Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

Yes!

A wife’s attractiveness is completely unrelated to cheating.
The only variable that matters is the sexual fulfillment within the marriage.
Simple formula that is 99% accurate: men who are sexually fulfilled don’t cheat. Men who are not sexually fulfilled get that elsewhere.

You've heard from multiple women who were having regular sex with their husband when adultery came to light.

There is no simple formula in sexuality. Some men require more than monogamous sex with the same woman to be sexually fulfilled. I don't take this personally. If my husband wants novelty or variety or particular acts to be fulfilled, I can't provide that. No single woman can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

2s are easy pickins’ for 8-10s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

Yes!

A wife’s attractiveness is completely unrelated to cheating.
The only variable that matters is the sexual fulfillment within the marriage.
Simple formula that is 99% accurate: men who are sexually fulfilled don’t cheat. Men who are not sexually fulfilled get that elsewhere.

You've heard from multiple women who were having regular sex with their husband when adultery came to light.

There is no simple formula in sexuality. Some men require more than monogamous sex with the same woman to be sexually fulfilled. I don't take this personally. If my husband wants novelty or variety or particular acts to be fulfilled, I can't provide that. No single woman can.

For every one of those women, there are a hundred others where the marriage had very infrequent sex which is the reason for husband cheating. There absolutely is a very specific formula to husbands who cheat. I agree the formula is not simple when it comes to wayward wives, but men really ARE simple creatures and ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that they obviously know that sex outside of their relationship is not ok

Not all of them do. Narcissistic sociopaths don't.

Others find a way to rationalize it, usually by blaming their SO. Often involves revising the past such that their SO was "bad" and therefore deserves to be cheated on.

+1

Married to a charming narcissistic sociopath that would psychologically torment his AP by telling her how smart, successful and intelligent i was. He even sent photos of me to her. He thought that should make it ok. That he was committed to the marriage and proud of me. We were still having sex 3-4 times per week.

Yeah. Didn’t work for me. But, it’s chilling how they can compartmentalize and lie so seamlessly.

Ashley Madison. A whore and my whore husband just crashed my family by their sicko affair. I was still having sex with my husband 3-4 times per week. I have to go get tested for stds now.

This was the whore’s 2nd affair. My husband’s first. It lasted 3 years. I stumbled on a stupid mistake he made. My kids are going to suffer so much from this.

I am telling this whore’s husband. She would screw mine in her husband’s bed— about 3 times per month, meet for coffee. I found out my husband is a narcissist sociopath after 22 years.

They have wrecked 3 families between them. My family has zero divorces down either side. I will be the first to be divorced.

It is the most cowardly selfish vile thing for married people to do. Just leave.

They will rot in hell.

That website is the most disgusting thing ever. Delusional people thinking they will never be caught. Entering contracts to purposely f@ck over their wives and kids.

Its the people for narcissists, sociopaths and people from dysfunctional childhoods to come together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

Yes!

A wife’s attractiveness is completely unrelated to cheating.
The only variable that matters is the sexual fulfillment within the marriage.
Simple formula that is 99% accurate: men who are sexually fulfilled don’t cheat. Men who are not sexually fulfilled get that elsewhere.

This is the last reason men cheat. It’s more about ego and proving to themselves they can still get women to screw them even when they are completely sexually fulfilled at home.

[Anonymous]

^ great. I hope the whore that has gotten away with it twice is blindsided and her husband gets full custody and doesn’t have to pay support. My god, screwing other men in their marital bed in the afternoon. Does she even wash the sheets or herself after?

[Anonymous]

A wife cannot compete with “new”. After 20 years of the same, a wife cannot compete with the addiction and thrill of secretive sex. Even if she is putting out frequently. My spouse had a sex addiction and was serial cheater. It had nothing to do with his needs at home. It was messed up childhood trauma and narcissism. Requiring heavy therapy and psychiatric intervention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ great. I hope the whore that has gotten away with it twice is blindsided and her husband gets full custody and doesn’t have to pay support. My god, screwing other men in their marital bed in the afternoon. Does she even wash the sheets or herself after?

High level skank

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

Yes!

A wife’s attractiveness is completely unrelated to cheating.
The only variable that matters is the sexual fulfillment within the marriage.
Simple formula that is 99% accurate: men who are sexually fulfilled don’t cheat. Men who are not sexually fulfilled get that elsewhere.

You've heard from multiple women who were having regular sex with their husband when adultery came to light.

There is no simple formula in sexuality. Some men require more than monogamous sex with the same woman to be sexually fulfilled. I don't take this personally. If my husband wants novelty or variety or particular acts to be fulfilled, I can't provide that. No single woman can.

For every one of those women, there are a hundred others where the marriage had very infrequent sex which is the reason for husband cheating. There absolutely is a very specific formula to husbands who cheat. I agree the formula is not simple when it comes to wayward wives, but men really ARE simple creatures and ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.

That formula exists only in your imagination,and it's kind of amusing to see you confidently blurt out numbers to prove it. It's almost like you didn't just pull it out of your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

Yes!

A wife’s attractiveness is completely unrelated to cheating.
The only variable that matters is the sexual fulfillment within the marriage.
Simple formula that is 99% accurate: men who are sexually fulfilled don’t cheat. Men who are not sexually fulfilled get that elsewhere.

You've heard from multiple women who were having regular sex with their husband when adultery came to light.

There is no simple formula in sexuality. Some men require more than monogamous sex with the same woman to be sexually fulfilled. I don't take this personally. If my husband wants novelty or variety or particular acts to be fulfilled, I can't provide that. No single woman can.

For every one of those women, there are a hundred others where the marriage had very infrequent sex which is the reason for husband cheating. There absolutely is a very specific formula to husbands who cheat. I agree the formula is not simple when it comes to wayward wives, but men really ARE simple creatures and ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.

That formula exists only in your imagination,and it's kind of amusing to see you confidently blurt out numbers to prove it. It's almost like you didn't just pull it out of your ass.

I understand why you totally avoid any numbers and would critique me bringing actual numbers into this discussion. You would much rather make cheating about men's (lack of) morality. By making generalized statement about what "some men" do, it obfuscates the fact this is such a tiny fraction of the male population that it is barely worth discussing. Kind of like me claiming that "some women are mass shooters". While that may be a true statement, it is unproductive to any legitimate discussion about mass shooting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have long been struck by the fact that serial cheaters I have had as clients (mostly men) are usually married to beautiful women. Often these women are also accomplished and very bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and in fact often cheat with someone less attractive and less desirable than their spouse. As one addict put it: “I married a 10 and I cheated with 2s”.

Yes!

A wife’s attractiveness is completely unrelated to cheating.
The only variable that matters is the sexual fulfillment within the marriage.
Simple formula that is 99% accurate: men who are sexually fulfilled don’t cheat. Men who are not sexually fulfilled get that elsewhere.

You've heard from multiple women who were having regular sex with their husband when adultery came to light.

There is no simple formula in sexuality. Some men require more than monogamous sex with the same woman to be sexually fulfilled. I don't take this personally. If my husband wants novelty or variety or particular acts to be fulfilled, I can't provide that. No single woman can.

For every one of those women, there are a hundred others where the marriage had very infrequent sex which is the reason for husband cheating. There absolutely is a very specific formula to husbands who cheat. I agree the formula is not simple when it comes to wayward wives, but men really ARE simple creatures and ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.

That formula exists only in your imagination,and it's kind of amusing to see you confidently blurt out numbers to prove it. It's almost like you didn't just pull it out of your ass.

I understand why you totally avoid any numbers and would critique me bringing actual numbers into this discussion. You would much rather make cheating about men's (lack of) morality. By making generalized statement about what "some men" do, it obfuscates the fact this is such a tiny fraction of the male population that it is barely worth discussing. Kind of like me claiming that "some women are mass shooters". While that may be a true statement, it is unproductive to any legitimate discussion about mass shooting.

I avoid numbers because there isn't any data to generate them. It's just guesses. The question is, why do you feel compelled to bring in numbers, and call them "actual" numbers? Actual as in confirmed by what? Your opinion?

The fact is you simply do not know anything about how big or how tiny that fraction of the male population is. You pretend to know but you do not know.

Male desire for multiple numbers is borne out not only by biology but by many traditions over the history of human civilization. I don't consider it any part of morality. I don't judge men who have these desires. I mean am I not bored having sex with the same male over and over again? Of course. There is nothing my husband can do in bed or out to make me un-bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I avoid numbers because there isn't any data to generate them. It's just guesses. The question is, why do you feel compelled to bring in numbers, and call them "actual" numbers? Actual as in confirmed by what? Your opinion?

The fact is you simply do not know anything about how big or how tiny that fraction of the male population is. You pretend to know but you do not know.

Male desire for multiple numbers is borne out not only by biology but by many traditions over the history of human civilization. I don't consider it any part of morality. I don't judge men who have these desires. I mean am I not bored having sex with the same male over and over again? Of course. There is nothing my husband can do in bed or out to make me un-bored.

Well if there aren't ANY numbers, then on what basis can you refute my claim, or make any valid claims of your own? My opinion comes from reading dozens of articles online, plus all the cheating men I know (lots... 100% of them in sexless marriages), plus my own perspective on what would motivate me to cheat (or not). Do your own google research on this subject: avoid click bait opinion piece web sites, stick to the the more scientific research based articles, and there is pretty clear evidence for my position and it falls right on the sterotypical gender lines. Read carefully because lots of articles will start out with a 3 word acknowledgement of men's "unfulfilled sexual needs" before launching into a 5000 word treatise on the incredibly rare but more politically correct and female friendly version of a "serial player cheating husband."

I will not dispute male's desire for multiple numbers, or the effects of boredom. But what a man might theoretically want says little about whether or not he will take the steps necessary to pursue that want. 100% of men want 6-pack abs, but few men have done even a single crunch in the past year. 100% of salesmen want "good numbers" but are they making the calls to get there? If you look at what actually motivates a married man to go ahead and take the action to have sex with a woman who's not his wife, there is an irrefutable correlation here.

Again, your female perspective on sex and boredom maybe influencing you too much. For men, bored sex is always preferable to No sex. For women, why have sex at all unless it's exciting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I avoid numbers because there isn't any data to generate them. It's just guesses. The question is, why do you feel compelled to bring in numbers, and call them "actual" numbers? Actual as in confirmed by what? Your opinion?

The fact is you simply do not know anything about how big or how tiny that fraction of the male population is. You pretend to know but you do not know.

Male desire for multiple numbers is borne out not only by biology but by many traditions over the history of human civilization. I don't consider it any part of morality. I don't judge men who have these desires. I mean am I not bored having sex with the same male over and over again? Of course. There is nothing my husband can do in bed or out to make me un-bored.

Well if there aren't ANY numbers, then on what basis can you refute my claim, or make any valid claims of your own? My opinion comes from reading dozens of articles online, plus all the cheating men I know (lots... 100% of them in sexless marriages), plus my own perspective on what would motivate me to cheat (or not). Do your own google research on this subject: avoid click bait opinion piece web sites, stick to the the more scientific research based articles, and there is pretty clear evidence for my position and it falls right on the sterotypical gender lines. Read carefully because lots of articles will start out with a 3 word acknowledgement of men's "unfulfilled sexual needs" before launching into a 5000 word treatise on the incredibly rare but more politically correct and female friendly version of a "serial player cheating husband."

I will not dispute male's desire for multiple numbers, or the effects of boredom. But what a man might theoretically want says little about whether or not he will take the steps necessary to pursue that want. 100% of men want 6-pack abs, but few men have done even a single crunch in the past year. 100% of salesmen want "good numbers" but are they making the calls to get there? If you look at what actually motivates a married man to go ahead and take the action to have sex with a woman who's not his wife, there is an irrefutable correlation here.

Again, your female perspective on sex and boredom maybe influencing you too much. For men, bored sex is always preferable to No sex. For women, why have sex at all unless it's exciting?

I am not refuting your claim - I'm pointing out that it has zero evidence behind it, apart from your opinion.

I'm not going to do your research for you - if you have evidence for your claim, post your links here. Remember, you made the claim. 99%, was it? Where is the evidence? Where are these dozens of scientific research articles? So far, all you brought is your opinion plus "the men I know".

There is no irrefutable correlation because no one ever did any research proving any such thing.

What does it say about the men you know that they choose between Bored Sex vs. No Sex and not Bored Sex vs. Exciting Sex? Old Sex vs. New Sex? That I can tell you. Their options.

[Anonymous]

People are wired for serial polygamy. But marriage is a heavy burden with multiple strings attached. Not always easy to end one relationship to seek others.

[Anonymous]

I’m a 39 year old divorced mother who is bookmarking this thread. I’ll take a look at it anytime I think of marrying again. There is no value to marriage when you already have your own stability, wealth, and children. So much easier to leave a cheating partner than to untangle a cheating spouse from your life.