Wife had Affair with Coworker
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Anonymous
8-12 |
Anonymous
I was a good husband. I am not even considering custody at this point. I would like to work on saving the marriage first. |
Anonymous
Ok, good age to see how marriage IS hard, but you keep working on it. Hopefully, your wife will see the light. Your children desperately need two functioning parents under one roof. I know this. |
Anonymous
| Your wife needs to commit to finding another job ASAP. I might even ask her to quit today. |
Anonymous
| I hope it works out for you and your children. |
Anonymous
| It would be one thing to put up with a one time affair but long term would be a totally different story for me. I’d divorce and never look back. |
Anonymous
| Is the affair still ongoing? |
Anonymous
She says she ended it the next day. Another reason I am considering reaching out the affair partner. |
Anonymous
Thank you. It is a long and uncertain road ahead. |
Anonymous
| OP, I think you should contact the other spouse. As someone who suspects my spouse is hiding something, it has been really hard to live with uncertainty. Starts to make you feel crazy when you suspect something but can't prove it. |
Anonymous
| OP, I think you should contact the other spouse. As someone who suspects my spouse is hiding something, it has been really hard to live with uncertainty. Starts to make you feel crazy when you suspect something but can't prove it. |
Anonymous
But consider the possibility the wife DOES know. Maybe she found out much sooner and they’re working through it. You coming in brings it all up again. Maybe it was a hall pass situation. Some people have a DADT policy and she doesn’t want to know. You simply can’t invest your precious mental and emotional energy in someone else’s marriage when yours and yourself require all you’ve got. Really, it’s for your own good: focus on your own house. Step one if you plan to stay is her finding a new job without her affair partner working there. |
Anonymous
He will only back her up. Trust me, the second she knew you knew she covered her ass and told him the story she was going with. He’s got his own ass to cover so he’s invested in not blowing up her shit. Now, you COULD call and heavily imply to him you’ll be contacting his wife just to freak him out but DONT ACTUALLY CONTACT HER. Let him live with the fear and anxiety that each time she calls this is the call where she’s found out and his world is going to implode. He will be a wreck. |
Anonymous
| It’s an unpopular opinion here, but yes, I would reach out to the other spouse. I’d want to know so I could make an informed decision about my marriage. |
Anonymous
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I don't see why he shouldn't reach out to the other spouse just to confirm with her that the affair is over. This isn't revenge.
OP, don't be so hasty in going to marriage therapy, take care of YOU first. Make sure you eat, drink, and get you time. Don't beg your wife to do anything. Don't smother her with love. It won't work. It is annoying. It will only drive your wife away. If your wife has had an affair for a couple of years she has some work to do on herself. Reminder, you are hurting (so is she). But don't try to fix everything at once. You can't. This is a long, slow process. |