Anyone completely blind sided by a cheating spouse ?

[Anonymous]

Yep, right here! I found out about three years ago that my husband who has always been an advocate for doing the right thing, who was raised by single mother, and who abhorred cheaters was cheating on me with a neighbor. We went to counseling for about two years and just officially separated in February of this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, right here! I found out about three years ago that my husband who has always been an advocate for doing the right thing, who was raised by single mother, and who abhorred cheaters was cheating on me with a neighbor. We went to counseling for about two years and just officially separated in February of this year.

I’m the man from above with the cheating ex wife. She abhorred and judged cheaters and was very prim and proper acting.

I believe only in the rarest of circumstances can a marriage recover from an affair. Very rare if not impossible. Looks like you tried for a couple years as well. I wish I saved the money from counseling and bit the bullet and immediately divorced. I see no gain from my trying to save things for two years. Perhaps you feel the same as well.

[Anonymous]

Unpopular take, but I think most people secretly know (or are purposefully blind).

[Anonymous]

Yea, pregnant with 2nd

Did counseling.

Eventually caught him again, not blind sided that time.

He moved into the nanny suite.... we got along great so I didn’t rush the divorce.

He moved out when the youngest went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular take, but I think most people secretly know (or are purposefully blind).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea, pregnant with 2nd

Did counseling.

Eventually caught him again, not blind sided that time.

He moved into the nanny suite.... we got along great so I didn’t rush the divorce.

He moved out when the youngest went to college.

What did your kids think about him in the nanny suite?

Were they aware there was a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, right here! I found out about three years ago that my husband who has always been an advocate for doing the right thing, who was raised by single mother, and who abhorred cheaters was cheating on me with a neighbor. We went to counseling for about two years and just officially separated in February of this year.

I’m the man from above with the cheating ex wife. She abhorred and judged cheaters and was very prim and proper acting.

I believe only in the rarest of circumstances can a marriage recover from an affair. Very rare if not impossible. Looks like you tried for a couple years as well. I wish I saved the money from counseling and bit the bullet and immediately divorced. I see no gain from my trying to save things for two years. Perhaps you feel the same as well.

Actually, I didn’t mind putting the extra two years in. I think after going to counseling, I could step away from this marriage and know that I did everything I could to make it work for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular take, but I think most people secretly know (or are purposefully blind).

I can tell you the only sign I had was she seemed overly critical and emotionally distant. But I never connected that to cheating.

[Anonymous]

Did any of you ever have contact with the person they were cheating with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you ever have contact with the person they were cheating with?

I’m the pregnant lady.

The 1st one no.

The 2nd was a coworker and I saw her at work events, I never actually suspected her specifically she literally looks like a man... like Pat from Saturday night live. My son actually caught them and he was like is dad gay. I was like no that’s a woman. That took a bit of counseling for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you ever have contact with the person they were cheating with?

I’m the pregnant lady.

The 1st one no.

The 2nd was a coworker and I saw her at work events, I never actually suspected her specifically she literally looks like a man... like Pat from Saturday night live. My son actually caught them and he was like is dad gay. I was like no that’s a woman. That took a bit of counseling for him.

Lol. My ex cheated with a co worker and I knew of him and met him before. Guy here from above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you ever have contact with the person they were cheating with?

I’m the pregnant lady.

The 1st one no.

The 2nd was a coworker and I saw her at work events, I never actually suspected her specifically she literally looks like a man... like Pat from Saturday night live. My son actually caught them and he was like is dad gay. I was like no that’s a woman. That took a bit of counseling for him.

Oh no! Your poor son.

That is pretty fun about SNL Pat though- thanks for the laugh. I could use one now.

[Anonymous]

The neighbor still lives here, so I see her all the time. Our kids play together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, pregnant with 2nd

Did counseling.

Eventually caught him again, not blind sided that time.

He moved into the nanny suite.... we got along great so I didn’t rush the divorce.

He moved out when the youngest went to college.

What did your kids think about him in the nanny suite?

Were they aware there was a problem?

Yes they knew. My son caught him. I just said what do you prefer going to his house every other weekend or this.

I also said sometimes other people make mistakes and you suck it up. I’m not about feeling sorry for myself. I could afford the house alone.

My H did counseling for 4 years 3x a week, ended up being diagnosed with PTSD. So I’m glad he had family around to heal and eventually be a good dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you ever have contact with the person they were cheating with?

I’m the pregnant lady.

The 1st one no.

The 2nd was a coworker and I saw her at work events, I never actually suspected her specifically she literally looks like a man... like Pat from Saturday night live. My son actually caught them and he was like is dad gay. I was like no that’s a woman. That took a bit of counseling for him.

Oh no! Your poor son.

That is pretty fun about SNL Pat though- thanks for the laugh. I could use one now.

That is funny! Goes to show that people "affair down" in terms of looks.