Anyone completely blind sided by a cheating spouse ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

Jesus. This sounds like my situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ha. Because listen to them putting down everyone else and thinking they are so smart and superior.

That’s why it’s funny. But I hope he doesn’t get caught because he’s a great screw.

That's just you trying to rationalize being your shitty self. They are superior to you because they aren't liars and cheaters.

I am the poster that asked why she was gloating. I believe in karma, and karma will bite you in the ass.

I also think it’s going to bite the people calling the betrayed posters on this thread stupid and clueless with their heads in the sand when they know absolutely zero about their situation. People like that usually end up eating crow when their spouse hits a midlife crisis in his 50s.

Talk about evil. Somebody is hurting and they come on and float and put down someone who just had their world blown apart.

That takes a special kind of bitch. Karma will certainly bite her in her smug mean @ss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ha. Because listen to them putting down everyone else and thinking they are so smart and superior.

That’s why it’s funny. But I hope he doesn’t get caught because he’s a great screw.

That's just you trying to rationalize being your shitty self. They are superior to you because they aren't liars and cheaters.

I am the poster that asked why she was gloating. I believe in karma, and karma will bite you in the ass.

I also think it’s going to bite the people calling the betrayed posters on this thread stupid and clueless with their heads in the sand when they know absolutely zero about their situation. People like that usually end up eating crow when their spouse hits a midlife crisis in his 50s.

Talk about evil. Somebody is hurting and they come on and float and put down someone who just had their world blown apart.

That takes a special kind of bitch. Karma will certainly bite her in her smug mean @ss.

*gloat, not float

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP but being blindsided by a cheating spouse means you are completely oblivious with your head in the sand!! There’s noway in hell I could ever be blindsided because I’m too astute to my relationship and my DH. The only way he could get away with anything would be if he was meeting someone during the day M thru F briefly but zero contact after 5 when he gets home and on weekends. I’m sure your Spouse was MIA, sneaking off for phone calls or lots of others unexplained habits. My gf told me one time her DH didn’t come home cause he got a flat tire and she just laughed it off I can’t even handle that kind of oblivion.

Ha. May you be so lucky never to be deceived in such a way.

Nope. He was always at work when he said he would be. I work full-time from home. We did everything together and were still having sex regularly. Zero warning signs.

He never had overnight work trips or went out with boys. We even worked out together and often drive the kids to practices together. He threw a blowout bday party for me 2 months ago, thoughtfully planned.

They met on Fridays during his work hours. In her house. He used a burner email account something I had never heard of.

If you asked neighbors, friends, families or my children if they ever would suspect this—hell no. 22 years of what seemed a happy marriage/family.

Btw, my dad was terminally ill from cancer when he started this up and died last year. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was preoccupied. But, he was a champ watching the kids and talking to them about their beloved grandpa and helping my mom too.

So—yeah—blindsided is pretty apt.

well, yeah, that blows the other woman's theory. would you know if your husband had an hour or so in another woman's house during regular work hours? do you talk to him 24/7 while he's at work?

Sorry I’m not buying it. And the fact you were preoccupied with your father says a lot. I’m sure there was a lot more going on than you even noticed because of this. There’s noway your DH was carrying on an affair only on Fridays!! I guarantee if I was his spouse his ass would’ve been caught a long time ago. FBI agent here and I’ve caught everyone I’ve ever dated with all kinds of spy gadgets. It’s not that hard once you get that feeling. FYI the only women that are ok with an afternoon romp are prostitutes. Just saying.

She’s married. A SAHM genius. I have all of the information. Confirmed (not by him) as well. But, thanks for having my back.

How did he even meet a SAHM? The gym? Already part of his social circle?

[Anonymous]

^ Ashley Madison of course. It’s where all the pathetic losers meet to have extramarital affairs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

Jesus. This sounds like my situation.

My daughter’s coach did the same thing to his wife and she was clueless and blind sided.

We were all pretty much blown away because it’s just like you described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP but being blindsided by a cheating spouse means you are completely oblivious with your head in the sand!! There’s noway in hell I could ever be blindsided because I’m too astute to my relationship and my DH. The only way he could get away with anything would be if he was meeting someone during the day M thru F briefly but zero contact after 5 when he gets home and on weekends. I’m sure your Spouse was MIA, sneaking off for phone calls or lots of others unexplained habits. My gf told me one time her DH didn’t come home cause he got a flat tire and she just laughed it off I can’t even handle that kind of oblivion.

Ha. May you be so lucky never to be deceived in such a way.

Nope. He was always at work when he said he would be. I work full-time from home. We did everything together and were still having sex regularly. Zero warning signs.

He never had overnight work trips or went out with boys. We even worked out together and often drive the kids to practices together. He threw a blowout bday party for me 2 months ago, thoughtfully planned.

They met on Fridays during his work hours. In her house. He used a burner email account something I had never heard of.

If you asked neighbors, friends, families or my children if they ever would suspect this—hell no. 22 years of what seemed a happy marriage/family.

Btw, my dad was terminally ill from cancer when he started this up and died last year. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was preoccupied. But, he was a champ watching the kids and talking to them about their beloved grandpa and helping my mom too.

So—yeah—blindsided is pretty apt.

well, yeah, that blows the other woman's theory. would you know if your husband had an hour or so in another woman's house during regular work hours? do you talk to him 24/7 while he's at work?

Similar with mine. Mine was with a co worker and she and him went to a hotel during the day. I had zero idea. No work trips, no staying out let, she had almost no friends, etc.

Same. "How could I be having an affair? I'm home every night." That's how.

Yep. And I used to be like that FBI lady, confident nobody would ever to do that to me. I knew the MO, all the tricks cheaters used and I paid attention and questioned everything. No boys only trips and all that. No separate vacations or away from the family weekend days. No nights out with just the boys. And...same thing happened to me. They do eventually get sloppy carrying the lie and that’s when you find out—with surprise and shock because none, zero, Nada of the signs were there.

As another person said, you cannot believe it unless it happens to you. It has given me the attitude that I know anyone is capable of anything. Some of the mousy (non bad boy) straight arrows in our neighborhood were found out to be cheaters. And everyone was shocked.

Whatever! It’s still not that difficult to catch a cheating spouse. How about checking their phone? But I suppose all the blindsided women think that’s an invasion of privacy? My DH doesn’t have his phone locked and once in a blue moon I’ll check it. If your DH has his phone locked that’s a sign. My friends spouse traveled during the week, home on weekends. I asked her if she ever checked his phone. She responded, omg never, if I did that it would mean I don’t trust him and trust is everything!. Hmmm he was having an affair and she left him. I was so shocked.

Oh, dear. If your husband KNOWS that you check his phone then why would he ever have conversations with another woman where you can see it? What exactly are you checking when you're on his phone? Calls and texts? Are you checking apps?? Facebook, Instagram, Twitter because it goes down in the DMs in case you haven't heard. Plenty men cheat during the work day. Do you know for certain that he's at work every day that you see him heading out for work? I doubt it. One thing I know for sure, is you can't be too sure of anything. If a man wants to cheat, he will and all your snooping on his phone won't stop it. He has an office phone, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

Did they divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP but being blindsided by a cheating spouse means you are completely oblivious with your head in the sand!! There’s noway in hell I could ever be blindsided because I’m too astute to my relationship and my DH. The only way he could get away with anything would be if he was meeting someone during the day M thru F briefly but zero contact after 5 when he gets home and on weekends. I’m sure your Spouse was MIA, sneaking off for phone calls or lots of others unexplained habits. My gf told me one time her DH didn’t come home cause he got a flat tire and she just laughed it off I can’t even handle that kind of oblivion.

Ha. May you be so lucky never to be deceived in such a way.

Nope. He was always at work when he said he would be. I work full-time from home. We did everything together and were still having sex regularly. Zero warning signs.

He never had overnight work trips or went out with boys. We even worked out together and often drive the kids to practices together. He threw a blowout bday party for me 2 months ago, thoughtfully planned.

They met on Fridays during his work hours. In her house. He used a burner email account something I had never heard of.

If you asked neighbors, friends, families or my children if they ever would suspect this—hell no. 22 years of what seemed a happy marriage/family.

Btw, my dad was terminally ill from cancer when he started this up and died last year. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was preoccupied. But, he was a champ watching the kids and talking to them about their beloved grandpa and helping my mom too.

So—yeah—blindsided is pretty apt.

well, yeah, that blows the other woman's theory. would you know if your husband had an hour or so in another woman's house during regular work hours? do you talk to him 24/7 while he's at work?

Similar with mine. Mine was with a co worker and she and him went to a hotel during the day. I had zero idea. No work trips, no staying out let, she had almost no friends, etc.

Same. "How could I be having an affair? I'm home every night." That's how.

Yep. And I used to be like that FBI lady, confident nobody would ever to do that to me. I knew the MO, all the tricks cheaters used and I paid attention and questioned everything. No boys only trips and all that. No separate vacations or away from the family weekend days. No nights out with just the boys. And...same thing happened to me. They do eventually get sloppy carrying the lie and that’s when you find out—with surprise and shock because none, zero, Nada of the signs were there.

As another person said, you cannot believe it unless it happens to you. It has given me the attitude that I know anyone is capable of anything. Some of the mousy (non bad boy) straight arrows in our neighborhood were found out to be cheaters. And everyone was shocked.

Whatever! It’s still not that difficult to catch a cheating spouse. How about checking their phone? But I suppose all the blindsided women think that’s an invasion of privacy? My DH doesn’t have his phone locked and once in a blue moon I’ll check it. If your DH has his phone locked that’s a sign. My friends spouse traveled during the week, home on weekends. I asked her if she ever checked his phone. She responded, omg never, if I did that it would mean I don’t trust him and trust is everything!. Hmmm he was having an affair and she left him. I was so shocked.

Oh, dear. If your husband KNOWS that you check his phone then why would he ever have conversations with another woman where you can see it? What exactly are you checking when you're on his phone? Calls and texts? Are you checking apps?? Facebook, Instagram, Twitter because it goes down in the DMs in case you haven't heard. Plenty men cheat during the work day. Do you know for certain that he's at work every day that you see him heading out for work? I doubt it. One thing I know for sure, is you can't be too sure of anything. If a man wants to cheat, he will and all your snooping on his phone won't stop it. He has an office phone, right?

Wow, you won’t give up, will you? Gloating without shame. You are so high on your high horse. Whatever makes you happy in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP but being blindsided by a cheating spouse means you are completely oblivious with your head in the sand!! There’s noway in hell I could ever be blindsided because I’m too astute to my relationship and my DH. The only way he could get away with anything would be if he was meeting someone during the day M thru F briefly but zero contact after 5 when he gets home and on weekends. I’m sure your Spouse was MIA, sneaking off for phone calls or lots of others unexplained habits. My gf told me one time her DH didn’t come home cause he got a flat tire and she just laughed it off I can’t even handle that kind of oblivion.

Ha. May you be so lucky never to be deceived in such a way.

Nope. He was always at work when he said he would be. I work full-time from home. We did everything together and were still having sex regularly. Zero warning signs.

He never had overnight work trips or went out with boys. We even worked out together and often drive the kids to practices together. He threw a blowout bday party for me 2 months ago, thoughtfully planned.

They met on Fridays during his work hours. In her house. He used a burner email account something I had never heard of.

If you asked neighbors, friends, families or my children if they ever would suspect this—hell no. 22 years of what seemed a happy marriage/family.

Btw, my dad was terminally ill from cancer when he started this up and died last year. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was preoccupied. But, he was a champ watching the kids and talking to them about their beloved grandpa and helping my mom too.

So—yeah—blindsided is pretty apt.

I think your marriage can be saved.

[Anonymous]

^ I do not. I can’t forgive somebody that lied and screwed somebody else for 3 years. The lies and level of deception are far too great. It takes a sick person to do something like that. He is admittedly sick with a host of issues, not just a philanderer.

After intense therapy, he would most likely hold it together for 3, 5 years or so and then start this stuff again. I’m getting older and I’m not going to get another bombshell 5-10 years from now. I also know myself well enough that I will never fully be able to forgive or forget.

3 years is too long to lie to your family and screw somebody else. There sheer number of lies and energy to keep that up for 3 years takes a lot of energy. How somebody could still play happy family and not let on they had an entire secret life is so twisted. What a con artist to everyone- me, kids, friends, family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

Jesus. This sounds like my situation.

Perhaps I am too cynical but this wouldn't surprise me. At all. That a man can be both a great father, family man, charitable, community minded, and show love and thoughtfulness to his wife and still have sex on the side is very much possible. Men can compartmentalize sex. I think this is far more common than people realize.

MLK, JFK, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin were serial cheaters, as were many famous people we admire. Whether they are good spouses is a separate question from whether they were good people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

Jesus. This sounds like my situation.

Perhaps I am too cynical but this wouldn't surprise me. At all. That a man can be both a great father, family man, charitable, community minded, and show love and thoughtfulness to his wife and still have sex on the side is very much possible. Men can compartmentalize sex. I think this is far more common than people realize.

MLK, JFK, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin were serial cheaters, as were many famous people we admire. Whether they are good spouses is a separate question from whether they were good people.

Sex. Yes. Short term. Yes.

Long time affair (2-3+ years)- no. That involves feelings. Like Prince Charles & Camilla

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ and married people with kids and schedules and activities in affairs ...when both are married with kids, career and kid activities---yes quite possibly only had time to meet up once per week-- especially if they were trying not to get caught or raise suspicion.

Miss FBI is so smug. One of those 'nothing like that will ever happen to me people' that will be enlightened as life goes on.

Didn't she say she was cheated on by all her boyfriends? She caught them by her super-sleuthing??? Or am I mistaking who is who in this thread.
Whatever, I agree, smug, sounds like a troll, writes like a male (not willing to up that to man).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

I think if one can do it without electronics it can be very hard to catch them. The biggest risk factor is feelings and emotions and the person you are f.ucking.