Anyone completely blind sided by a cheating spouse ?

[Anonymous]

^ and married people with kids and schedules and activities in affairs ...when both are married with kids, career and kid activities---yes quite possibly only had time to meet up once per week-- especially if they were trying not to get caught or raise suspicion.

Miss FBI is so smug. One of those 'nothing like that will ever happen to me people' that will be enlightened as life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP but being blindsided by a cheating spouse means you are completely oblivious with your head in the sand!! There’s noway in hell I could ever be blindsided because I’m too astute to my relationship and my DH. The only way he could get away with anything would be if he was meeting someone during the day M thru F briefly but zero contact after 5 when he gets home and on weekends. I’m sure your Spouse was MIA, sneaking off for phone calls or lots of others unexplained habits. My gf told me one time her DH didn’t come home cause he got a flat tire and she just laughed it off I can’t even handle that kind of oblivion.

Ha. May you be so lucky never to be deceived in such a way.

Nope. He was always at work when he said he would be. I work full-time from home. We did everything together and were still having sex regularly. Zero warning signs.

He never had overnight work trips or went out with boys. We even worked out together and often drive the kids to practices together. He threw a blowout bday party for me 2 months ago, thoughtfully planned.

They met on Fridays during his work hours. In her house. He used a burner email account something I had never heard of.

If you asked neighbors, friends, families or my children if they ever would suspect this—hell no. 22 years of what seemed a happy marriage/family.

Btw, my dad was terminally ill from cancer when he started this up and died last year. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was preoccupied. But, he was a champ watching the kids and talking to them about their beloved grandpa and helping my mom too.

So—yeah—blindsided is pretty apt.

well, yeah, that blows the other woman's theory. would you know if your husband had an hour or so in another woman's house during regular work hours? do you talk to him 24/7 while he's at work?

Similar with mine. Mine was with a co worker and she and him went to a hotel during the day. I had zero idea. No work trips, no staying out let, she had almost no friends, etc.

Same. "How could I be having an affair? I'm home every night." That's how.

Yep. And I used to be like that FBI lady, confident nobody would ever to do that to me. I knew the MO, all the tricks cheaters used and I paid attention and questioned everything. No boys only trips and all that. No separate vacations or away from the family weekend days. No nights out with just the boys. And...same thing happened to me. They do eventually get sloppy carrying the lie and that’s when you find out—with surprise and shock because none, zero, Nada of the signs were there.

As another person said, you cannot believe it unless it happens to you. It has given me the attitude that I know anyone is capable of anything. Some of the mousy (non bad boy) straight arrows in our neighborhood were found out to be cheaters. And everyone was shocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP but being blindsided by a cheating spouse means you are completely oblivious with your head in the sand!! There’s noway in hell I could ever be blindsided because I’m too astute to my relationship and my DH. The only way he could get away with anything would be if he was meeting someone during the day M thru F briefly but zero contact after 5 when he gets home and on weekends. I’m sure your Spouse was MIA, sneaking off for phone calls or lots of others unexplained habits. My gf told me one time her DH didn’t come home cause he got a flat tire and she just laughed it off I can’t even handle that kind of oblivion.

Ha. May you be so lucky never to be deceived in such a way.

Nope. He was always at work when he said he would be. I work full-time from home. We did everything together and were still having sex regularly. Zero warning signs.

He never had overnight work trips or went out with boys. We even worked out together and often drive the kids to practices together. He threw a blowout bday party for me 2 months ago, thoughtfully planned.

They met on Fridays during his work hours. In her house. He used a burner email account something I had never heard of.

If you asked neighbors, friends, families or my children if they ever would suspect this—hell no. 22 years of what seemed a happy marriage/family.

Btw, my dad was terminally ill from cancer when he started this up and died last year. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was preoccupied. But, he was a champ watching the kids and talking to them about their beloved grandpa and helping my mom too.

So—yeah—blindsided is pretty apt.

well, yeah, that blows the other woman's theory. would you know if your husband had an hour or so in another woman's house during regular work hours? do you talk to him 24/7 while he's at work?

Similar with mine. Mine was with a co worker and she and him went to a hotel during the day. I had zero idea. No work trips, no staying out let, she had almost no friends, etc.

Same. "How could I be having an affair? I'm home every night." That's how.

Yep. And I used to be like that FBI lady, confident nobody would ever to do that to me. I knew the MO, all the tricks cheaters used and I paid attention and questioned everything. No boys only trips and all that. No separate vacations or away from the family weekend days. No nights out with just the boys. And...same thing happened to me. They do eventually get sloppy carrying the lie and that’s when you find out—with surprise and shock because none, zero, Nada of the signs were there.

As another person said, you cannot believe it unless it happens to you. It has given me the attitude that I know anyone is capable of anything. Some of the mousy (non bad boy) straight arrows in our neighborhood were found out to be cheaters. And everyone was shocked.

Whatever! It’s still not that difficult to catch a cheating spouse. How about checking their phone? But I suppose all the blindsided women think that’s an invasion of privacy? My DH doesn’t have his phone locked and once in a blue moon I’ll check it. If your DH has his phone locked that’s a sign. My friends spouse traveled during the week, home on weekends. I asked her if she ever checked his phone. She responded, omg never, if I did that it would mean I don’t trust him and trust is everything!. Hmmm he was having an affair and she left him. I was so shocked.

[Anonymous]

Mine did not use his phone to communicate and I have his password. Phone is charged on the kitchen counter all night and whenever home. I will often use his if mine is not around.

Btw, yours could have a second Flip Phone you don’t anything know about. Happened to a neighbor so don’t be so smug.

Yes, my spouse was meticulous because he did not want to lose his family. There was no electronic trace as verified by PI. He works in IT so knows more about digital tracing then I’m sure you do.

He confirmed in therapy it was all face to face and burner account.

Have a good life. But, living in fear and being with somebody that you have to constantly check and monitor speaks to your suspicion and trust in him no matter how much you protest.

[Anonymous]

I’m probably banging the husband of one of these women that think they’re husband isn’t cheating on them. He’s married and covers is tracks incessantly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably banging the husband of one of these women that think they’re husband isn’t cheating on them. He’s married and covers is tracks incessantly

I don’t know why that is funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine did not use his phone to communicate and I have his password. Phone is charged on the kitchen counter all night and whenever home. I will often use his if mine is not around.

Btw, yours could have a second Flip Phone you don’t anything know about. Happened to a neighbor so don’t be so smug.

Yes, my spouse was meticulous because he did not want to lose his family. There was no electronic trace as verified by PI. He works in IT so knows more about digital tracing then I’m sure you do.

He confirmed in therapy it was all face to face and burner account.

Have a good life. But, living in fear and being with somebody that you have to constantly check and monitor speaks to your suspicion and trust in him no matter how much you protest.

How did you find out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably banging the husband of one of these women that think they’re husband isn’t cheating on them. He’s married and covers is tracks incessantly

I don’t know why that is funny.

Ha. Because listen to them putting down everyone else and thinking they are so smart and superior.

That’s why it’s funny. But I hope he doesn’t get caught because he’s a great screw.

[Anonymous]

I suspect my spouse has cheated but I can't prove it. I know he is lying about money. He password protects everything. He has lied to my face. But I can't prove it and he continues to gaslight me. I would love to be able to confront him with hard evidence. I would love the FBI agent to share some tips. I know I am not alone.

[Anonymous]

Felt sad reading this, caught DH 2 years agoafter 9 yes of marriage and 8 yr kid. Decided to call it quits, but he begged me to stay.

Now 2 yrs on, i can tell he regrets it, and that makes me feel sad. Hes emotionally distant, doesnt want 2 spend an extra minute talking to me, its lonely.. no massive hostility, just kindness mixed with indifference

Essentially the problems that led 2 him cheating are still there, im just not blindsided so badlyy

I think i will file when covid is over. But i do worry abt my daughter, hes a goid dad, im a good mom...shes the one who ultimately loses, and no living in2 separate hhs is not the same... shes a sensitive kid

[Anonymous]

Ha. Because listen to them putting down everyone else and thinking they are so smart and superior.

That’s why it’s funny. But I hope he doesn’t get caught because he’s a great screw.

That's just you trying to rationalize being your shitty self. They are superior to you because they aren't liars and cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Felt sad reading this, caught DH 2 years agoafter 9 yes of marriage and 8 yr kid. Decided to call it quits, but he begged me to stay.

Now 2 yrs on, i can tell he regrets it, and that makes me feel sad. Hes emotionally distant, doesnt want 2 spend an extra minute talking to me, its lonely.. no massive hostility, just kindness mixed with indifference

Essentially the problems that led 2 him cheating are still there, im just not blindsided so badlyy

I think i will file when covid is over. But i do worry abt my daughter, hes a goid dad, im a good mom...shes the one who ultimately loses, and no living in2 separate hhs is not the same... shes a sensitive kid

I feel really bad for you. He begged for you to stay and now he regrets it? Have you talked to him about it? What is causing him to have cheated and behave this way?

[Anonymous]

My Friend’s DH cheated on her with no electronic or other trace. He didn’t email, call or text the OW beyond work emails (and rarely) but saw her M-F at work with her Apt 2 blocks away. He was a devoted family man from all appearances, coached DC’s sports team, affectionate towards his wife, great family vacations, etc. This went on for years. The OW told her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ha. Because listen to them putting down everyone else and thinking they are so smart and superior.

That’s why it’s funny. But I hope he doesn’t get caught because he’s a great screw.

That's just you trying to rationalize being your shitty self. They are superior to you because they aren't liars and cheaters.

I am the poster that asked why she was gloating. I believe in karma, and karma will bite you in the ass.

[Anonymous]

PP here , the one whos husband begged to stay... he said that once he was confronted with the option of actually exiting he didnt want to do it...

The problem in our marriage has been the same for a long time, he says that there is no sexual chemistry and in the early years we didnt have sex often enough.. once in 5/6 days... so he felt ‘ cheated’... then baby, jobs, work pressure everything took its toll

Hes a good man, but an only child of parents who each married 3 times... shud have been a red flag...didnt want my kid to have the same broken hhs experience as him

But, i think its a futile battle...