Revealing affair

[Anonymous]

Good on you OP! 👍🏽

If my spouse had cheated on me - I would definitely want to know.

Life is much too short to live a lie…….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the posters calling AP a whore aren’t staying with their disgusting husbands.

OP doesn’t sound concerned, she just wanted revenge on the AP. Great, now both AP and her DH are free to be in a legit relationship.

Two cheating whores deserve one another. Scumbags.

The better way to see this: two suffering people, dying emotionally in their marriages to disappointing partners. They see each other across a crowded room and fall in love, liberating each other from unhappiness.

Sometimes the moral choice is to explore the feelings, to have the affair. When the spouse underachieves so much and weighs you down, they have silently given you permission to look around for a better option.

When you find that better option, the moral thing to do is to jump so that your kids can finally see what a loving marriage between two sane, not crazy, successful people looks like.

This. All of this. I feel seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the posters calling AP a whore aren’t staying with their disgusting husbands.

OP doesn’t sound concerned, she just wanted revenge on the AP. Great, now both AP and her DH are free to be in a legit relationship.

Two cheating whores deserve one another. Scumbags.

The better way to see this: two suffering people, dying emotionally in their marriages to disappointing partners. They see each other across a crowded room and fall in love, liberating each other from unhappiness.

Sometimes the moral choice is to explore the feelings, to have the affair. When the spouse underachieves so much and weighs you down, they have silently given you permission to look around for a better option.

When you find that better option, the moral thing to do is to jump so that your kids can finally see what a loving marriage between two sane, not crazy, successful people looks like.

This. All of this. I feel seen.

I know of a case where a person had 7 kids with first husband and then decided they were "dying emotionally" and found a better option. Had an affair baby which eventually resulted in the breakup of both cheaters' marriages and their eventual marriage to each other.

Also another person who cheated with a coworker and even made his wife go to dinner with him and the coworker while the secret affair was going on. That sounds pretty emotionally dead to me. But not in an exculpatory way.

Both ex-husbands are in financial difficulty now.

The kids are not impressed with the sanity of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Hold on. It’s the fault of the cheaters, who didn’t give a second thought to the stability and welfare of their children or spouses. Let’s not blame the victim here. The marriages were broken the moment those people decided to cheat.

Wrong. Sex is not the end all be all of marriage. Most marriages survive infidelity. When they don’t, a bad divorce ensues affecting kids. Don’t be the person who contributes to that probable outcome—worse than the original offense between adults/

Says the person who is still married to the person who cheated on them.

It is NEVER a good idea to remain married to a person that steps outside of their marriage.
Period.

I would not want to continue sharing my bed w/a spouse who would lie + betray me in such a nefarious manner.
And if we had kids in the home….

What kind of example would I be setting up for them?
To remain married to someone who is deceitful, has low integrity & is comfortable enough to take off their clothes w/another person??!

No one deserves to endure all the emotional strain that an infidelity can present in a marital relationship. 😥

No, I am divorced. No cheating involved. Worse things than cheating. I still stand by what I said: "Wrong. Sex is not the end all be all of marriage. Most marriages survive infidelity. When they don’t, a bad divorce ensues affecting kids. Don’t be the person who contributes to that probable outcome—worse than the original offense between adults/

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

You don’t know that. Most of us that caught our friends husband cheating, and told them we’re just so glad to get that **** out of our lives.

And many women stay. It doesn’t make them weak or less. It makes them
Different than you.

Staying after infidelity is their choice. You know what isn't? Being lied to and gaslit and not having all the information. If I want to stay with my husband after he cheats on me, that is my choice, but at least I'm making it with ALL the information out in the open. I'd rather make that decision actually knowing what's going on.

It's clear that the other posters know they'd never leave even if their husbands cheated on them because they can't and they don't want anyone else to know that they're too weak to do anything about it.

DING DING DING

They have no options so they’d rather live in a delulu “good marriage” than know the truth.

Yes, everyone knows Hillary Clinton and Beyonce are "too weak" and "delulu".

Um, yes. Consider why they stayed. I'll give you all the time you need.

I think Hillary stayed early on because of politics. They emotionally separated years ago. They are partners with a daughter, politics, and a lot of combined money. Beyonce is a different matter just from hearing her speak over the years. While super talented she is deeply co-dependent, not intelligent like Hillary, and very insecure. Reasons for every woman vary.

Sure. Doesn't make them not weak. They stayed for their own reasons because they didn't want to give up whatever their marriage brought them. Not exactly a shining example of strong women.