Funny how you think your pretend concern coupled with insults makes you a compassionate human. Yep, you don't desrve that cape. |
Staying after infidelity is their choice. You know what isn't? Being lied to and gaslit and not having all the information. If I want to stay with my husband after he cheats on me, that is my choice, but at least I'm making it with ALL the information out in the open. I'd rather make that decision actually knowing what's going on. |
I don't know why you're so hung up on OP telling her AP's spouse about the affair. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I think most spouses do want to know their partner is cheating on them. No one likes to look like an ass. So whether it was my df who told me or my ex's AP's spouse (she didn't have one), I would have wanted to know. From ANYONE who knew. |
And many men stay, too. |
Doesn’t matter either way the reality is just cause a friend tells you about the affair doesn’t mean it’s cause they’re concerned for you just like it doesn’t matter whyOP told the spouse about the affair. Your assumptions are not reality. Your maladaptive ways of looking at things are concerning, and I will check with a doctor on those. |
Agreed! |
Do you always gaslight people with differing opinions than yours l? and shut them down with weird medical Advice instead of entering any kind of meaningful discussion that matter you incorrect? If you do, maybe that’s is something “you should check with a doctor on those” about. I really suspect most of you screaming that you would leave, would actually not once you see the financial and custody implications of doing so. |
Sure. But that is always with eyes wide open and with the truth on the table. Being cheated on is about far more than sex. It is about taking away your agency to determine your life. If after you know that your spouse is a cheater, you decide to work through it, you have agency. If you go through life imagining that your partner is true to you, and they are not, you are not making an affirmative decision to stay. You are just a sucker. |
So youre extra sensitive about this, because your husband cheated? How did you find out? Did you shoot the messenger like youre doing here? |
I’d want to know if I were being cheated on
I’d tell other spouse if I found out my spouse and their spouse were cheating. This isn’t rocket science. |
Well he’ll will freeze before that happens …lol |
Sorry you went through this. It’s absolute hell. I’ve been where you are. I also told and I also was thanked and faced a very grateful other spouse for having done so. She was a bear at home apparently. And he now had facts to go forward. He filed for divorce. She lost the house. He didn’t have to pay her alimony. She still thinks it’s everyone else’s fault. But, none of that is my problem. I had my own kids and family to attend to after these two selfish dumb fks blew up their lives because they wanted some no-strings side sex midlife. |
Amen!!! |
OP didn’t involve strangers, her DH opened that door. The other spouse was grateful because his cheating spouse has been short-tempered at home and gaslighting him, which is emotional abuse. You have no moral compass and no backbone, clearly, and it is a travesty to all of us that you are raising kids who will similarly blameshift and won’t know right from wrong. |
OP acted without regard for the feelings of the other spouse, only to make herself feel better. That the other spouse did not react badly has nothing to do with that fact, no matter how hard you and OP spin it afterwards. |