| I recently confirmed my wife had an affair with a married coworker that lasted several years. I confronted her with the information and she acknowledged the affair. I am struggling with whether or not I should connect with the other affair partner or even contact his spouse. This just sucks! |
| No. Your issue is your wife and your marriage and your relationship. Deal with those. Revenge isn’t a good look. |
| how was your marriage at the time and how were you leading up to the affair as a husband? |
| ^^Agree. Your anger is misplaced. Be angry at your wife. Does your wife still want to be married? Do you? I’m really sorry. |
| Ask yourself how good of a husband and Dad you were? If fabulous then you have the upper hand. How much custody to protect your children from their corrupt wife are you seeking? |
| Do not connect the OM or his wife, although I can understand the desire to do so. How did you discover the affair, what was your wife’s explanation, and what does she say she wants to do now? Does she still work with the OM? |
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| Focus on your wife. |
Phone records and find my phone app. She does still work with him. |
| Get a good marriage counselor who can help keep your family together. |
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OP here
I get that it may seem spiteful to tell the offending partners spouse about the affair, but I keep coming back to putting myself in the position if I were the unaware spouse, I would want to know. |
. She has agreed to come to therapy with me which is a huge positive. We have our first session next week. |
. I do want to be married. I love my family and I love my wife. |
Yay! About how old are your children? |
agree revenge is no a good look. Would you honestly not want to know if your spouse was unfaithful? |