriage, and it's only a matter of time before it goes boom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.

If you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think the discovery of your affair will not blow up your marriage, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think blowing up your marriage won't hurt your kids, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think your adult kids won't someday understand you cheated and despise you for it, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There is no way to have an affair and avoid affecting your kids.

This person gets it. PP not so much!

The cheater dw here. I never compromised my time or affection to my kids. My dh was still getting his sex twice a week. Not a single thing went wrong. So, here it is: I cheated, had fun and it is over and will never be found out.

You are a selfish, self entitled a-hole. You have done more damage to your kids than you realize. Your selfish, self entitled mentality can’t even comprehend it. You obviously do not see it today, you probably will not see it next week, hopefully you will see it sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.

If you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think the discovery of your affair will not blow up your marriage, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think blowing up your marriage won't hurt your kids, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think your adult kids won't someday understand you cheated and despise you for it, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There is no way to have an affair and avoid affecting your kids.

This person gets it. PP not so much!

The cheater dw here. I never compromised my time or affection to my kids. My dh was still getting his sex twice a week. Not a single thing went wrong. So, here it is: I cheated, had fun and it is over and will never be found out.

I can see why your affair partner didn't want to commit to you. You sound incredibly selfish and immature. I wish your husband and children the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Deciding to be unfaithful is black and white. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad person. Deciding to be unfaithful does make you a bad mother. The only complication is you not owning your own choices/issues and dealing with them head on. It is easy to label you as a bad person. You cheated on your family.

Yes, it does. When you decide to cheat on your husband, you are deciding to do something that cannot fail to affect your relationship with your husband, and this, in turn, cannot fail to have a negative effect on your children.

The best environment for raising children is a happy marriage. If you do something to harm your marriage, you are a bad parent.

OMG what about the children? It's entirely possible to have an affair, play golf, or end age in any number of activities and still not cheat your children out of their time with you. Again, it's an adult situation. Don't drag the children into it.

If you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think the discovery of your affair will not blow up your marriage, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think blowing up your marriage won't hurt your kids, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.
If you think your adult kids won't someday understand you cheated and despise you for it, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There is no way to have an affair and avoid affecting your kids.

You do realize that affairs can go undetected? And that many people stay together after affairs? Kids have nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The cheater dw here. I never compromised my time or affection to my kids. My dh was still getting his sex twice a week. Not a single thing went wrong. So, here it is: I cheated, had fun and it is over and will never be found out.

To repeat: if you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There's a ticking time bomb under your marriage, and it's only a matter of time before it goes boom.

Maybe it was a crappy marriage. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The cheater dw here. I never compromised my time or affection to my kids. My dh was still getting his sex twice a week. Not a single thing went wrong. So, here it is: I cheated, had fun and it is over and will never be found out.

To repeat: if you think your affair will not be discovered, you are deluding yourself so you can pursue your selfish desires.

There's a ticking time bomb under your marriage, and it's only a matter of time before it goes boom.

No there isn't, drama queen. No one is going to find out now. It was a successful mission, now complete. (not PP, by the way)

[Anonymous]

Go to surviving infidelity. Your marriage won’t last if she continues to work with him. Let the other spouse know. I am really sorry.